A Captain's Tears
by KatieLizJane
Summary: New Earth changes the course of events. He noticed she didn't once turn to look at him, staring straight ahead, and her voice was the strict voice of a stern commanding officer. There was no hint of softness, playfulness, or joy; there was no hint of Kathryn. My first fan fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: The Characters Belong to Paramount, and maybe other people, too.**

**The sappyness is all mine. I make no money from either.**

**Author's note: **My very first fan fic, suggestions are welcomed but please try to be kind. Also, I don't necessarly follow the show's timeline, I just go wherever my imagination takes me, so if events are out of order, new, unheard of or compleately different then on the show that's just how I saw it in my head.

_This is home-_ Thought Kathryn Janeway. She had refused to believe it for weeks. _Voyager_ was long gone by now, but she hadn't let go. She hadn't let go of the hope of seeing her crew again, or the hope of fulfilling her promise to get them all home. She was her captain; _Voyager_ should arrive at the Alpha Quadrant with her in command. Now, however, she and Chakotay, her first officer, were on a planet they named _New Earth_, and all hope of returning to _Voyager_ was gone.

Chakotay had accepted New Earth as his home almost immediately. She still held out hope of finding a cure for the illness which kept them prisoners on this beautiful planet, well at least she did for a time. Now she came to the realization that this was home, for good.

Chakotay had declared his love for her in a, not so cryptic, story about an angry warrior. Still, she had kept him at arm's length, due to protocol, maybe as a habit, or a learned form of self-preservation, despite her love for him. This evening she had gone to bed wondering why she had done that. They were both aware of the fact that she was in love with him. They both knew her obligations as a captain, her promise to get the crew home, her guilt of having stranding them in the Delta Quadrant, and the ever-present need to keep to protocol, were keeping her from openly expressing that love. Here on New Earth without her obligations, protocol, or any chance at keeping her promise to the crew, only the guilt remained. It was time to let go of that guilt.

"This is home." She whispered to herself. In that moment she made a choice. She decided to allow herself to love him, to forgive herself, and make planet, _New Earth_, a home for both them. She listened to his soft breathing from behind the partition and felt a rush of warmth and excitement come over her. She smiled to herself like a school girl whose crush had just noticed her. Tomorrow she would tell him, tomorrow she would declare her love, tomorrow they would not sleep alone. She was tempted to crawl into bed beside him now, to feel his warm body next to hers. She longed to feel his arms around her.

She quietly rose from her bed and slipped into the common living area they shared. She paced wondering if she should go to him. She didn't want to intrude on his space, his bed, uninvited. She honestly didn't think he'd mind, but she might startle him. He might assume something must be wrong. She was nervous and a bit scared, again, like an adolescent experiencing her first love.

In a moment she had made up her mind! She decided to go to him. She was quietly entering his small sleeping area when she heard the com badge. _OH GOD!_ - She felt the world closing in on her. All the weight of her responsibilities came crashing down. Fear took hold of her. She ran to the small table where they had discarded their com badges week ago, quickly scooped them up and closed her fist around them then ran outside as quietly as she could.

"Voyager to Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay"-Tuvok's voice was a bit distorted with static but still unmistakable.

"Janeway here."

"Captain we have found a cure for you and the Commander we are on our way to retrieve you." Tuvok's voice was as emotionless as ever.

Kathryn tried to steady her own voice, "How long do we have?"

"Approximately thirty hours Captain."

"Understood, Janeway out." Kathryn leaned back against the rough bark of a small tree that stood by the bath tub Chakotay had made for her, and allowed herself a few moments to take it all in. After a few moments she, walked into their makeshift home, deposited the com badges back in their original locations and quickly slid into bed beside her first officer, before she could change her mind. He reached for her, not quite awake, believing it was another one of his dreams of holding her. When she softly touched her lips to his he slowly came to the realization that this might not be a dream.

"Kathryn?" His expression showed her just how confused he was.

She touched her fingers gently to his lips then slowly brought her lips to his once more. The soft kiss slowly grew more passionate and she knew there was no turning back for her, and she didn't want to. In a little over a day they would be the captain and commander again and didn't want to waste this night.

Kathryn and Chakotay awoke in each other's arms, somehow managing to stay in the tiny cot without falling out and onto the floor in their sleep. The sun was slowly rising over the horizon and it was going to be a beautiful day. Chakotay looked at Kathryn with a wonderfully happy smile and declared his love for her once more. He kissed her and with the promise of breakfast, he rose. He was happily humming as he prepared their meal. She sat at the table staring at him, marveling at how happy he was, all the while knowing that his happiness was about to end. She got up and went to him, wrapping her arms around him from behind. Her hands slid up his bare chest and she pressed one side of her face against his back. _Oh, if it could only last forever._ He turned and put his arms around her, pulling her body against his he gave her a long and passionate kiss.

She held on, refusing to break the kiss. He finally broke free from the kiss and said "Kathryn"

"Hmmm?" she hummed softly.

"Kathryn, our food is going to burn." He chuckled, turned around and gave their breakfast a little more attention.

At breakfast they held hands and sat closer to each other. They laughed and kissed between bites. How was she going to tell him they were leaving in roughly 24 hours? What had she done? How could she go back? When they cleared the table she reached for him and led him back to bed. She knew this would be the last time they would make love.

When Chakotay stepped into the sonic shower she knew what to do. She waited a minute or two then she took her com badge outside; he couldn't know that she was initiating the contact, and tapping the badge she called out, "Janeway to _Voyager_"

"_Voyager _here, it's good to hear your voice Captain", answered Tom Paris.

"Can I get an update, please, Mister Paris?" said a voice that was clearly the authoritative voice of Janeway, the Captain.

"We're just under 23 hours out, Captain." By this time Chakotay had completed his sonic shower and headed out to investigate the voices he had heard.

"Lieutenant Paris, can you tell me how you happened upon this cure?"

Tuvok had come onto the bridge and answered for Tom, "We acquired the vaccine from the Vidiians, Captain. I take full responsibility for disobeying your orders."

"We'll discuss it when we're back on Voyager, Commander. Janeway out."

Chakotay stood at the doorway, with nothing but a towel around his waist, shocked at what he was hearing. He finally had the love of his life, and his relationship was over before it was a day old.

"Kathryn, it doesn't have to change, we love each other…" he said desperately, knowing that she would go back to being the "Captain" who wouldn't allow herself to love her first officer.

"_Voyager_ arrives tomorrow morning, Commander, I suggest we start preparing." Kathryn strolled passed him into her tiny sleep area. Once there she allowed herself to cry. She had to draw the line, make it clear that this planet and the relationship they had while on it was a part of the past. After a half hour of silent tears she discarded her dress and slowly pulled on her Starfleet uniform piece by piece. She emerged from her "room" a picture-perfect officer, with an excellently controlled expression which did not betray a single one of her emotions. "Commander, I suggest we pack all personal effects first, then together we can start taking down the other items we plan to take back to _Voyager_."

"Kathryn, can we talk about this, please!" He was pleading with her, practically begging her.

"You have your orders, Commander!" The words came out harsh, much harsher than she intended them to. She fought the urge to cry, she couldn't let him see that she was struggling to maintain her composure. She stormed out in feigned anger and took a walk in the woods to regain control of her emotions. She decided to visit all of their favorite spots; to see them one last time. She lost herself to the memories made on _New Earth _and shed a few more tears. By the time she arrived back at their little home late in the afternoon, her emotions were well controlled.

Upon her return she found that most of the furniture had already been packed up. All that remained were; her own personal belongings, the replicator, a small table to eat on, and their beds.

"I'm glad to see you're alright." He told her. He truly was relieved but his anger was also evident in his words.

"Why wouldn't I be, Commander?" She snapped at him.

There it was again, his rank. She couldn't even use his name. The anger welled up inside him. She was dehumanizing him! He was just a rank to her now.

"Well I'm glad you manage on your own, _Captain_!" All his anger concentrated in that last word. A single word; _Captain_. That word was keeping them apart.

It was his turn to take a walk. He didn't return until well after dark. She was a in bed. She heard him come in and go to his own small cot, where they had made love earlier that day. She lay as quiet as she could, tears soaking into her pillow.

**To be continued.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: The Characters Belong to Paramount, and maybe other people, too.**

**The sappyness is all mine, and it gets sappier as I go. I make no money from either.**

I've no proofreader, all errors are all mine and I apologise for any and all.

The following morning the command team was beamed up to Voyager. The senior officers greeted them at the bridge with smiles expressing their happiness and relief. Well, all but Tuvok, no one had ever seen_ him_ smile. Captain Janeway exchanged short greetings and expressed her gratitude then went right to business. Standing at center-bridge she gave Tom Paris instructions to resume course at warp 8. As she did, she walked over to him and rested her hand on his shoulder, a move that did not go unnoticed by Commander Chakotay. As she took her place in the captain's seat she issued orders for reviews of the ships systems, dividing them between her first officer and herself. He noticed she didn't once turn to look at him, staring straight ahead, and her voice was the strict voice of a stern commanding officer. There was no hint of softness, playfulness, or joy; there was no hint of Kathryn.

After his shift, as he thought about how she hid herself behind her Captain's Image, his mind floated back to her hand on Tom Paris' shoulder. She had been warm to Tom, but the captain was always touching the shoulders of her crewmen, and sometimes the chests of male crew, this was her way. No he couldn't think that way, but then her hand had lingered there longer then he would have liked. Jealous, that's how he felt. He couldn't get her to make eye contact with him but Paris had gotten to feel her touch on him!

Things continued this way for some time; she avoiding his eyes and keeping a distance, and he noticing every time she placed her hand on any member of the crew. So far he estimated that Tom Paris was getting the most "physical" attention. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he just couldn't help himself. He didn't hide his anger, he made sure she felt it, every day, if only in subtle ways.

Tension had just begun to ease when Chakotay's former lover Seska contacted them_. _ Seska claimed her Kazon lover took one look at her newborn son and realized that he was not the father, Chakotay was. According to Seska, the child was now in danger and she wanted Chakotay to help her save the baby. Capatin Janeway launched a rescue mission. She risked herself, her crew and her ship, to help rescue a child that _might _be Chakotay's. He hadn't though it possible, but because of this he loved Kathryn Janeway her even more. Unfortunately, his jealousy grew to be stronger than ever.

It had been a trap. The crew of _Voyager _played right into the Kazon's hands and lost control of their ship. During their struggle to retake the ship they discovered that Seska's child was indeed the child of the Kazon leader and not Chakotay's child.

"How do you feel about that?" Kathryn had asked Chakotay.

"To be honest with you, I'm relieved. I wasn't ready for it." Chakotay thought that was the best way to answer, but the truth was that he was a little disappointed. There was little time to talk, however, they had a ship to recover.

The hardships and struggles they had faced had taken a toll on the entire crew. When the ship was retaken most crewmen were sleep deprived and in need of nourishment. Kathryn looked especially worn. The only good thing about this whole situation was that she and her first officer were speaking to each other again. After taking the bridge and securing her ship the captain demanded reports and reviews of all major systems. When all immediate checks were done, and only diagnostics and reports that would take several hours remained, she turned over the bridge to the first officer.

Struggling to keep it together she headed to her quarters. She had gone at least forty-eight hours without food or sleep, at least she thought it was that long, it could have been more.

"Deck three." She ordered the turbo lift.

Walking down the corridor she felt week and a bit dizzy. She leaned against the wall for a moment to steady herself.

"Captain." She heard a voice call to her. Looking up, she saw a worried B'Elanna Torres approaching. "Here, Captain, let me help you to your quarters." Helping her in and onto a chair she asked "Are you going to be alright?"

"Yes, B'Elanna I'm fine I just need to sit for a minute… and have a cup of coffee." She added that last part as a playful way of proving to B'Elanna that she was just fine.

"Maybe we should get you to sick bay." B'Elanna knew what the response to that would be but she tried anyway.

"NO!" The captain could be quite scary, but B'Elanna wasn't intimidated.

"Then let me get Tom, he's a medic, he can do a scan here in your quarters and you won't have to deal with the Doctor." Kathryn shook her head but was cut off before she could make a verbal protest. "If you don't agree, I'll go announce it on the bridge that the captain is not well. Then you can deal with the line of senior officers attempting to _drag_ you to sick bay." B'Elanna threatened.

"Blackmail, B'Elanna?" Kathryn raised an eyebrow as she spoke.

"Whatever works, I'm a rebel, remember?" B'Elanna had a sly grin, she knew she'd won.

"Torres to Paris, can I see you… uh," shoot she couldn't announce that she wanted him in the captain's quarters! "… outside holodeck one, please."

"What's this about?" Tom sounded surprised and bothered at the same time.

"Just get here?" Hissed B'Elanna.

B'Elanna apprised Tom of the situation swore him to secrecy and sent him off to "borrow" a medical tricorder from sick bay. He would have replicated a medical tricorder but he was saving his rations for his next romantic dinner with one of the many beautiful women on Voyager. "Lieutenant Paris, you don't have a shift here today. Are you here as a patient?" The Doctor sounded anything but concerned.

"No…I just left something here during a shift… uh…don't worry I can manage myself." Muttered Tom.

"Well I hope so, wouldn't that be another duty to waste my talents on. I'll be in my office." Replied the Doctor.

"Thank God." mumbled Tom under his breath.

Tom grabbed a medical tricorder and headed straight to the captain's quarters.

In her quarters Kathryn was pacing, she hated medical exams. She knew Tom would tell her to rest, and that she needed to eat better; take better care of herself in general. She knew this, this is what she was always told, and she hated it.

She let him in when she heard him at the door. "Ok, I'm ready. I want no record of this, do you understand, Tom?"

"Yes, ma'am." He understood, and while he was known to pass along a little gossip, he would never break her trust in this way, and she knew it.

A smile spread across his face as he finished scanning her. "Well congratulations Captain. So you and the big guy, huh?"

She looked at him completely baffled by what he was saying. "What?"

"Captain you're about 8 weeks pregnant, you've been back from _New Earth_ for a bit less than 8 weeks haven't you?"

"Excuse me?" Kathryn responded in disbelief.

"Oh, I'm sorry Captain." Tom suddenly felt embaressed and like he'd spoken out of turn. He didn't know the details, but he'd just assumed...

"No, you're right; I'm just surprised that's all." She started to feel light headed as the realization of what Tom said sank in, her legs wobbled and her vision blurred. Tom caught her and laid her on the couch. Sitting himself next to her he asked if she was alright and if he should go find Chakotay. "Oh Tom." She hadn't cried since _New Earth, _but then, she had been a virtual water works there. She fought the tears, but Tom knew they were there, just below the surface, he could see her pain. Tom offered her a hug and she accepted it. Glad to have someone hold her at that moment.

Just then Chakotay walked in. His rings had gone unheard, and as he got no response, he let himself in, telling himself he had to make sure she was alright.

"Chakotay…" Tom looked at him and glanced back at Kathryn who was now sitting up on the couch. She shook her head just slightly with her eyes begging,_ no. _She didn't want Tom to tell him.

"So you leave me in charge of the bridge so you can have your little moments with helmboy, so much for protocol. Excuse me." He said with obvious disgust. He did an about face and walked out leaving Tom and Kathryn alone.

"You can't say anything to anyone, Tom. I have to think about how I'm going to approach this. Promise me." She supplicated.

"I promise Captain." Good, now she had to do something about B'Elanna. B'Elanna would demand that Tom tell her what the end result of the medical exam had been, and Kathryn was sure she'd see right through Tom.

"Thank you, Tom. Now I just need to speak to B'Elanna and I'll get some rest, I promise. Please inform the bridge that I'm not to be disturbed unless it is an emergency." She was regaining her captain's composure.

"You got it Captain. Paris to Torres."

"Torres, here."

"Your turn." He said hoping she'd understand.

"Understood, I'll be right there."

Kathryn had decided that if she wanted to keep this to herself she had to inform the ship's gossips herself, and then swear them to secrecy; one down one to go. She told B'Elanna about the pregnancy and about _New Earth. _B'Elanna promised she wouldn't breathe a word to anyone, and at that moment Captain Kathryn Janeway made herself her first real friend on _Voyager_, well the first one she could girl talk with, anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Just a really short chapter, Life happens!**

Chakotay stormed down the corridor, not knowing where he was heading. That look they gave each other, ugh! How could she do this? For so long he thought it was her responsibilities that kept them apart. Her need to maintain her professionalism, protocol, her image as a leader; he had accepted these as the things that kept them from loving each other. Now, he wondered, had she had just strung him along as she made "playthings" out of other crewmembers? No, he couldn't believe that, could he? After a little while he realized he had been walking aimlessly. He needed to pull himself together and return to the bridge.

As he entered the bridge headed directly for his chair "Commander Chakotay, were you not going to give that report to the captain?" asked Tuvok. Looking down he noticed he still had the PADD with the systems reports in his hand.

_Damnit!_

The conversation with B'Elanna had not come easy for Kathryn. It had been a long time since she had spoken about personal matters with another female. She had some girlfriends, but as she rose through the ranks they become few and far between, and out here in the Delta Quadrant, she had none.

"B'Elanna I need to tell you something, but you have to keep it to yourself. Nobody but you and Tom will know, and I'll need you to keep it that way."

"Sure Captain." B'Elanna waited for Captain Janeway to go on. She took her time and B'Elanna could see how uncomfortable she was, and the difficulty she was having in finding words.

"Captain…"

"B'Elanna, I'm pregnant."

"Oh Captain, congratulations, that's ..." B'Elanna's stopped in the middle of her excitment when she saw her Captain's eyes fill with tears. "Captain, are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Captain Janeway was always "fine".

"Commander Chakotay's I presume?" B'Elanna made it sound like a question, but she really didn't need Kathryn to give her an answer.

"Yes." She said softly.

"The two of you haven't been getting along to well lately, is it because of the pregnancy?" B'Elanna's questions were getting personal and Kathryn showed her discomfort by looking away, but she remained calm.

"No, he doesn't know" then turning back to B'Elanna she spoke more forcefully, "and you are NOT going to tell him,  
understood?" It was her command voice she was using now.

"Of course, it is your place to tell him not mine." B'Elanna affirmed, then more softly asked, "So are you two together now?"

"Not anymore, didn't last long." B'Elanna wanted to ease the tension, but didn't know how, so she resorted to a wise crack she thought Tom might use.

"That's too bad; I always thought the old man would have some stamina." She said in a dry manner that was still an obvious attempt at humor. Kathryn was caught off guard, realizing it was a joke, but not expecting one, she laughed. She knew she shouldn't, and normally she wouldn't, but the events of the day seemed to require a little comic relief; she didn't know why but the laugh was exactly what she needed, so she laughed.

The rest of the conversation was a little easier. Once the laughter died down she sadly explained the situation to B'Elanna.

"Chakotay and I became romantically involved on _New Earth._ The whole relationship only lasted a little under eight hours."

"Why Captain? What happened?" B'Elanna was genuinely concerned.

"_Voyager _happened; she was returning for us." The lieutenant was trying to decipher what Kathryn's emotions were regarding the rescue, but the Captain was not about to let those feelings show.

"What I need, B'Elanna, is to make sure no one knows about this, not even the Doctor, even with doctor patient confidentiality programed in he still finds a way to tell everyone's secrets! I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this yet and I just want some time to figure out my approach. Can I count on you to keep this to yourself?"

"Of course, Captain, and I'm here for you if you need anything at all." With that B'Elanna gave Janeway a supportive hug, which actually surprised both women, as B'Elanna wasn't the touchy-feely type and Kathryn hadn't counted on B'Elanna offering her emotional support.

Surprised and touched Kathryn simply said "Thank you."

B'Elanna suddenly pulled away and asked, "Captain how are we going to get you prenatal care without the Doctor finding out?"


	4. Chapter 4

XXXXX

Chakotay left the bridge once again PADD in hand heading to the Captain's quarters, cursing under his breath. He decided that if he found that Tom was still there he was going to break his nose. Standing outside her quarters he hesitated, he didn't want to ring the door, he was afraid Tom really would still be there. Then it came, Kathryn's laughter, a sound that had so often filled his heart with joy on _New Earth_, but now it filled him with sadness, pain, anger, rage, so much rage. He was unaware that it was B'Elanna, not Tom that had made Kathryn laugh. He dropped the PADD outside her door and he headed to the holodeck. He brought up a boxing program. "Computer, add opponent named _The Paris Predator_, use scans of Lieutenant Tom Paris for visual image."

"New opponent _The Paris Predator _completed."

"Good! Now let's break his nose a few times." And with that Chakotay climbed into the ring, anger practically seeping from his pores, and ordering the computer to start the program, he began pummeling Tom Paris' hologram.

XXXXX

_Captain Proton was in stealth mode. Quietly slinking through the corridors of a, hostile, subterainian castle of sorts, determined to accomplish his mission of the day; provide lifesaving nourishment to a damsel in distress. She was being held captive in by an evil band of bridge trolls, locked away in the fanciest of troll caves, withering away without anything to eat but Andropogon plant stalks, food only fitting for trolls. Coming upon the door to her quarters he disabled the treacherously explosive safety locks with ease and tapped out his secret signal, which was really just_ - the door chime!

"Enter" answered a voice from inside. As Tom Paris, aka Captain Proton, walked in the person continued "Oh good it's you Lieutenant. I think I've come up with a solution to one of my issues."

"Really, let's hear it!" Answered Tom.

"Well I think that if I scheduled you to work in sick bay and assigned myself to beta shift every Wednesday that you could find a way to do a sort of "house call" on those days. That way you could do a prenatal scan and give me the prenatal vitamin hypospray at about 1000 hours. What do you think?"

"I'm way ahead of you Captain, I brought your first hypospray of prenatal vitamins with me today, and Wednesdays work for me." He said giving her a smile. He really was happy to do this for her. She had saved him. She didn't know it, well maybe she did, but she had changed his life for the better and he would be eternally grateful to her for that.

"Thank you Tom."

"Now let me run some scans, please, Captain." As he started scanning he continued, "you know Captain, you will eventually need the doctor to run some more complete tests. We have to check for genetic issues and other diseases and illnesses that can be corrected in the prenatal state. I can only do so much here."

"I know Lieutenant, but we still have some time, do we not?" Janeway knew how to get what she wanted and for now she wanted to avoid the Doctor.

"Yes, Captain, we do have some time, but eventually..." Answered Tom.

"I know Mister Paris" interrupted Janeway, "I'll handle it when the time comes. Thank you."

When Tom was finished with the Captain his Captain Proton fantasies continued as he exited her quarters.

_After providing the Voyaginin Queen Lifesaving nutrients Captain Proton set out in search of the beautiful Kingonese Princess whom had sent him on this mission of mercy. _

"What the hell are you doing here, Tom?" Barked B'Elanna, after working gamma shift she was none to pleased with being woken up so damn early.

"Well I thought you might want to know that I started the Captain's prenatal care today… as you and I are the only ones who know I thought … never mind, I'm sorry I bothered you."

"No, tell me, how's everything looking?" She said as she allowed in into her quarters. Keeping this secret was going to kill them, but at least they had each other to talk to about it.

"The Captain really needs to eat better, but I think everything is good for now. I'm going to work the alpha shift in sick bay every Wednesday and we have a standing weekly prenatal appointment in her quarters at 1000 hours. So I may need you to help me come up with excuses to leave sick bay every Wednesday." He filled her in on the details and asked for her help.

"Of course, this might be kind of fun. She really should tell him soon though." She meant Chakotay, of course. She was concerned that things were going downhill for the Captain and the Commander and that this secret would only make things worse.

"I know, I wouldn't be too happy about being the last to know if it were me."

"He won't be the last to know, Tom. Only you and I know, and we're keeping it that way!" It was more of an order than a statement. Tom looked at her curiously, he hadn't really notice how beautiful she was. Sure, he knew she was good looking, he knew who all the good looking females on board were, but this was different, she was truly beautiful.

"Hey, um… I'm going to go through the doctors files on Ensign Wildman's prenatal care and see if I can't figure out how get a holographic image of our baby." Tom thought B'Elanna would like that.

"_Our_ baby?" B'Elanna said half horrified, half confused.

"Yeah, we are the only ones who know, we're providing his or her care, in a way that kind makes him or her a little bit ours, too. It's not the same as a Mom or Dad, but he sort of belongs to us, don't you think, Auntie B'Elanna?" Tom was worried that he wasn't really making himself clear but he hoped B'Elanna understood.

B'Elanna smiled "I suppose you're right Flyboy." She had never seen Tom's sentimental side, and she liked it.


	5. Chapter 5

XXXXX

A few weeks later Kathryn paced her ready room contemplating her situation. She knew she was being ridiculous. Her image as a Starfleet officer had always been important to her but the crew was eventually going to know about her current state; all she could do was postpone their finding out. A wave of nausea and dizziness came over her. She made her way to her seat and lowered her head to her desk. The surface felt cool and smooth against her forehead, she welcomed the feeling.

"Doctor to Captain Janeway, please report to sickbay!"

Captain Janeway steadied herself and made her way to the turbolift. "Deck 5." She called out. She had taken all possible measures to avoid sickbay at all possible cost, but earlier Tuvok had not been well and she knew that this summons must be about him.

Tuvok was in danger of brain damage due to what appeared to be a repressed memory. A mind meld, to bring the repressed memory to the surface, was the only logical form of treatment. Being that Kathryn was the closest thing to family Tuvok had on _Voyager,_ she would be the one to meld minds with him. During their second attempt the Doctor discovered that the memory was really a hidden virus. Using bursts of thoron radiation he was able to destroy the virus and save both Tuvok and now Janeway, as her brain was melded to Tuvok's, from permanent brain damage.

As she and Tuvok left sick bay they discussed his memories of his time aboard the U.S.S. Excelsior. As they stepped into the turbo lift, Kathryn commented that now she felt as if she were a part of that era, Tuvok told her that she could be nostalgic for the both of them. The turbo lift doors closed behind them with a swoosh.

"I suppose you know my secret now." She stated plainly.

"Yes, Captain, during a mind meld we share many memories. I tried to direct my memories to only include those relevant to my medical situation. You do not have the discipline or experience to control which memories you share during a meld. I have seen your secret and I shall keep it as long as you decide it is to be a secret. I must inform you that I feel Commander Chakotay should be informed."

"Thank you, Tuvok." She said quickly. This was quickly becoming a very well-known secret and she found it unsettling.

They stepped out of the turbo lift and Tuvok went to resume his place at Tactical. Captain Janeway took easy and confidant strides to the doors of her ready room and called "Lieutenant Paris, could I see you for a moment." It really wasn't a question and she didn't wait for a response. She stepped into her ready room and took her place behind her desk.

From his seat her first officer clenched his jaw shut, closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He could hear and feel his own blood traveling in pulsating waves through his body. He had to control his anger, jealously, and hurt. For all he knew this was just an ordinary meeting for some mundane bit of ship's business. He wanted to believe that but his imagination just wouldn't quit. He had to stop it. Even the memory of her hand on Paris' shoulder made him want to cry out in agony, he couldn't allow himself to imagine Paris' hands on her.

"Are you feeling better, Tuvok?" Chakotay asked suddenly

"Yes, Commander."

"Good, you have the bridge." With that Chakotay left the bridge. He would busy himself with inventory in the cargo bay if he had to but he couldn't sit there and watch any more interactions between Kathryn and Paris. Somehow, however, instead of engaging himself in busy work he found himself in his own quarters, crying.

In her ready room Kathryn sat in her seat only long enough for Tom Paris to enter the room. She immediately stood up and began pacing the floor again. "Tom," she said and she begun to nervously wring her hands together, "do you know what the effects of thoron radiation are on a fetus?"

"I have no idea, Captain, I would have to look it up, why?" Tom's bewildered and concerned gaze met hers.

"The Doctor administered several bursts of thoron radiation to Tuvok in order to kill a virus that had infected his brain. We were in a mind meld that couldn't be broken and the virus jumped to me and the Doctor administered the radiation bursts to me as well." Janeway was obviously concerned, her body language proved as much, but her voice was steady.

"Wait, you didn't tell him about your condition before the mind meld! Captain…" Tom took a breath and tried to calm himself. He had been raising his voice to the Captain and he knew he had to regain his composure. "Captain…" he tried again, "I know you want to keep this a secret but putting yourself and your child at risk in order to do so is… well… irresponsible." He had said it. He was waiting for the backlash. He had no right to lecture any one on being responsible; he had lived his entire life shirking responsibility. For a few terrifying moments the room was very still and all he could hear was his own heart beating.

"I know Tom, I didn't foresee the need for any medication or even any kind of intervention during the mind meld." Janeway responded calmly The backlash didn't come, much to Tom's surprise. He continued to press his luck. "You didn't inform the Doctor afterwards either, otherwise you wouldn't be coming to me." Tom's stated in an accusatory tone.

"No I did not Tom. Enough people know. I need to tell Chakotay and I can't seem to figure out how I'm going to do that, but until I do, no one else is to find out." She continued to speak calmly, if there was one thing the Captain hated it was losing control of a situation and this one was getting away from her. "Oh, Tom, one more thing; is there anything you can do about the waves of nausea and dizziness?"

"Ah, morning sickness." He nodded his head. "I do know this one." He smiled. "I'll get you that treatment right away; however, I'm not sure how I'm going to explain the missing prenatal vitamins and antinausea medications to the Doctor. I hope you can give him the necessary explanations during the next inventory. I'll let you know what I find about the radiation."

"I'd appreciate it if you'd get started right away; I'll have someone else cover for you on the bridge. Thank you, Tom." With these words she stood and led him out of her ready room.

Walking out onto the bridge Kathryn quickly scanned the room for her first officer. "Tuvok, where is Commander Chakotay?"

"He did not specify where he was going when he left the bridge, Captain. Shall I locate him for you?"

"That won't be necessary, thank you." She decided to continue working, she had piles of reports and other PADDs to review; she would talk to him after the shift was over. It wasn't like Kathryn to come up with excuses to postpone what needed to be done but this situation was unique, and the fearless Kathryn Janeway was afraid.


	6. Chapter 6

XXXXX

An hour later Captain Janeway stood in her quarters waiting for Tom Paris. He said he had informed her that he found something and he needed to see her right away. She stood deep in thought, with her back to the door, leaning against her desk, with her fingers pinching the base of her nose. The door chime startled her out of her thoughts. "Come in." She called out. Tom Paris stepped in.

"I found something Captain."

"Go on."

"The amount of radiation the doctor used _shouldn't _have any long term consequences, however, there is a medication that helps reverse or prevent the effects of the radiation in the event of exposure. I did a little research and I came up with an appropriate dose, you know just to be safe." Tom took out the hypospray and when she gave him a small nod he applied it to her neck. Tom continued "I brought the anti-nausea medication as well. Just load 20 cc's into the hypospray, one dose a day should work just fine." He handed her the hypospray and the vials she would need to fill it with.

"Thank you, Tom." She said with a small smile.

"Now Captain," Tom's tone of voice changed and she knew she wasn't going to like what he was going to say next, "it's been a couple of weeks and you still haven't told the big guy. I think it's time you do that, and that you start getting the_ proper_ medical care, the care you and the baby need."

"I know Tom, but it's not that easy, I pushed him away, I kept my distance, I told him we couldn't be more. Now I'm supposed to say, oh by the way, I know we don't talk much but, you're going to be the father of my child whether you like it or not! You know he told me he wasn't ready to be a father. I feel so terrible. As if I'm forcing him into a life he never wanted. I don't want to do that." Her eyes welled up with tears and she hung her head down and stared at the floor.

For the second time that day Tom raised his voice at her. "Frankly Captain, that is not your call, a man has every right to know and make that decision for himself. I would want to know, and I would be furious if I was the _last_ to know. If a man has fathered a child he has the right to decide for himself if he is going to be there for that child, from before the child's birth." Tom closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry Captain but if it were me I'd want to be at the first prenatal appointment, the first imaging, I'd want to be there from the beginning, you are taking that away from him, and it's not fair."

Sitting in his quarter's Commander Chakotay realized that Harry Kim's neighbors were right. These Starfleet walls were much too thin. No wonder they complained about Harry playing his clarinet all the time. Chakotay could hear the voices coming from the Captain's quarters. It sounded like she was talking to Paris. Over the last few weeks he'd seen Paris coming or going from deck 3 on several occasions, he even saw him leaving the Captain's quarters once or twice, but he had never until now, heard them in there together. He was getting ready to leave when the tone of the conversation changed. They were arguing. He was trying to make out the words, he was eavesdropping. Chakotay wasn't sure what they were arguing about, but he was going to find out.

Chakotay traversed the short length of corridor between his door and the Captain's with a determined gait and clenched fists. He rang the chime and waited to be allowed in. "Come in." He stepped in and stood behind Tom. He could feel the tension that lingered in the air. The Captain had her back to the door, and after a few quick motions that indicated to him she was wiping away her tears she turned around.

"Commander." Was all she said.

"Excuse me, Captain, I think it's best if I go now. Let me know if you need anything." Tom stated politely then mouthed the words "tell him" to her before he turned around, nodded "Commander" at Chakotay and stepped out of the Captain's quarters. As he walked down the corridor he worried about the consequences his little outburst with the Captain would have,he didn't want to be confined to his quarters, but he also felt hopeful that maybe she would finally going to tell Chakotay and all the secretive nonsense could end.

As the doors to her quarters closed it was Chakotay that spoke. "Care to tell me what that was all about. Tell me Kathryn what makes a subordinate bold enough to yell at the Captain in her own quarters and not worry about it having any consequenses?"

"Chakotay, Tom didn't mean anything by it. It's complicated, sit down." She spoke softly and carefully, she didn't want him to see her fear.

"Enlighten me Captain." Sneered Chakotay.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. As she stood and walked around her desk to stand before him she stated "I'm pregnant Chakotay. Tom was just bringing me something for the nausea."

Chakotay was horrified. _She is having Tom's child!_ The thought infuriated him. "So is that what he was angry about? He thinks a man should have the choice to remain uninvolved. Is that it?" His voice was growing louder as well.

"I wouldn't force _any_ man to act as a father if he didn't want to, or didn't feel he was ready." Chakotay _had_ said he _wasn't_ ready for a child,she was going to respect that. Her eye were filling with tears, she was struggling to keep them from falling.

"So much for protocol and keeping that image of the ever proper Captain Janeway!" He yelled at her. "You didn't think about the consequences of bedding a man who had no interest in becoming a father. Do you climb into your subordinates' beds knowing you are nothing more than a fling or a conquest without considering the consequences of what you are doing?"

She realized what he was saying and she lost all control, she had been nothing to him, no better than a whore, his words wounding her more than she could ever have expected. The Captain and her composure were gone. Kathryn the hurt, angry, scared, and confused woman stood before him and before either one of them realized what she was doing, or had a chance to stop it, her hand came around and slapped him with all the force in her small body.

The sting on his cheek sent heat radiating from the point of impact. Anger took over and he reacted without thinking. He reached for the hand that slapped him and pulled it away, then grabbing her other arm he pushed her back fast and with enough force that a loud thud was heard at the moment her body made contact with the wall. He held her there for a second. She could feel his hot breath on her face as she turned away from him. Her body shook as the sobs escaped from her body. Her voice cracked as she spoke, trying to catch her breath between sobs, "Get out!"

At that moment Chakotay looked at Kathryn and he saw her scared, distraught and _vulnerable;_ she had never appeared so vulnerable to him before. A wave of remorse coursed through his body and he suddenly felt sick. As he released her arms he choked out the words, "I'm sorry." He slowly stepped backwards and away from her.

"Get out." She repeated but made no effort to move either towards or away from him. She didn't even use her comm badge to call for help. Kathryn simply slid down the wall and crumpled into a shaky, sobbing, lump on the floor. As he stepped out of the room Chakotay realized that he had never been so disgusted with himself in his entire life.

He had to find B'Elanna. "Computer, locate Lieutenant Torres."

"Lieutenant Torres is on Deck 2"

Bursting out of the turbo lift and onto Deck 2 he ran down the corridor towards the mess hall, assuming that the mess hall was her most likely destination. He was right. He caught her just before she entered. "B'Elanna, wait!"

B'Elanna turned toward him. She saw he was running wondered what the hurry was. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes." He answered out of breath.

"Is there a problem in engineering? Why didn't you comm me?" She asked, growing concerned.

"No, it's Kathryn, I need you to check on her." _Oh_ she thought, _why can't they just talk to each other?_

"Chakotay, I'm meeting Tom for dinner in 10 minutes, why can't you go check on her? It's about time you two patch things up anyway." B'Elanna rolled her eyes, exasperated with the whole situation.

"Tom? You can't date that loser B'Elanna! But we'll talk about that later. I can't go check on the Captain, B'Eleanna, she doesn't want to see me. We had a fight… I hurt her… I didn't mean to. Plaease B'Elanna, please, just check on her." Chakotay pleaded with her.

B'Elanna took in his words and started heading for the turbo lift with Chakotay. "Hurt her how Chakotay?" Chakotay looked away afraid to speak, afraid his voice would betray him. "Hurt her _HOW_? Did you insult her… break her heart… did… did you _hit_ her?"

Chakotay nodded, he supposed he'd done all of those things, he hadn't technically hit her, but he figured slamming her against the wall wasn't any better so it really didn't matter. B'Elanna stared at him a moment then broke into a quick jog, headed for the Captain's quarters, Chakotay trailing behind her.

In her room Kathryn laid on the floor sobbing for a while. The back of her head was throbbing and a sharp pain shot from her back through her abdomen and down her legs. Her eyes stung with tears, and her throat ached from struggling to breathe against the sobs. By the time finally pulled herself to a sitting position leaning her head against the wall she had stopped crying. She noticed a small smudge of blood low on the wall; she didn't know where it came from. She knew it was her blood but at the moment her whole body seemed to be screaming out in pain, so she didn't know which part of her was bleeding. She imagined that it must be from her heart. That's where the pain felt the worst.

B'Elanna burst through the door suddenly, startling Kathryn out of her thoughts. "Oh, Captain! Don't try to move." Chakotay stood at the doorway, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to another. He wanted to check on Kathryn himself but he was sure she didn't want him anywhere near her. B'Elanna tapped her comm badge and shouted,"Torres to Paris report to Captain's quarters, bring a med kit!"

Without hesitation Tom answered, "On my way."

XXXXX

"We need to get her to sickbay." By the way Tom's forehead crinkled and the tone of his voice B'Elanna knew that he was worried. He had run a scan, asked the Captain to describe the pain, run another scan, asked the Captain to try to move her legs and still was not satisfied with the results. "She has a small cut on her head, but the bump that came with it is worse than the cut itself, she may have a concussion. However, I'm more worried about the other bleeding. At this point she hasn't miscarried but the doctor really needs to be the one helping her now." Chakotay shifted again, he felt that sick feeling creeping into his body again. He had hurt her far worse than he had originally thought.

"B'Elanna, help me get her up." Tom and B'Elanna each took a shoulder and began to lift Kathryn off of the floor. Chakotay quickly stepped forward and, with one hand shoved Tom away from her, then leaned down and scooped Kathryn up into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest, hiding it from view. He glanced down at her for a moment then headed toward sickbay. Chakotay had pushed Tom so hard that he had to take a couple of steps back to keep from falling. When he steadied himself he saw the big guy heading out the door with the Captain in his arms and did the only thing he and could do, he joined B'Elanna as she followed them to sickbay.


	7. Chapter 7

**I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to leave their kind words. I hope you are all enjoying my crazy story. **

XXXXX

Kathryn had never felt so humiliated in her life. She wanted to pull away from him, to stand tall and walk out of the room on her own, but she couldn't. So she wrapped her arms securely around Chakotay's neck and hid her face in shame. She could already imagine the stories the crew would entertain themselves with. _The stern and strict Captain Janeway caused a scandal by getting knocked up then getting in a physical fight with her first officer, the guy who knocked her up in the first place. _She would never be able to reprimand anyone again. She was sure she'd lose the crew's respect as soon as word got around. What was worse, however, was that she'd lost Chakotay's respect, and his friendship.

She felt him shift her body slightly. She felt his strong arms supporting her, she breathed in his familiar scent; her mind drifted to their night together on _New Earth_. She would never have guessed that night would lead to this. She wished this embrace had been under different circumstances. She had hoped that he would have supported her plan to _have_ the baby, hoped that he would have taken her into his arms, held her and told her everything would be alright. _The baby. _Her baby had to be okay. She hadn't allowed herself to think of the baby now. Sure she had said she was pregnant, asked about effects of radiation on a fetus, but even in her own private thoughts she had never fully explored the idea of having a_ child, a baby_ and how being a _mother_ would changer her life. She was afraid. She knew telling Chakotay would make it all too real, and even when she thought she would have him there to comfort her, she had been afraid to face the reality of it all. Now, that she knew she was alone in this, she was terrified. How could she ever run a ship and be a mother? She knew nothing of raising children. How would she be able to work with Chakotay after this? What would she say to her child about his or her father? How would she explain his lack of involvement? Who would watch the child when she was on the bridge? She didn't know how she could do this, especially without him. She began to cry again, soft sobs this time. Chakotay could feel her body shaking, her erratic breathing against his chest, and the wetness from her tears soaking through his uniform. He misinterpreted these as signs of physical pain. "Oh, Kathryn, I'm so sorry. We're almost there; the Doctor will give you something for the pain." She didn't respond.

Chakotay set her down gently on the nearest biobed. "Doctor we need your help."

The Doctor walked over to Kathryn and as he started scanning her head slowly moving down her body, he asked, "What happen?"

B'Elanna and Tom gave each other anxious glances, both reluctant to accuse the ships first officer of assaulting the Captain. It was Kathryn who spoke, "I had a little… accident."

Chakotay took a deep breath and as he exhaled he said, "She was assaulted; thrown against the bulkhead."

"Who would do such a thing?" The Doctor sounded rather disturbed.

There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence, then slowly he spoke up. "It was me, I did it." Chakotay admitted his crime. He then tapped his combadge and called out, "Tuvok, please report to sickbay."

The Vulcan responded," On my way commander."

The Doctor stared incredulously at the commander for a brief moment, then continued scanning the Captain.

Well Captain, you have a concussion, you are pregnant, for now, and you've injured your sciatic nerve. I assume your experiencing a severe headache and pain from your lower back shooting down into your legs.

"Yes, Doctor, that's right. What do you mean for now?" Kathryn was concerned.

"You should have come to me sooner; you should have started prenatal care by now. But in answer to your question, obviously, the bleeding isn't good, and the possibility of miscarriage is quite high in the first trimester. While some light and occasional bleeding is normal in most cases and not of concern, your situation merits more caution. You see when a pregnant woman is injured the body will sometimes expel the fetus as a form of self-preservation, a good indicator that the body is prepared to do that is the bleeding I mentioned. My concern is that the bleeding began as a result of the injury and not just random light bleeding as is most often the case."

"What can be done to stop it?" Kathryn was suddenly afraid of losing her child, the same child she was so afraid of having.

"Well, Captain, the best thing is for you to take a few days off. I don't mean light duty and working from you quarters, either Captain, I mean complete bed rest, understood?" The Doctor was quite serious and spoke firmly.

"But, the child will be okay?" It was Commander Chakotay who spoke this time. He had to know the child would be okay, he couldn't live with himself if he caused the death of an innocent child.

"That has yet to be seen, Commander." Answered the Doctor.

Tuvok entered sickbay. "You wished to see me, Commander?"

"Yes Tuvok, the Captain will be taking some time off…" then turning to the Doctor he asked,"What do you think Doctor, 4 or 5 days, or will she need more?"

The Doctor, seeing that the Commander intended to enforce his orders for once happily responded, "I'll reexamine her in 4 days and determine if she can return to work then, or if more time will be needed."

"Looks like she'll need at least 4 days, Tuvok. Please make the necessary adjustments to the schedule. Also as you are the ships Chief of Security I am turning myself over to you. I assaulted the Captain and caused the injuries that she is getting treated for here today." Chakotay was prepared to take whatever punishment was necessary.

Tuvok looked over to Janeway, "Captain?" He waited for her orders.

"That won't be necessary Tuvok. Chakotay is free to leave."

"Captain! You can't allow a man to hit you what kind of message are you sending the women on this ship. Domestic violence is unacceptable." The Doctor announced his preprogramed subroutine's opinion on the matter, not that he would have disagreed if he had to come to his own conclusion.

"Captain, if what Commander Chakotay is saying is true then brig time is in order, as is loss of rank." Tuvok was ready to put Chakotay in the brig and keep him there.

"Tuvok, if Commander Chakotay struck me across the face and I responded by forcefully pushing him away from me and consequently into the bulkhead, would you charge me with assault?"

"No, Captain, if he struck you first, he would be guilty of assault, and you would be acting in your own defense."

"And if the roles were reversed, logically speaking, would it make a difference if the person striking first was a woman?" pressed Kathryn.

"No, Captain."

"Then you can charge me with assault, I struck the Commander first, he responded in his own defense." Kathryn concluded.

"Kathryn, no!" Now Chakotay was really agitated. "You can't be serious!"

Tuvok certainly didn't want to charge the Captain with a crime so he came to a _logical _conclusion. "Well, Captain, if neither of you wish to charge the other with assault, there is no conclusive evidence to prove which of you struck first, I'm afraid I cannot definitively find either of you guilty of a crime. However, as the Captain, you can order that Chakotay be confined to the brig until you feel he is no longer a threat to you, or any other member of the crew."

"Thank you, Tuvok; that won't be necessary." The Captain spoke in an even and well controlled tone.

"Well in that case, if it's okay with all of you, I'd like to finish treating my patient." With that Tuvok returned to the bridge and Tom and B'Elanna made for the door, but Chakotay pulled a chair up to the biobed Kathryn was laying on. B'Elanna noticed this and returned to the Captain's bedside.

"Captain, are you going to be okay?" She asked as her eyes involuntarily flashed over at Chakotay.

"I'm not going to hurt her B'Elanna!" Growled Chakotay.

"Yeah, and you weren't planning on throwing her against the bulkhead this morning either!" B'Elanna was obviously furious with him.

"I'll be okay B'Elanna. I promise not to slap him across the face, if he promises not to throw me across the room." Kathryn's voice had a bitter hint in it obviously intended for Chakotay and it cut into him like a sharp knife.

"Comm me if you need anything Captain." She walked away nervously, hoping that their fight was truly over.

"She'll have to be here for a few hours while the repairs to her sciatic nerve and her concussion are complete. After that you may want to transport her to her quarters, it's best she stays off of her feet."

"Thanks Doctor, I'll arrange a transport." Chakotay answered the Doctor then turned to the patient,"Kathryn, I really am sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I just reacted. I should have better control of myself. There isn't any excuse for what I did." Chakotay's voice was soft when he spoke. He contemplated what made him lose control. Jealousy, plain and simple, not the slap, the slap pushed him over the edge, but what had him right up against it was Jealousy. He never would have reacted that way to the slap if he hadn't already been on the edge. He hated the idea of her with another man. Then it came, the intermingling of guilt with the jealousy, merging together, leaving him desperate to fix everything. _She is having Tom's child, _he thought, _and Tom doesn't want to be involved. She was fighting with him and then I came along and made it worse. _

"With your words or your with your hands?" Kathryn asked. He looked up and found himself in her cold and steely glare.

"What?"

"You didn't intend for your words to hurt me, or you didn't intend to hurt me by throwing me against the bulkhead? Which was it Chakotay?"

"Okay, you're right I was angry and I wanted to hurt you, with my words only. I never intended to hurt you physically, and for what it's worth I am sorry for both. Kathryn, I promised to always be by your side and share your burdens. I haven't kept that promise, I added to your strain, your stress, and your pain, but I intend to do whatever I need to do to keep it from now on." He was determined to do just that. He would be there for her and her child in whatever capacity she would allow.

"No, Chakotay, you have no obligation to me. My burdens are my own. Fulfill your job as my first officer and I ask nothing more. Now, why don't you go back to the bridge, I'll be fine."

"No, you'll be restricted to your bed for the next four days, and if I'm not in the brig I'll be there making sure you stay in bed. " He stated in a very matter-of-fact manner.

"Oh, please don't tempt me to have you thrown into the brig, Chakotay."

"You'll have to have me dragged out of your quarters and I do mean it Kathryn. As far as I'm concerned I should be in the brig anyway." He was determined to punish himself, she knew this well. She had been doing the same thing to herself since the day she stranded the entire ship in the delta quadrant.

XXXXX

"So how's your confinement to quarters coming along." B'Elanna asked her friend.

"Well, it feels like I've been confined to my quarters. Seriously B'Elanna I just want to sneak out to at least _sneak a peek _at what's happening on my bridge." Kathryn's frustration was evident.

"Captain, you haven't even been on bed rest for a whole day yet." B'Elanna frowned, at the Captain's statement; it was typical Janeway.

"She's already tried to sneak out twice this morning." Came a voice from the living area.

"Are you eavesdropping Commander?" she didn't wait for his answer, "I've no privacy now B'Elanna."

"Not eavesdropping on purpose, Starfleet made these walls way to thin, _no one_ on this ship has any privacy." Chakotay's statement was a simple fact.

B'Elanna smiled a small sad smile. If she didn't know any better she might think that their banter was beginning to return to normal, but she did know better.

Kathryn lowered her voice to a hopeful whisper. "Maybe you can get him to go back to work and give me some peace."

"I've already told you, you'll have to have me dragged out of here by security, and I'll just keep coming back until they throw me in the brig." Chakotay was determined to stay. She thought he was determined to drive her crazy. "I'm preparing the Captain's lunch B'Elanna would you like something to eat?"

"No, I just wanted to come by and check on the Captain. I'm meeting Tom for lunch today." B'Elanna answered quickly; she knew Chakotay didn't want her seeing Tom. "He insists on taking me to lunch any time Ensign Bristo's lunch hour overlaps with mine."

Kathryn chuckled, "Well he's hoping for more than friendship with you. You can't blame him for being a little jealous B'Elanna, Ensign Bristo has been following you around like a puppy dog for months."

Chakotay was baffled, how could Kathryn talk that way about the father of her unborn child? Maybe what Kathryn and Paris had was purely physical; that thought didn't make him dislike Paris any less.

"Oh no, Captain, not you too? That's exactly what Tom keeps saying."

"Let's just say I like to know what is going on with my crew B'Elanna. I eavesdrop in the mess hall and watch the interactions between crew members from my quiet little corner. I know a lot more than you'd think." Kathryn's mischievous smile played on her lips and her eyes shone with untold secrets.

B'Elanna laughed, "Oh Captain, I'll get some plans together for a slumber party with a few of the girls if you promise to spill your secrets."

Kathryn knew she was teasing but given how board she was, she was tempted to go along with it. "Which girls? I'll have to approve the final invitations."

"Always the Captain!" B'Elanna was glad to see the Captain in a better mood. "Well I'd better go before Tom starts intimidating Freddy Bristo. Oh! Tom said he would come by after lunch; he said he had a surprise for you."

"What is it?" Kathryn asked.

"Sorry Captain, I only spill at slumber parties. I'll see you tomorrow."

XXXXX

_Captain Proton's previous visit to The Voyaginin Queen had been detected he, therefore, had to take a different approach this time. He discovered secret venting tunnels, barely large enough crawl through, that connected major sections of the castle. One in particular would deposit him just outside of the fancy cavern the Queen was being kept in. With his pack of life saving medical and nutritional supplement slung over his shoulder he navigated the dizzying cluster of perilous tunnels, mindful of his need to remain quiet and go undetected. After what seemed like miles of tunnels he climbed out of the tunnels and onto the corridor adjacent to the Queens cave. He approached quietly and tapped out the secret code once again, as the door opened and he stepped in he found –The King of the bridge trolls! _

"Commander Chakotay! I'm here to see the Captain." Tom announced the obvious.

Noticing the beads of sweat on Tom's brow and how he was slightly out of breath Chakotay asked, "What the hell's wrong with you Tom? Did you run here?"

"I might have crawled through a Jeffries tube or two." Tom really didn't want to elaborate any further.

"Come in here, Tom." Kathryn called out from the bedroom.

"How's my favorite patient?" Tom asked playfully. "I brought your prenatal vitamins and I'd like to run a scan to see how you're doing if you don't mind."

"Go ahead, Tom."

After a moment of scanning Tom seemed satisfied. "Ok, I just wanted to make sure everything was good before I tried this." Then somewhat nervously directed his attention at Chakotay, whom was lingering at the door, "maybe you should check this out too Chakotay." Then with some minor adjustments his medical tricorder began emitting quick, rhythmic, thumping sounds. He smiled at Kathryn, "That's your baby's heartbeat."

"Oh, Tom!" Kathryn threw her arms around Tom laughing through her tears.

Chakotay slunk back into the living area and quietly slid onto her couch. This was a family moment, a moment for Kathryn and Tom. He felt like Tom was rubbing salt in the proverbial wound. He wanted to feel happy for Kathryn, happy that Tom had been there with her for that moment, but that would take more effort than he could give at that moment. It took all his effort to keep his own tears from falling.

That's not all," Tom was glad that he had made the Captain happy. "I'm working on creating a hologram of the baby using the tricorder. The Doctor can do it, but he says it's not necessary and it is standard practice to only provide the service once during a pregnancy, unless it is otherwise deemed medically necessary." He said obviously mocking the doctor. "I think I should have it by next week."

"Oh thank you, Tom. Is B'Elanna helping you with it?" Kathryn was glad B'Elanna had let this be a surprise.

"No ma'am, this is one gift that is solely from me to you. I want to do this for you myself." He grinned at her and said, "Well, I'd better get back to sickbay before I get put on report for being late back from lunch."

She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, then said playfully "Don't you worry about that, I know the ship's Captain she might owe me a favor or two."

He said goodbye to her then stood and walked back to the living area. He spotted Chakotay on the couch and approached him, "How's she eating?"

"Not well enough, but if you are so concerned you are welcome to come feed her yourself." Chakotay's hostility toward Tom Paris was unmistakable.

"Easy Commander, I didn't mean anything by it. Just take care of her, please." Chakotay was now completely confused and thoroughly angered. They had, he thought, the strangest relationship he had ever seen, and that was saying something!


	8. Chapter 8

XXXXX

"Chakotay, please let me leave!" She was obviously feeling better and Kathryn Janeway had never been one to sit around doing nothing. "I can't stand it anymore."

"Come on Kathryn it hasn't been that bad. Since you were released from sickbay _yesterday _B'Elanna has visited, Tom has visited,Tuvok came by to make sure we hadn't killed each other. You know he just wants to avoid the extra paper work. " The joke wasn't all that funny and Kathryn just stood in the doorway of her bedroom giving him an impatient stare. She had changed out of her sweatpants and t-shirt and now stood in full uniform.

"You know I'm only stuck here because I don't want you thrown into the brig. One call and Tuvok would have you confined for the rest of our journey, and I could again roam _my_ ship as I please."

"And it would be the first time anyone saw a Vulcan smile, but you won't do it Kathryn Janeway."

"Why won't I?" She challenged.

"You have a soft spot for me." He gave her a mischievous grin. She wasn't sure how to react, it had been a long time since they had teased each other in that way. "I'll make you a deal, you let me carry you to where you want to go and I will take you there." She rolled her eyes at his suggestion.

"You are impossible." She threw her hands up in the air as she said it.

"I suggest you get back in bed so I don't have to take you there myself." Chakotay said with a sly grin. They were still arguing when they heard the door chime.

"Now I'll get scolded for not keeping you in bed! I might get escorted to the brig for failing to keep the Captain safe. I'll be accused of dereliction of duty!" Chakotay continued.

"Enter." Called the Captain.

"Hello, Harry. To what do I owe this visit?" Kathryn greeted the young ensign.

"Are you okay, Captain?" Harry's face was serious.

"Yes, Harry I'm fine. Come sit. What's troubling you?" She could read the worry on his face.

"There are stories… Captain people are saying… Is it true…" Harry just couldn't finish a sentence.

"Ok Harry what's the scuttlebutt?" Ordered the Captain.

"The what?"

"I've been spending too much time with Tom, it's a twentieth century military term for rumors or unconfirmed intelligence, gossip or something to that effect. Just give me the stories you've heard." She hoped the stories weren't as bad as she had imagined them.

"Well Captain, one story is that the Commander is either guarding you while you're confined to quarters for some sort of crime, or that he's holding you hostage." Harry Kim carefully eyed Chakotay as he spoke.

"Well I suppose neither of those things are completely true or completely false, right Commander?" As she asked for his confirmation she turned to look at him and he saw the amused look on her face. He would play along with her.

"I'd have to agree, Captain, not entirely true, not entirely false. But don't worry Harry, I treat my captives well." Chakotay said with a smile.

"What else Harry?" Kathryn urged him to continue and even though Harry knew he was being toyed with a bit, if the Captain asked he answered, and he didn't think they would outright lie, even in jest.

"Well there are rumors that you caught the Commander cheating on you with another woman, a fight broke out, and you were injured and ended up in sickbay." Harry looked down at the Starfleet carpeting as he told them this story, his face was the color of a red ripe tomato.

"Commander?" Kathryn called out playfully.

"Yes, Darling?" Chakotay was enjoying this more than Kathryn was.

"Were you with another woman yesterday?" She asked with feigned seriousness.

"No Dear."

"Are you cheating on me Sweetheart?" Kathryn asked sweetly.

"No Captain, I would never do that."

"Besides Harry, I'd like to think I could hold my own in a cat fight." The Captain was obviously having fun with him.

"So the two of you _are_ a couple then?" Harry looked scared as if the question might cause one of them to pull a phaser on him.

"Chakotay, my memory may be faulty, but l don't believe we are currently involved in a romantic relationship? Are we?"

"Not that I'm aware of my love."

Harry frowned, bothered that they were playing games with him.

"Lighten up Harry, that's an order." Chakotay was smiling at him. "We may be having a little fun with you, but so far everything we've said is true."

"Someone also said that the Commander beat you up so bad that he had to take you to sickbay, and now you're hiding in your quarters and he's in the brig." The room fell silent for a few tense seconds.

Kathryn broke the silence, "Well Harry, you can see that the Commander is not in the brig. He's here guarding me while I serve my time in my quarters, and he's proven quite effective at it. He's thwarted at least three of my attempts at escape but you know what they say Harry, you can't stay awake forever." With this she gave him a smile and a wink. Chakotay shook his head and laughed out loud. This actually put Harry at ease. The Captain and the Commander were getting along again and there was no way she would be so cheery if she was really being held against her will.

"If you don't mind my saying Captain, you are acting very… unlike yourself." Harry stumbled on his words.

"I just don't like to be cooped up in here, Harry. I need something to do. I'm bored out of my mind." She complained.

"Well as your warden I get to schedule the day's activities and I say nothing looks good for the entire day! Now if you don't mind Harry the Captain needs to stay on schedule. Thank you for coming by. I'm sure the Captain would appreciate an update on tomorrows, uh, _scuttlebutt, _so keep your ears open and we expect your report at 1600 hours tomorrow." With this Chakotay shooed the young ensign out the door.

Chakotay knew that Kathryn wasn't entirely kidding when she said she's sneak out at night. Her first night in her quarters she was still in pain and afraid of moving too much but tonight would be different. With this in mind he made himself comfortable on her couch. When she saw him stroll out of her bathroom in nothing but a pair of sweatpants she gasped. "What are you doing?" She admired his well-muscled back as he moved away from her toward her couch.

Picking up his blanket from small side table he spread it on the couch and said, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting ready for bed, you should do the same." He gestured at her. She looked down at her clothing. She was still wearing her uniform pants and turtleneck. He stood there waiting; he would stand there all night if he had to. She sighed and went to change.

She decided to put on a short silky blue nightgown with spaghetti straps, she brushed her hair and left it down, the way she knew he liked it. She walked out of the bathroom slowly and asked, "Better Commander?"

Chakotay stood staring at her dumbfounded for a moment. "Uh, um yeah. You should get some rest." He turned away from her and quickly made his way to the couch.

He heard her moving in the dark. At first he thought she was finally asleep as she had been still for a time, but now he heard her coming out of the bedroom into the living area. He kept still expecting her to make her way to the door. He would stop her before she got out but, for now, he'd let her think he was asleep. He was surprised when she went directly to him instead of the door. She slowly and cautiously sat down on the floor next to him, leaned herself against the couch, with her head resting on his shoulder, then she slowly and gently ran her fingers down his arm. He could feel her tears sliding on his skin, yet she was perfectly quiet. He caught her hand in his and asked. "Kathryn, what's wrong?"

"I don't know, I just want… I need… I…" She sighed, "Will you hold me?" She asked, her cry now evident in her voice. Chakotay adjusted his pillow, moved his body to a semi-sitting position, and dropped one leg to the floor, making room for her to lie down. He pulled his blanket back and she placed her head on his chest and lay on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her and she cried herself to sleep in his arms.

"Uhh Umm!" The sound of someone clearing their throat woke them as the turned to see Tom Paris standing in the room grinning with Tuvok standing just behind him. He looked them over quickly and saw the Captain laying on Chakotay's naked chest with her bare legs sticking partially out of their blanket. He turned around to give them some privacy.

"Mister Paris, how dare you enter my quarters unannounced!" The Captain was mortified at being found that way.

"I rang the chime Captain, for several minutes. I had to get Tuvok to override your door lock, to make sure you two were okay, but before he did that he tried the chime too."

"My presence is no longer required here, I will be on the bridge Captain." Tuvok was unaffected as ever as he walked out the door and it closed behind him.

Kathryn quickly wrapped the blanket around herself, remembering how revealing her nightgown was, then went to her room to grab a robe. Upon returning she said, "You can turn around now Tom. To what do we owe this early morning visit?"

"Before we get down to business Captain, you two crazy kids do know there is a perfectly good bed in the next room, right?" Tom grinned at them. Chakotay tensed up and glared at him.

Kathryn firmly said, "Tom." And gestured with her right hand, a signal for him to get on with business.

"Well Captain, first off, the doctor wanted me to run some scans with some new tests he's programed in to the tricorder."

"You just scanned me yesterday, Tom."

"Yes, but the doctor doesn't know that."

"Tom, did you give him any of the other scans you've done? You must have taken at least a dozen by now, including the ones of… the other day." She glanced cautiously at Chakotay when she said the last part. Chakotay was standing a few feet behind, and to one side of Kathryn, not moving or joining in the conversation, just watching them and listening. It made Kathryn nervous to see him so still, it reminded her of a predator, about to strike its prey.

Tom either didn't notice or chose to ignore it. As he scanned her he replied, "If you recall, I was under very specific orders from my Captain to keep the whole thing top secret. I wasn't sure if the top secret status had been removed yet, Captain." As he said this he glanced over at Chakotay. She noticed and responded to his unspoken inquiry.

"It's fine Tom."

Chakotay was trying to control his feelings; she had kept a secret with Tom Paris not about Tom Paris.

"Tom's been providing me with prenatal care since the day I found out I was pregnant, I didn't want to go to the doctor, I didn't want anyone to know until I'd had a chance to talk to you." She looked nervously at Chakotay, remembering his reaction when he found out she was pregnant.

"All finished, looks like you're doing great Captain." Then returning to the previous conversation Tom continued, "And the Doctor is still looking for your medical tricorder Captain. He's driving himself crazy trying to reconcile his inventory lists." Tom chuckled.

"Tom! You stole the tricorder from sickbay! Why didn't you just replicate one?" He could tell the Captain wasn't as angry as she was trying to sound.

"I had a romantic dinner planned with B'Elanna, even though she didn't know it yet. Captain I needed my rations." Tom answered playfully. "Besides, my Captain was ill and didn't want, what was it B'Elanna said -_a line of senior officers at your door ready to drag you to sickbay." _You wouldn't have wanted me to leave a trail of evidence would you Captain."

"B'Elanna told you she blackmailed me into letting you examine me." Kathryn shook her head.

"And it's a good thing she did blackmail you, Captain. Where would the little guy be without Auntie B'Elanna and Uncle Tom looking out for him? You probably still wouldn't be getting prenatal care." Kathryn smiled at Tom's affectionate words then suddenly she had tears flowing down her cheeks.

"Tom, you're not telling me that it's a boy are you!"

"Ahh! No Captain, the DNA information on the scans could tell us if it's a boy or girl, but I haven't checked it. The scanner only alerts us in the event of abnormalities. Do you want me to check?"

"No. Not yet, maybe I'll wait until the hologram, we'll know then."

Chakotay's head was spinning. This placed all his previous assertions in doubt.

"Captain, are you okay?" Tom was distressed at the sight of his Captain in tears.

"I don't know why this keeps happening to me, I can't seem to go half a day without crying, this isn't like me." Kathryn cried even harder.

Tom laughed realizing what was happening. "It's the pregnancy hormones Captain. In early pregnancy they can cause nausea, but throughout the pregnancy they can cause mood swings, sudden bouts of happiness or sadness; women have been known to burst into tears for no reason at all, they cause food cravings and aversions, and changes in sexual appetite." At this Tom glanced over at Chakotay, then quickly back down at a PADD he brought with him.

"That explains last night." Kathryn said softly. She was referring to how emotional she had become but Tom assumed it was something entirely different.

"Oh." He said smiling at Chakotay.

"No, not _that_ Tom! The crying!" The Captain clarified understanding what Tom was thinking.

Chakotay stepped forward angrily and said, "I think you need to show a little more respect to your Captain, Mister Paris."

"No disrespect intended. I'm sorry Captain."

"It's alright Chakotay." Kathryn looked at the PADD in Tom's hand and inquired, "What's this?"

"Well Captain, again, no disrespect intended, but I had planned to discuss it with the Commander, you're not supposed to be involving yourself in work related matters. You should go lay down now, the Commander and I can discuss this in here. Chakotay?"

Now even Tom was sending her to bed, she frowned at him, "I think I'll just sit down right here, that is if my sitting is okay with you Mister Paris." Captain Janeway's tone was one of a command presence, and neither man was going to challenge it.

"We will be traveling past a planet called Akritiri. I was hoping we could visit their market place and see if we can exchange any goods. Maybe, trade some leola root for something more edible. Tuvok said the plan was acceptable but I thought that I should run it by you Commander, just so you are aware of what is going on."

"Can I see the PADD with the planetary specifics, Mister Paris." She saw them both starting to object. "It can't hurt me just to read the damn thing! Besides you said I was looking great." The Captain always wanted to know what her people were being sent into.

"We won't be arriving for a couple of days, Captain, you should be back on the bridge by then." Tom reassured her as he handed her the PADD.

"Thank you, Mister Paris, we'll look it over and issue our opinion on the matter." Chakotay was dismissing him.

"I'll see you tomorrow Captain." Tom said, then added, "I'm really glad the two of you have made up. No lack of respect intended but… you really should wait until the doctor clears you before engaging in sexual activity, just to make sure the baby is safe." And with that Tom Paris walked out.

XXXXX

_Chakotay's could feel the soft, cool soil giving way gently beneath his feet as he found his way through the lush green foliage. He came to a clearing just before the edge of a small cliff overlooking the ocean. Sitting on a large rock, staring out at the ocean, was his father. "You are troubled my son."_

_"Yes father."_

_"Tell me."_

_"I am in love with a woman who is my superior on our ship. We were separated from our ship and crew, stranded on an isolated planet, and we joined to each other in love."_

_"And that is a problem?"_

_"No, not exactly. We were rescued by our crew and resumed our positions in command. We separated our lives again."_

_"This pains you."_

_"Yes, deeply but there is more. A few weeks after we returned I was certain she had betrayed our love with another man. I now know she is expecting a child. I was, at first, convinced that the child was that other man's, but now I am unsure of everything I thought I knew."_

_"Did you catch her joined to him in intimacy?"_

_"No."_

_"In a passionate kiss?"_

_"No."_

_"Did she admit to intimacy or love with this other man?"_

_"No father."_

_"Has he claimed her as his mate, or she him?"_

_"No father!"_

_"Then what made you believe that she had been untrue to the love in your hearts?"_

_"I saw them embrace. She held him close to her, like she could never do with me while on our ship."_

_"Son, our hearts cannot be led by jealousy. Jealousy cannot know peace."_

_"I'm afraid father. I'm afraid to hope for something that isn't mine to have. If I love this child and I am not the child's father… the child's father may claim him and take him from me, or I may resent the child even if it is no fault of his or her own."_

_"Son, you have created obstacles for yourself. You have no reason to fear. If this is your child you should allow yourself to love it. If you love the child's mother you will feel her spirit in the child's spirit and love the child as well and even if he is not your own, he will be."_

_"Find peace my son."_ Chakotay emerged from his vision quest sitting in the living area of Kathryn Janeway's quarters.

He looked in on her and found that she was still napping. Find peace. He found peace at Kathryn's side once before, he must find it again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry this should have been at the end of Chapter 8. Instead it's a reall short Chapter 9. Next update may take a while. Sorry.**

XXXXX

Chakotay readied himself to sleep on Kathryn's couch. This would be the last night he stayed with her if the doctor cleared her for duty, and there was no reason to think that he wouldn't.

The rumor mill was churning full speed ahead and Kathryn wanted to get back out on the ship and be seen so that some of those rumors would die down.

Chakotay fixed his blanket and pillow and went to check on Kathryn. She emerged from the bathroom in the silky blue nightgown and her hair brushed down again. He stared at her and stuttered as he tried to pay her a compliment. She smiled when she took in his reaction, regaining her composure, she thought to herself:_ Tom must be right about the pregnancy hormones!_ He said goodnight and quickly returned to the couch.

He laid in the dark for what seemed like ages. He hoped she would come to him again. He had lost hope of holding her for the night and started to nod off when he heard her. This time she whispered to him, "Chakotay are you asleep?"

"No, I was just waiting for you." Chakotay replied honestly.

"That's not funny."

"I wasn't joking, come on lay down." He pulled the blanket back for her.

She laid on him just like the night before. "Thanks, Chakotay."

"So tomorrow, when I'm not here are your pregnancy hormones going to send you out to find random warm bodies to lie next to?" He said it in a soft light-hearted manner, so that she'd know it wasn't an accusation.

"No, just yours." She said trying to stifle a yawn.

"So it's becoming a bad habit. I think I like this bad habit." He smiled at the thought of her sneaking off to his bed at night.

"Really? It's what got us into this mess in the first place remember." She said as she drifted off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thought I'd try and get one more in. Next one might be about a week. Hope you're enjoying the story.**

XXXXX

Chakotay was assaulted by a mixture of intense emotions. He laid there thinking things over for several minutes. Had she really said what he thought she said? Thinking back it certainly made more sense than his jealous theory had. Tom's visits to her quarters were explained. Most things were explained. He felt a jolt of exhilaration as the idea of becoming a father played through his head. Then, suddenly, the icy cold fingers of guilt and regret squeezed at his heart; the things he'd said to her when she told him about the pregnancy, he deserved the slap, he deserved worse, had he witnessed anyone else speaking to her that way he would have worked them over himself. She didn't deserve his reaction to the slap, a reaction that could have killed his own child. He was dizzy, sick, with cold sweat on the back of his neck, his heart was pounding in his ears, he was being strangled by anger toward himself. He slid out from under her, slowly, doing his best not to wake her; he couldn't breathe he had to get out of that room.

XXXXX

Kathryn suddenly felt like she was lost and missing something important. She lifted her head and looked around, it took her a moment to remember where she was. She was on the couch in her living quarters, and she was alone. It was early yet but there was not poing in trying to go back to sleep; she decided to get ready for the day. She sat up and ran her hand along her pillow, where Chakotay's head had been when she fell asleep, and with a small sigh she rose. She could feel the emotions rising within her and the desire to cry, _again_!_ Damned hormones! _She thought.

The Captain strolled into sick bay to the sounds of an ongoing conversation. "I really can't imagine where it could have gone. No one has checked one out, the medical kits all have the ones that correspond to them, I simply don't understand!" The Doctor was going on while Tom Paris stood there enjoying the Doctor's despair far too much.

"Are you looking for this Doctor?" Kathryn handed the Doctor a medical tricorder.

"Why, yes, where did you find it?" The Doctor was puzzled

"In my quarters."

"What was it doing there?"

"Assisting the Captain, Doctor. Now could you please clear me for duty, I have a ship to run." She responded sharply.

As the Doctor began his scan Tom spoke, "I hope you don't mind that I wanted to be here Captain… where's Chakotay, I thought he wasn't letting you out of his sight until the Doc cleared you?"

"I don't know Tom, he was gone this morning. It's alright; he doesn't have to be here." He could see the sadness in her eyes even though her facial expression revealed nothing.

"Computer, locate Commander Chakotay." Tom demanded.

The computer responded, "Commander Chakotay is in holodeck 2." Tom left sickbay intending to have a few words with Chakotay.

A few minutes later Tom and Chakotay materialized in sickbay. "I had to have him transported; I couldn't drag him all the way." Tom immediately started grabbing medical tools, he handed the doctor a tricorder, and started working with a dermal regenerator to fix the mass of swollen flesh that had been Chakotay's face.

"What happened?" Kathryn jumped off of her own biobed and ran to Chakotay's side. She let out a cry at the sight of his bloodied, distorted face. The lumps of swollen flesh were shiny and unnaturally black and all shades of blues. His eyelids were swollen baseballs blocking access to his eyes; his mouth bulging and bloody with asymmetrical lumps on either side. He would have been unrecognizable if it weren't for his tattoo.

"He was fighting with himself all night." Tom quipped

"This is no time for jokes Mister Paris." The Captain admonished.

"It's no Joke Captain! He programed himself in as a boxing opponent, took the safety protocols off, and as far as I can tell he fought with himself all night; the program was still running when I walked in." Paris' explanation didn't make Kathryn feel any better. He was punishing himself again, she thought. She had been convinced he had worked through that; he had seemed okay the day before.

"How bad is it Doctor?" Worried for her warrior she didn't bother to hide her distress.

"He'll live, Captain," then mumbling he said, "barely." And continued, "By the way your scans were fine you're free resume your duties. The Commander, however, might be here a while." Feeling as if she was being shooed away she frowned at the Doctor.

"Doc, I was going to the planet surface today, I can only stay a few minutes more, what can I help you with while I'm here?" Offered Tom.

"I've got it Lieutenant Paris, you can leave too." The doctor responded briskly.

Kathryn hesitated, Chakotay needed her but her ship and needed her too. "Keep me informed, Doctor."

Kathryn returned to the bridge, she asked for status updates, collected reports and piled them high on her desk. She then made a point of visiting all the ships departments. She was distinctly aware of the hush that came over the crew when they saw her and of all the eyes that followed her. The rumors must have been worse than Harry reported, but the Captain went along naturally, asking crew members for updates and reports, as if she didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.

On her way to the mess hall for lunch Kathryn stopped by sick bay for an update from the Doctor and found Chakotay calling her name. "He's not fully conscience Captain, he took some severe blows to the head and face. I've been working on some of his more severe injuries in order to prevent permanent damage to his brain, but the broken nose and cheek bones have had to wait. I worked on his jaw just enough so he can speak but with all the tissue damage in his face I'm not sure why he'd want to."

Chakotay grumbled something that sounded like, "Kathrun… siry… prees … Kathrun."

"He's incoherent Captain, I'll give him another sedative, It's better he keep still for now." The Doctor looked from Chakotay to the Captain. "Shall I check your vital signs Captain? It's not good for you to experience high levels of stress in your state."

"I'm the Captain of a starship Doctor, stress is part of the job." She managed a small smile that didn't quite match the rest of her face. She leaned down close to Chakotay's ear and whispered to him, "What were you thinking? I need you to get better, I need my first officer. That's an order Commander." She kissed the side of his face and straightened up. After a moment of gathering herself and dabbing at tears that hadn't quite fallen, she headed out to the mess hall for lunch.

She chose to sit in her usual quiet corner of the room, watching, as she usually did. She didn't get much gossip that day because it didn't take long for people to notice her sitting there. Neelix hovering around her offering her food items and asking her a barrage of questions regarding her health and whereabouts didn't help either. Everyone in the room was trying to eavesdrop on _her_ conversation instead of engaging in their own. She gave up on lunch in the mess hall and decided to go back to the towers of PADDs in her ready room. She spent the afternoon going over diagnostic and personnel reports; she worked until the early evening hours.

XXXXX

Kathryn Janeway entered sickbay and with her smooth quick steps almost seemed to glide over to Chakotay. "How are you feeling Commander?"

"Like I went 12 rounds with a Toskanar dog." Responded Chakotay.

"Close, more like 12 rounds with an angry Native American warrior." Her disapproving tone lingering in the air between them.

"Oh, you heard." Chakotay looked down at his hands. "Kathryn we really need to talk. I've been… well I've… I got it all wrong Kathryn. I'd like to talk; Dinner, tonight?" He asked hopefully.

"What if we just get you back to your quarters and go from there, Commander." Her voice was soft and cautious.

"Doctor," Captain Janeway turned to face the EMH that was obviously eavesdropping, despite his attempts to look busy, "is the Commander free to leave?"

"Yes, Captain but I'd like to see him, again, in a couple of days. Just to make sure everything has healed correctly."

"Understood, Doctor." The order was acknowledged and the Doctor was happy, twice now a member of the Command Team would be making the other member comply with the Doctor's orders, this must be a record of some sort.

Kathryn entered Chakotay's quarters with him and was suddenly uncomfortable. "I should go, you're fine and I don't need to be_ your_ warden you aren't confined to quarters." She smiled at him as she spoke.

"No, we need to talk. Things got… confused. You need to know, it's important. We've had a serious misunderstanding and I don't want that to happen ever again." Chakotay didn't want to take any chances. He wanted to clear things up right away. "If you prefer it we can do this in your quarters, but we have to talk."

"Okay Chakotay, we can talk, but just know that I don't expect anything, and about the last two nights, I am sorry I was just feeling… emotional. It won't happen again. You made it clear how you felt about me coming to your bed, the night I told you I was pregnant. If you tolerated me because you felt guilty about hurting me you don't need to worry anymore, I'm fine now."

"Oh Kathryn, that's not what I meant, I mean… I was wrong… I was confused… I was a jealous old fool! I want you to come to me… anytime..."

"Bridge to Janeway, please report to the bridge Captain, we have a situation." Tuvok's voice cut in, interrupting one of the most important conversations of Chakotay's life.

"On my way!" answered the Captian.

"Oh spirits! Wait…" Exclaimed Chakotay as he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her back, "I love you, Kathryn Janeway, even if I've been too stupid to show it." He took her in his arms and dipped her over-dramatically and gave her a passionate kiss. After a few moments he released a very stunned Captain Janeway and said, "Now let's get to the bridge and find out what the hell is going on."


	11. Chapter 11

"Captain has there been any word on Harry and Tom?" B'Elanna Torres inquired anxiously.

"No B'Elanna nothing at all." The grief was clear in the Captains voice.

"We have to find them Captain. We can go down and help in the search."

"B'Elanna, we aren't getting their bio readings on sensors, the planet surface is in chaos and the Akritirian Embassador promised to keep us informed as long as we stay off the surface while they investigate. I know it's hard to sit still at a time like this, but right now it's what we need to do." Kathryn responded trying to achieve a delicate balance between Captain and friend. She wanted to be supportive of B'Elanna's plight, but she made her decision as the Captain.

In three days and there had been no word on Harry and Tom. When the planet they had been visiting what rocked by a terrorist attack _Voyager _had been quick to scan for, and retrieve all the members of their crew, all except for Harry and Tom. Nicoletti, Carey, Jenkins, Bristo, Kes, and Neelix had all been far away enough from the explosion to be completely ignorant of the event when _Voyager _executed its emergency beam outs.

Captain Janeway was in full command mode when the Akritirian Ambassador finally made contact. The news was not good. The Ambassador informed her that not only were her two missing crewmen charged, convicted, and imprisoned for the terrorist bombing, but that _Voyager _was going to be impounded and the entire crew arrested. Although relived that Kim and Paris were alive she wasn't about to let her ship be taken or the rest her crew arrested; she led her crew to escape and set out to find the real terrorists. She wanted her people back and if that meant solving the crime herself, so be it.

She paced in her ready room with her first officer at her side. "Kathryn, you haven't rested in three days." Chakotay's voice sounded calm and concerned.

"They have Harry and Tom in a prison, Chakotay, we don't know what condition they are in; if they were injured, or what kind of prison keepers these Akritirians are. B'Elanna keeps asking if I have any new information on them. She's been really worried about both of them and this just made it worse. She knows very few civilizations are as humane as the Federation is with their prisoners." Kathryn had always considered it her responsibility to keep her crew safe, as any good leader would, but unlike most leaders, Kathryn never seemed to come to terms with any type of suffering or loss; carrying the guilt of even the most unforeseen consequences to her actions, and viewing them as her personal failures.

"You have a plan to get them back, B'Elanna knows that. Any plan however, is best executed by a well-rested Captain, besides it isn't good for the child, Kathryn. You have a responsibility to that baby you're carrying, too. Why don't you rest while Tuvok and B'Elanna track the ships that were in the area with paralithium, I'll make sure they wake you when we are close to hailing range, please Kathryn." Chakotay was beyond concerned, and downright worried. Her body couldn't hold out like this much longer.

"Alright, but I want to be informed at the first sight of any of those ships." Kathryn yielded to her first officer.

"I'll make sure of it, Captain. I'll inform the bridge, just go on to your quarters, Kathryn, I'll be there in a few minutes." Kathryn hesitated for a brief moment; why would he go to her quarters, but her exhaustion was too great for her to worry too much about it. She left her ready room through the doors leading directly into the corridor and headed for deck 3.

She had kicked of her boots and had started letting down her hair, running her hands through it to smooth it down when she heard his chime. She already knew it would be him so she gave her permission to enter without bothering to watch him come in. "Commander, I'm not sure why you are here."

"Well Kathryn, if I'm not mistaken the last couple of times you actually slept you couldn't do it until you were in my arms; I'm just here to make sure you get your sleep." Chakotay was serious. He did have another motive however; he wanted to hold her as much as he wanted her to sleep.

"Yes, but I believe you were here enforcing a medical order from the doctor, you have no reason to be here now. I'm sorry if I was so emotional those two nights, I know I shouldn't have leaned on you then. It was a mistake for me to do that. What was it you called me for going to your bed on _New Earth_; a fling, a conquest? Well you achieved your goal, Chakotay. I understand that it was my own failing and I won't hold you responsible or make you feel obligated to me as a result of that." She spoke sadly but firmly.

"No you don't understand; it wasn't like that for me Kathryn you were never a fling or conquest to me. I was wrong to say those things, but when I did I didn't mean us. We really need to talk about this. I need to explain; I made a lot of mistakes and a lot of assumptions. I hope you'll be able to forgive me."

"Can we postpone this conversation until we get our crewmen back, Chakotay? I'm not sure how much I can take right now."

"Of course, we can deal with it later, as long as we do deal with it. For now I'd like to hold the woman I love."

"Chakotay, just because you made a declaration of love doesn't mean I'm going to invite you into my quarters, or my bed." Her voice was firm but even as she spoke she imagined herself sneaking off to his quarters just to feel him next to her as she slept.

"I only want to hold you Kathryn, no funny business, even if you wanted to I wouldn't do it. The baby needs you to rest."

She cautiously whispered "okay." He was right and the days she went to him she had done so because hadn't been able to sleep, longing to be held. She didn't want to admit that she felt she needed him but that is exactly how she felt. She quickly added, "You can stay on the couch again."

"You know Tom was right there is a perfectly good bed not a stone's throw from the couch; it _would_ be more comfortable."

She sighed, "I'm not discussing this any longer. I'm going to bed Commander, stay where ever you'd like just not in my bed!" With that she went to get ready to sleep. She emerged from her bathroom with her hair down and wearing her nightgown. Her quarters were painfully silent. Her eyes searched through the still shadows of both rooms seeking out his form to no avail. Chakotay had gone. She slipped sadly between the cool, silky sheets of her bed and ordered the lights off.

When Chakotay returned with his sleep clothes and blanket Kathryn's quarters were dark. He stood still for a moment listening for her; half hoping she hadn't drifted off yet. The stillness surrounded him; he moved toward the bathroom to change. She heard him come in but she lay still in her bed. He stepped out of the bathroom clad in his familiar sweatpants, his chest bare. He sat on her bed and watched her for a moment then leaned over and kissed her head. She felt her heart leap at his touch. "I'm sorry for all I've put you through my love." His words were soft gentle whispers. She fought the urge to pull him into the bed next to her.


	12. Chapter 12

XXXXX

"Coward." The word cut through Janeway, pierced her soul and a good part of her agreed. For a moment her expression betrayed her as she snapped her head back to look at the petite adolescent girl whom had seen right through her. _Coward. _

After following trails speaking to various aliens _Voyager _had finally found the ship and crew responsible for the devastating crime Tom and Harry had been unfairly convicted of; a young man and his little sister. The fourteen year old girl, a child really, had offered Janeway the coordinates of the prison in the hopes that she would attack it. "That's not how we do things." Was Janeway's response. Always the diplomat Captain Janeway preferred a peaceful conclusion, a compromise, to violence every time, or _almost_ every time. That's when the declaration came, "Coward."

Once it was evident that negotiations had failed the Captain would figure out a way to save her crew, she refused to leave them behind. Over Chakotay's objections, and to his major dismay, she would lead the rescue team into the prison to recover Tom and Harry. She would put her life in danger to save her crew without giving it a second thought. No, Captain Janeway wasn't nearly as afraid to die as she was to live. _Coward._

Using _Voyager_ as a distraction, she used Neelix's shuttle craft to gain access to the prison. Sliding down a large chute, despite her condition, she emerged ready for a fight, weapon drawn firing at those who dared approach. She recovered her men and they made their escape despite being detected before the rescue was complete. Risking her life was easy, second-nature to her. She released her two prisoners on a friendly M-Class planet and resumed her course; her course to the Alpha quadrant, her course to loneliness.

She returned to her quarters, muscles aching, and exhausted. She hadn't slept. It was her stubbornness that had kept the rejuvenating comfort and peace from her. Chakotay had been so sure she would need him to sleep. He saw through her, too. She refused to give him that satisfaction; instead she tossed and turned all night. Still, when morning came through the exhaustion and the cloudy haze of thoughts that comes from an utter lack of rest she felt a brief moment of self-satisfaction. She had been strong and hadn't gone to him, but the moment was, in fact, very brief. She saw him sitting on her couch, exhaustion worn upon his face. "You didn't sleep, Kathryn. I heard you toss and turn all night." Then a whisper, "I waited for you." Then she had felt guilt. Running through these events in her mind as she sat, muscles weakened and sore, legs shaky from the day's efforts, she reevaluated her initial assessment. She hadn't been strong she had been a _coward_.

She had already admitted to herself that she was afraid of raising her child alone. That night, the night they fought, she cried because she thought he wouldn't be there to help. Now he had apologized, offered her comfort, offered to be there for her, offered an apology and an explanation. An explaination she still hadn't heard, one she could probably surmise, but hadn't allowed herself too until now. She knew he was jealous and allowed it. She knew he was watching when she placed her hand on Tom's shoulder and she deliberately let it linger there just a bit longer then she normally would have. She heard his words the day he saw Paris hug her, the day she found out she was having his child. Still she had made no effort to explain to Chakotay that she had no romantic interest in Tom Paris. If she took a moment to think about it she knew those awful words he said to her, the day she told him of her pregnancy, were a jealous tirade, one who's creation she had contributed to. _Coward._

As afraid as she was of being a single mother and a starship captain, she was more afraid of depending on him, of loving him, but mostly of needing him. She had loved before and the loss had left such cold and devastating wounds that she had feared she would never again feel warmth or comfort. Mark had been safe, she wasn't passionate about Mark. Chakotay was different; his love had the power to destroy her. They had one night on _New Earth_ and still, that one night had left her unable to get a decent night's sleep without him, leaving next to her a void of frosty darkness, a void of anxiety and loss where his body should be. No, she wasn't nearly as afraid of dying as she was of loving.

Her door chime rang. She knew who it was, they had unfinished business. He wasn't going to let misunderstandings stand for long anymore she knew that. "Come in."

"Kathryn." No response.

"I thought we'd finish that conversation, if you're up to it." Chakotay said cautiously. She nodded in response this time so he continued. "I know what I did was wrong, and I'm sorry; I thought some awful things…"

"Stop." She cut him off.

"But I want you to understand…" he tried again.

"I didn't sleep with Tom Paris, Chakotay." She blurted out.

A bit shocked that she knew exactly what his assumptions had been he answered. "I know that now, I was stupid to be jealous."

"I let you believe that… I saw you getting jealous, Chakotay; I knew you noticed him coming to my quarters. I knew it was for the prenatal scans, you didn't, and I knew it was eating you up. I allowed things to get as bad as they did. It was another way of pushing you away from me. I'm a coward." She admitted her deepest failing to him. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Because I love you and that scares me. I'm afraid I'll need you, I'm afraid I'll lose you, but I already need you; I can't even sleep without you." She was fighting the urge to cry again. She hated being vulnerable.

He reached for her and pulled her close to him. He wrapped his arms around her and lowered his lips to hers, "In that case you should be sleeping _with_ me, Kathryn." He said just before he covered her lips with his. With his kiss her legs, already week from the strain of the day, buckled underneath her, but his arms, still wrapped around her, held her tight. When the kiss broke she spoke. "I really need to sleep, Chakotay. Will you hold me for a little while?"

"Of course." He scooped her up gently, and carried her to her bed. He set her down and lay next to her pulling her close to him. He caressed her body in slow and soft strokes. His touch had a calming effect on her and she fell into a deep comforted sleep. He stayed with her all night, he had no intention of ever leaving her ever again.


	13. Chapter 13

**I'd like to thank everyone that has left reviews. I appreciate them and I am grateful for the kind words. I feel I got a bit off track with this story, even though its been fun writing it, and I hope I can bring it back to where it needs to be. Nonetheless I hope reading it has been an enjoyable experience for all.**

XXXXX

"Commander, do you think I could have a word with you in private." Harry's request came as something of a surprise to Chakotay.

"Sure, Harry, we can use the conference room." They had both been headed to the bridge and the conference room was the quickest most convenient private room. Once the doors closed behind them Chakotay asked, "So what's on your mind Harry?"

Harry stood nervously at attention. "Well sir,…" he hesitated "well, your… relationship with… the Captain has been… strange."

"I don't see how this is any of your business, Harry…" interrupted the Commander.

Harry's anxiety was clearly taking over him, but he determinately spoke again, "please let me finish Commander… uh sir! You have clearly had issues with each other, fights and reconciliations, and while the Captain always puts us, her crew, first, it is plain to see that what you do affects her mood and whether or not she is happy. Now, I saw you leaving her quarters this morning and… well… I want to know that you aren't just playing with her emotions."

Chakotay stood stunned; quiet straight laced Harry was questioning his _intentions _with the Captain. "You want to know what my intentions are."

"Yes, sir. I don't want to see her hurt; she needs friends not men who would take advantage of how lonely being a captain must be out here where everyone is a subordinate. The Captain deserves better."

"I agree Harry," he continued curiously, "but what I want to know is, what would you do if I_ was,_ as you said, _playing_ with her emotions?"

Harry's clasped hands were trembling with fear, and he was struggling to maintain his composure in the face of this challenge. "I don't know, sir. I do know I would be very upset as would other members of this crew. We want her to be happy, and if you make her happy then we are too. I just ask that you don't hurt her."

Chakotay let out a hearty laugh much to Harry's dismay. "Oh Harry, that took some guts. I didn't take you for the protective father figure." Then more seriously, "You must really care about her."

"Yes sir I do."

"Well, I'll let you in on a little secret then Harry. She and I have had ups and down, and quite a few disagreements and misunderstanding, but I love her, Harry. Does that satisfy you?"

"Uhh… yes sir. Just don't hurt her. Um… permission to leave, sir." Harry needed to escape that room, his nerves were frazzled and he was starting to feel dizzy.

"Granted, but Harry, maybe you shouldn't mention my feelings for the Captain to anyone quite yet."

"Aye, sir!" Harry practically ran out of the conference room, visibly shaken, and took his place at ops. Tom stared at him with a curious expression, he'd have to get the details from Harry later, but Tom imagined this was going to be interesting.

The Commander exited the conference room and moved towards the Captain's ready room. Having been granted entry he walked in and stood before the Captain's desk. The Captain was all business, staring down at the PADD she held in her hand. "Commander, could you have Torres, and Paris take a shuttle and investigate these energy signatures we've been getting? I'm not sure what they mean but they are ahead of us. Once we finish our repairs we'll be heading straight for them and I'd like to know what they are first. Tell them to be cautious and have Ensign Kim keep sensors on them while they are out there."

"Captain? Torres, and Paris together in a shuttle, are you sure that's wise."

"I think they can work together, you don't?" The Captain was watching him closely gauging his response, both physical and verbal.

"Well, I think we both know that Tom is interested in B'Elanna and B'Elanna has been, well more receptive than I would have expected of her. Given that she hasn't broken his nose and has actually had some meals with him, I'd say they are headed towards a relationship."

The Captain was now visibly agitated and there was a challenge in the words she spoke next, "Are you saying that people who are _involved_ with each other can't work well together? I seem to recall you trying to convince me of just the opposite of that."

Chakotay realized his mistake and tried to rectify it, knowing that Kathryn had become close to both Tom and B'Elanna in the last few weeks he struggled for an appropriate response. "No, Captain, I just don't think Tom Paris has the maturity to handle it, that's all."

"Tom Paris may choose to engage in what many people would think of as childish pastimes but as you are aware, or should be aware, I have been able to count on him in the most trying times and with the most serious of issues. You haven't heard him making light of the situations I've found myself in as of yet, have you?" Kathryn was becoming very defensive of Tom and Chakotay didn't like it, but he knew where his jealousy had led them before and decided to move on.

"I'm sorry Kathryn, you're right. He has proven himself trustworthy… so far." He moved on quickly not giving her a chance to respond. "I just had an interesting conversation with Ensign Kim." Chakoty stated with the slightest grin.

"I suppose it's something I should know about." The Captain looked back down to the report she had been reading.

"Apparently, he wasn't too happy about see me leaving your quarters this morning." There was a hint of amusement in his voice. The Captain wasn't amused, however. Her head snapped up and her eyes met his.

"What did you tell him you were doing there?" Her eyes were wide and worried.

"Nothing, Kathryn, he didn't ask what I was doing there. He did, however, ask me to declare my intentions toward you. He doesn't want me toying with your emotions. He's quite protective of you. Poor kid was scared out of his mind confronting me, but he didn't back down." Pride laced his voice, Harry was growing up.

"I'm glad you find this amusing. What did you say to him?" She was obviously not amused.

"The truth Kathryn, that I love you."

She grew increasingly nervous. "I'm not ready to tell the crew anything yet. I thought I had a few weeks before I had to address this issue." As she contemplated this new turn of events Chakotay cut into her thoughts.

"The rumors aren't new, Kathryn, the crew has been convinced that we are a couple for a long time now. You shouldn't worry too much about it. I'll go tell Tom and B'Elanna to take that shuttle craft out." He hadn't considered that telling her about Harry would cause her more stress and anxiety. He wanted to end the conversation before he made it worse.

"Ask B'Elanna if she's free to meet me for dinner at 1900 in my quarters please. I'd like to talk to her."

"Yes, Captain." He thought it would be a good idea to slip back into business mode.

"Dismissed."

On their away mission Tom and B'Elanna were detected and attacked by aliens in that territory. B'Elanna recovered fairly quickly but Tom lay unconscious in sick bay longer than expected. The Captain then decided that she would not go around the alien territory as Starfleet regulations would require. These bullies had injured her helmsman and friend and left him to die. No, she wouldn't add more than a year to their journey to pacify these beings. On her orders the senior staff went to work devising a plan to avoid being detected as they crossed that area of space.

After being released from sickbay B'Elanna went to her quarters to rest, the next day would be a long one if they were going to devise a way to avoid detection. Kathryn Janeway was exhausted herself, that dinner with B'Elanna would have to wait. She ate a quick dinner in the mess hall and retired to her quarters for the night.

Sometime in the night Kathryn Janeway stole away from her quarters. Wearing a robe over her satin green nightgown, and slippers on her feet, she crossed the corridor to Chakotay's quarters. She didn't ring the door chime she simply used her override codes to unlock the door. She moved cautiously, slipping quietly into the bedroom. She sat on his bed for a few moments watching him sleep, then ran a finger along his jaw, down to his chin, then up again, to trace his lips.

"Kathryn? You couldn't sleep? I'm sorry I should have asked you, but you went to your quarters and I didn't want to wake you if you were sleeping." He had hoped she was able to sleep without him again, not because he didn't want to spend all his nights next to her, but for her own wellbeing. He had no intention of ever leaving her but it wasn't healthy that she couldn't fall asleep on her own; at times like this he wished they had a councilor on board.

Then she did something he hadn't expected. Without a word she leaned down and kissed him. Since the day_ he_ kissed _her_ they had not kissed again. He would hold her and she'd fall asleep. Sometimes he would stay in her quarters with her all night, sometimes he would wait until he was sure she was asleep and return to his own quarters. _This is a good sign_ he thought, _a_ very_ good sign_.

She slipped into his bed and placed one hand behind his head, drawing him to her for a long and sensual kiss. Once they broke their kiss she spoke, "You know something, Chakotay, I've never made love to my first officer on a starship before."

"No?" He went along with her.

"No, just on an uninhabited planet we were stranded on. He _was_ the only man on the planet" She said playfully.

"Is that why you made love to him, limited options?" There was a hint of pain in his voice.

"No, he's still the only man I'd choose. Only I always thought I had to wait until we got home, if I was lucky enough for him to wait for me too, for the crew's sake. Now it doesn't seem like it really matters if I wait or not seeing that I'll be showing soon." She hadn't intended for her banter to take on a serious tone but seeing his reaction she felt she needed to put him at ease.

"Maybe Harry should have been asking you what your intensions are towards me." He scolded himself silently for ruining the playful banter and wanted to lighten the mood again.

She didn't answer she just pulled him towards her and made her immediate intensions clear.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I still own nothing, I still don't make any money, and I'm still really sappy.**

**Enjoy.**

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XXXXX

With a plan in place to refract the sensor net and slip through the alien territory undetected Voyager moved forward into unfriendly territory. It would take days to travel through the space these aliens occupied; they began their journey through it. At some point in the trip the Captain told a brief story about how it felt like sneaking out of her parent's house in high school. Her first officer just grinned beside her, remembering how she had been sneaking into his quarters for the last few nights. It was Tom that responded, "Where were you going?" She avoided the answer stating that she'd just leave that to the imagination. Tuvok interrupted the conversation to alert the crew that a large ship had been detected on sensors. Bringing the image onto the view screen they discovered that it wasn't one ship but thousands of tiny ships; a large swarm of tiny ships.

Stumbling upon a damaged ship the Captain ordered the lone survivor beamed to sickbay. The unfortunate survivor of the damaged ship died in Voyager's sickbay. A tiny swarm ship that was still attached to the hull spotted _Voyager_. Once _Voyager _was spotted a frantic B'Elanna tried to repair the warp drive by realigning the dilithium matrix, but this was something best done while the warp drive was shut down, and the current situation wouldn't allow it. Without the warp drive at full capacity, the swarm was able to overtake _Voyager _and dozens of ships locked onto her hull. Several aliens beamed onto the bridge and a brief face to face battle ensued. The Captain and her senior staff figured out how to get their phasers through to hit one of the ships and given that each of the ships was connected to every other ship in the swarm they hoped destroying one caused a chain reaction. It worked. The ships began exploding one at a time, including the ones clamped onto _Voyager, _rocking the ship with each and every blast.

Captain Janeway congratulated the crew and gave the order to proceed out of alien territory. With her hair all a mess, having been knocked out of its tight bun by the jolts of the explosions, she turned the bridge over to Commander Chakotay and proceed to her ready room. She was somewhat surprised to find that Chakotay followed not two minutes behind her. When her door chime rang she was still capturing escaped strands of long soft hair and wrestling them back into place forming a neatly placed bun. "Come in."

Walking in and eyeing her lovingly Chakotay gave her his opinion on the matter, "You know your hair looks beautiful when it's down."

She smiled at him, "Thank you, but you know it's not exactly convenient in a close range phaser fight. If I want to wear it loose I have to cut it short, you know the regulations."

"That I do. You know Kathryn, those blasts were quite jarring, enough to knock your hair out of place. That takes some force you know." Chakotay was trying to raise the issue lightly and failing miserably.

"What are you getting at Commander?" She moved closer to her desk and set both hands down on it as she leaned slightly towards him.

"Kathryn, it's not just your health anymore. Please don't get defensive; I just want to know if you're ok, if the baby is alright. You've already had some issues, my fault I know, and I'm concerned that it may leave you and the baby more susceptible to injuries." Chakotay tried to use the least confrontational, most soothing tone he could come up with without being condescending. He wasn't sure it worked.

"What would you have me do? Should I run to sick bay every time there is the slightest bit of turbulence on my ship?" Kathryn's voice was firm but not angry.

"Why don't we go to sickbay, make sure you're alright and ask the Doctor how concerned we should be with sudden forceful jolts like these or falls during jolts like these. That way we have a guideline of when it is appropriate to report to sickbay, and I can stop worrying about you constantly." Chakotay was hopeful.

"Alright Chakotay," she gave in, "but not right now. I feel fine and I'd like to see my ship return to full working order before I stray too far from the bridge. As soon as all systems are running normally I will go to sickbay."

"We." He, corrected her.

"What?" Kathryn asked confused.

"We will go to sickbay. I want to hear what the doctor has to say too." He wouldn't back down from this one.

"Very well, _we_ will go to sickbay."

XXXX

In her ready room the Captain was contemplating the fact that her uniforms were starting to fit a bit too snug around the waist even though she'd replicated them a size bigger than she usually wore. When the door chime rang she quickly seated herself behind her desk as if hiding her stomach, which then made her feel silly because she'd been walking around in front of everyone all day.

"Come in."

"Captain, my report." B'Elanna had gotten the warp core back online and engineering back to normal, in only a few hours. Captain Janeway knew she was lucky to have her onboard.

"Thank you, B'Elanna." B'Elanna lingered hesitantly.

"Was there something more?" The Captain asked.

"I was wondering how you are doing, the explosions were pretty strong." There was a sincere concern in her voice.

"Chakotay has already made me promise to report to sickbay before the day is out B'Elanna."

"That's good; at least he's doing that right. You seem to have made peace with him. Are you giving him another chance?" B'Elanna wanted to see the Captain happy, but was still angry at Chakotay for what he did to her.

"A chance at what B'Elanna? Kathryn asked in a softer tone.

"At a relationship, being a family… that's what you want from him… isn't it?" B'Elanna questioned her. The Captain pursed her lips thoughtfully. This wouldn't be an easy conversation.

"Why don't you come by my quarters in about an hour so we can talk more comfortably, and in private, B'Elanna. Right now I'm waiting on one more report before I report to sickbay."

"That sounds fine Captain, just have some coffee ready; for me of course, only decaffeinated tea for expectant mothers." B'Elanna chuckled a bit. The Captain had avoided even mentioning coffee since the day she found out she was expecting, as if the words themselves would shake her will to avoid it.

"You'd really drink coffee in front of me and expect me to drink _tea_?" The Captain was only half joking. She really didn't want to watch someone else enjoying her favorite drink if she couldn't._ One cup couldn't hurt -_she thought.

"See you later Captain."

Captain Janeway nodded her dismissal.

Chakotay walked into the Captain's ready room a few minutes later with the last report in hand. "The Ops report, Captain. Now I believe you and I have a date with sickbay. Are you ready?"

"I still need to look over that report, Commander." She was still in her Captain mode.

"I've already looked it over, if you'd like to double check my work you can do that later. Right now you and I are going to sickbay." Chakotay stood firm.

The Captain didn't take orders easily, but she had agreed to go, so she conceded, "Fine but only because B'Elanna is expecting me in about an hour. Let's get this over with."

The doctor was surprised to see the Captain in sickbay; all injuries sustained during the day's battle had been minor, even the crewman hit by the swarm alien's electro-neural weapon had already been released. "Captain what can I do for you?"

"I'm apparently in a fragile state, Doctor. My first officer here feels I need to be looked at by a Doctor simply because the ship rocked a little." Chakotay cringed at being called her first officer; he went with her as the man who loved her, as her child's father, not as a duty bound crewman.

"A wise precaution, you know it wasn't just _a little rocking_ several crewmen were knocked around and needed medical care. Lay down on that biobed and I'll just make sure everything is fine, and then you can go on your merry way."

As the doctor was scanning her, Tom and B'Elanna walked into sickbay together. "What can I help you with Lieutenants?" The Doctor asked barely glancing up at them.

"Actually," Answered Tom, "I have something for the Captain. I think I can get that holograph of the baby now. I know it took more than the week I promised, but I was imprisoned then attacked and left for dead, flew through a swarm of thousands of hostile aliens, you know, the usual run of the mill distractions."

"Lieutenant, I provide a holographic image of the fetus at 30 weeks gestation, I see no need to do one now." The Doctor somehow managed to sound insulted.

"I know, that is why this one is a gift from Uncle Tom. Oh, and Auntie B'Elanna did end up helping me, but just a little bit." Tom smirked and braced himself for a smack in the arm from B'Elanna.

B'Elanna went to stand beside Kathryn's biobed, opposite Chakotay.

"How's she doing Doctor?" Chakotay asked once the doctor had finished his scans.

"Well her body mass hasn't increased sufficiently but the baby looks healthy." The Doctor concluded.

"What do you mean, her body mass?" Chakotay was sure he knew what the Doctor meant but he wanted no room for doubt.

"She isn't gaining as much weight as is typically considered within normal range." He clarified.

"Not enough weight! I don't even fit in my uniforms anymore!" Kathryn was appalled; she wasn't far along enough to be that big yet. Chakotay gave her a stern look.

"Yes, well you are pregnant Captain, and at this stage you _should _be showing. At 19 weeks your uterus is roughly the size of a cantaloupe. "

Kathryn let out a frustrated sigh.

"Well I'll let you get to your holograph Mister Paris." And with that the Doctor busied himself with other things around sickbay, but never venturing too far to eavesdrop.

Tom linked his tricorder to the holoemitters in sickbay, punched in a few codes and scanned the Captians abdomen. Making a few adjustments more to make sure the image was of the baby and not surrounding tissues, he entered the commands to project the holographic image. As the image of the baby came into view a collection of gasps was heard.

With a wide grin and pride in his voice Tom said, "Congratulations Captain, it's a girl."

"She's beautiful." murmured Chakotay as he squeezed Kathryn's hand. Her eye's welling up with tears, she clasped her hand to his, almost as if she were afraid he'd let go.

"Her head is big." Countered B'Elanna.

"She's a fetus, Lieutenant, her head is supposed to be big in relation to her body." The Doctor replied.

"Tell me she's mine, Kathryn." Chakotay said softly ignoring B'Elanna and the Doctor.

The response was a unified disbelief and a chorus of "What!?" Even the Doctor's voice was included.

"Chakotay! You jerk! You're lucky she didn't stick you in the brig for life after what you did. She gave you another chance. The least you could do is not be such a petaQ this time!" B'Elanna looked like she wanted to tear him into little bits.

Kathryn lay on the biobed quietly, the tears that had filled her eyes earlier now starting to come down onto her face. She relaxed her grip on Chakotay's hand but didn't move, and so their hands remained together.

Chakotay continued addressing Kathryn, "Everyone here has referred to her as the baby, the child, your child, your baby, even your pregnancy. I haven't heard you, or anyone else for that matter, refer to her as mine or even ours, only yours Kathryn. Even Tom congratulated only you just now. I need you to say it, I want you to tell me I'm her father, that she's mine too, not just yours."

"You told me you weren't ready for a child. When Seska… remember? I didn't know I was pregnant then. When I told you I would never force anyone to be a father if they didn't want to be, or weren't ready to be, I meant it. She's only yours if you want her to be." Kathryn spoke carefully trying to keep her emotions out of her voice. This was something she normally didn't struggle with, but this pregnancy did strange things to her emotions.

Chakotay hadn't realized that there had been yet another misunderstanding driving a wedge between them. "I didn't feel I was ready, or sufficiently prepared, is a better way to put it, to raise a child that had been created against my will in that manner. I was afraid I would resent him. No child deserves that. But even then I wanted to protect him from Seska. When I found out he wasn't mine, I was disappointed. I realized that I _was_ looking forward to being a father."

"Will you resent her, Chakotay? Being that you didn't plan for her existence?" Kathryn asked cautiously.

"No, of course not, Kathryn. The circumstances of her creation weren't the same. I _love_ her mother, and I love _her_ more than anything in the universe already." Chakotay's voice was soft and soothing. Kathryn felt an overwhelming sense of relief come over her.

"In that case; congratulations, Chakotay, you're going to be a father. I'm having your child; your daughter." She squeezed his hand tightly again and motioned with the other in the direction of the holographic image of the fetus.

As he gently wiped away the trails of tears on her cheeks he told her, "I love you, and you've just made me the happiest man in the delta quadrant."

As Chakotay leaned over to kiss her the doors to sickbay slid open and Harry Kim and Samantha Wildman walked in. In his arms Harry held Naomi Wildman who had a large red bump on her head and was testing the full capacity of her lungs. With a gasp the two Ensigns registered the meaning of what they saw; the holographic image of a baby, the Captain laying on a biobed, and Chakotay leaned over planting a kiss on the Captain's lips.


	15. Chapter 15

**I still own nothing. I still make no money. **

**I hope you enjoy.**

The Captain looked over at the stunned Ensigns then back at Chakotay. "You take Kim, I'll take Wildman. B'Elanna put a copy of the holographic image on a data card for me then meet me and Sam. Tom help the Doctor with Naomi, I'm sure you'll be better at calming her down." Tom walked over and took Naomi from a very stunned Harry's arms just as Chakotay approached Harry and Kathryn approached Samantha. "What happened to Naomi?" The Captain had become very fond of the child and her concern was genuine. Harry explained that he was walking through the mess hall and he didn't see the child toddling about; he bumped into her and sent her headfirst into a table leg.

The Captain took Samantha to one side and reassured her. "She'll be fine in a minute." Samantha just nodded. They both watched while Tom worked to calm Naomi as the Doctor worked on repairing the bump on her head. "She doesn't have a concussion." Declared the Doctor, "She should be fine." As the bump contracted Naomi's cries diminished as well, and soon she was back to normal.

"Samantha, about what you saw…" The Captain began.

"Oh. I didn't see anything Captain. You know, it took me a long time to tell anyone about Naomi. Sometimes we need to take some time to deal with things in our own way." Samantha said knowingly.

B'Elanna walked up to the pair and dropped a data card in Captain Janeway's hand. "Thank you, B'Elanna." She turned her attention back to Ensign Wildman. "I appreciate your discretion. I've been meaning to talk to you about how you handle things. I feel bad that I never took the time to fully consider how you take care of Naomi and still fulfill your duties. I apologize for that, and I hope you'll forgive me. May I ask who watches her while you are on shift?"

"There is nothing to forgive Captain, I was happy you were supportive of me keeping her. I was worried you might suggest… well…" she decided to leave that unsaid and continued, "as far as her care most of the crew has helped me out at one time or another. The Delany sisters babysit for me often; Crewman Celes says she'd rather babysit then report for duty. Neelix helps me the most, anytime he's not at the mess hall, of course. He and Kes usually watch her if I have to work a night shift. Even Tom has watched her for me once or twice. Red alerts are the hardest Captain, because everyone needs to be at their stations, those times I'll take her with me, most of the time I'm sent back to my quarters with her by whoever is in charge."

"I see…" the Captain contemplated Ensign Wildman's quandary, truly feeling sorry that she hadn't helped her with her difficulties, "well that won't do. I can't be sent off to my quarters to wait out a red alert now can I? Maybe we can work together to come up with a good solution for both of us."

It was then that the Captain noticed how heated the discussion between Harry and Chakotay was getting.

* * *

As soon as the Captain had stepped away with Ensign Wildman, Harry's demeanor changed. He stared at Chakotay obviously upset. "You lied, you said you weren't in a romantic relationship with the Captain."

"We weren't at the time, Harry." Commander Chakotay stated simply.

"That was two months ago, I saw the hologram, that baby is more than two months along." Harry stern stare was fixed on Chakotay.

"Yes, a little more than twice that."

"So you've been together for at least four months." Harry stated what he thought should be an obvious conclusion.

"No Harry. We weren't a couple, until rather recently… well I think we're a couple, neither of us has defined our relationship yet."

"So you're saying this isn't your child." Harry was confused and becoming more and more angry at Chakotay.

"No! I'm not saying that at all. She _is_ mine!" Chakotay would _never_ deny his child, well not _knowing_ she was his.

"What are you saying Commander? Are you saying that when you got her pregnant she was…" He was going to say she was just a fling but couldn't bring himself to do it. "You weren't involved? You took advantage of her feelings for you? And don't tell me you didn't know what she felt for you; the entire crew sees how she looks at you, we've all known for a long time now how she feels about you." Harry had inched closer to the Commander.

"Harry, settle down. Kathryn and I had a very brief relationship a little over four months ago, which ended. Her pregnancy was a result of that relationship." Chakotay thought he was explaining the situation clearly.

"So you _left_ her, while she was _pregnant_." Harry retorted with evident disgust.

"No Harry," Chakotay was starting to get frustrated. "we didn't know she was pregnant then. When you came to her quarters we really were not in a romantic relationship. Harry, I think the Captain wants to tell the crew on her own terms, I don't think you should mention this to anyone." Chakotay thought the discussion was settled, but Harry didn't.

"You stayed in her quarters with her for, what, five days straight Commander neither of you leaving the room for any reason at all. If you weren't in a relationship then why were you staying with her? Do you plan to walk in and out of her life, play games with her feelings, as you so please?" Harry was really working himself up and his voice was getting louder.

"Ensign what seems to be the problem?" It was the Captain. She was trying to calm Harry, but he wasn't having it.

When Ensign Kim failed to answer, Chakotay responded. "It seems Ensign Kim is very fond, and protective of his Captain. He feels that I've been playing with your emotions. He wants to know why I stayed in your quarters all those days if we weren't involved in a romantic relationship at the time."

"I see. Ensign I appreciate your concern…" The Captain was about to tell him to mind his own business, but in a more captain like way of course, when she thought better of it. Harry was loyal to a fault; she didn't want to diminish that loyalty this way. "You were not lied to, Harry."

"Why was he in your quarters?" Harry pressed.

The Captain hesitated for a moment, debating if she should invoke her Captain's right and avoid the question; she decided to answer, "He was ensuring that I followed the Doctor's orders of several days of bed rest, until the threat of miscarriage passed. "

He turned to her now, concern in his voice, "Miscarriage? Were you sick? Were you hurt, Captain? What happened?" At the sound of Harry's questions Kathryn wished she had just told him to mind his own business.

Kathryn was about to tell Harry that what mattered was that she was fine and not to worry. She found, however, that Chakotay was making a habit of confessing.

"I hurt her. I pushed her against the bulkhead and injured her. I _had_ to stay with her and make sure she…" Chakotay didn't finish. .

"You what?!" Harry was distressed.

Captain Janeway saw the situation escalating and took action. "Harry why don't you and I talk about this, not everything is Chakotay's fault." She turned to the rest of the room. She briefly considered changing her initial plans but decided against it. "Chakotay, B'Elanna, Samantha could you go to my quarters and wait for me there? There are some things I'd like to discuss with you. Chakotay you can let them in. Oh, if you could replicate us some dinner too it would be greatly appreciated, use my rations. Tom and I will be there as soon as I've handled this." They all nodded and made their way out of sickbay.

"Harry?" Tom stood behind Harry with his hand on his friends shoulder as Kathryn placed her hand on his arm and waited for his response.

After a few quiet moments he finally spoke. "I never thought you would put up with an abusive man, Captain. Guess I always thought any guy who tried would be worse off for trying. Then again, I never thought Commander Chakotay would do something like that either. I guess I'm just naive, huh?"

"Harry, how can I explain this to you?" She paused, contemplating what to say to him, "You can't place blame solely on Chakotay for how things unraveled. I've made a lot of mistakes in this too. In fact Harry, I slapped him first that day. He grabbed my arms and shoved me back into the wall, you could call it self-defense. He didn't even realize how much force he'd used until it was too late. Just remember, this was in the heat of an argument, a very misdirected argument, between us. I'm not saying it was right. We were _both_ wrong, and neither one of us should have resorted to violence. I'd like it if you'd let this go Harry, for me, please."

She was like a mother to him. She looked out for him. He wanted to do the same for her, yet here she was asking him to let it go. He always did what she asked. He tried to do not only what she asked, but what he thought she'd want him to do; the things he thought would make her proud of him. She was his family out here in the Delta quadrant. He nodded his agreement. He wasn't happy about it but he wouldn't make a fuss about it either.

She smiled at his nod. "Alright then, come on boys there is a meeting of the secret keepers In the Captains quarters! Looks like everyone will be there." She said brightly. Now that that was settled, and she knew Chakotay wanted to be a father to their daughter, things were looking much better.

"Does that include me Captain? I know this secret too, you know. Why haven't I been invited to this meeting?" The Doctor spoke up as didn't like to feel like he was considered any less than any other member of the crew.

Janeway sighed. "Then come along Doctor, we have a co-ed slumber party to attend."

"But I don't own any pajamas, and I can't leave sickbay!" The Doctor sounded as if he was horrified at these sudden realizations.

"Sorry Doctor, I guess we'll just have to fill you in later." Tom teased him. The trio exited sickbay and headed to join the other three members of the _Secret Keepers_ in the Captain's quarters.

* * *

Ensign Wildman nervously stood in Captain Janeway's living quarters unsure of what to do next. "Sit down Ensign," Chakotay motioned to the couch. "Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Tea? Juice for Naomi?"

"No thank you, Commander." She cautiously moved to the couch. Her eyes moved over the delicate antiques the Captain had displayed around the room. She held tighter to Naomi, afraid the child might toddle over and try to touch something. "Do you know what the Captain wants to talk to me about?"

"I don't know Samantha. She may just want to have someone to talk to; someone who has experienced this before." Chakotay tried to soothe Samantha's nerves. "Why don't you let me hold Naomi." Then taking the child in his arms he commented. "She's growing so fast."

"Yes, it's the Ktarian heritage. I experienced a pregnancy that was twice as long and so far it seems like her childhood will be going by twice as fast. I have to admit I think I'd reverse the two if I could."

Watching Chakotay play with Naomi, B'Elanna smiled. She was still a little angry at him but she loved him like family. He was the closest thing to an older brother she had. "Doesn't Chakotay look good with a baby, Sam? I think you need to let him babysit, he needs all the practice he can get."

Samantha watched Chakotay making funny faces at Naomi as the child tried to pull at his ears and grab his tattoo. "He can babysit anytime he wants to, but if you ask me he's doing pretty well already." She answered with a smile.

Chakotay handed the child back to Samantha. He decided to start dinner, replicating a cheese enchilada casserole. It was something easy that could feed the entire group and not deplete the Captains entire month's worth of rations, _and _as a vegetarian he could eat it too.

Chakotay was just placing the casserole on the table when the Captain, Tom, and Harry walked in. "Kathryn, Tom, Harry." He greeted them with a nod. Then he took Kathryn's hand, knowing he was pushing things, he pulled her close and gave her a quick peck on the lips. She bit her lower lip and blushed a little, she still had to get used to the idea of others knowing about their relationship. He smiled obviously amused at her response, but he drew no attention to it.

"Hello again everyone, the Doctor wishes he could come but he can't leave sickbay." She said trying to deflect everyone's attention away from the kiss.

"I replicated an enchilada casserole. I hope everyone is ok with that. Now, Kathryn, I think we're all curious as to why we are all here." Chakotay was as curious as the others.

"We're now known as the Secret Keepers, and she's buying our silence with meals that Neelix didn't prepare." Tom quipped. B'Elanna shot him a look that told him to shut up.

"Then I guess we need to offer our newest members an appropriate welcome." Declared Chakotay.

"And what would that be?" asked B'Elanna

"I have no idea. A hearty hand shake and a _welcome to the club_?" Chakotay answered back.

"What did you do for the last member?" This time Samantha joined in the nonsense.

There were several seconds of quiet.

"Well? Who was the last member?" Harry finally asked.

"I was, I think." Answered Chakotay a little solemnly. "Other than the Doctor, and the people in this room, does anyone else know, Kathryn?

"Yes, Tuvok knows too." She answered quickly.

"You must be joking, right? I'm sure you were the first to know." Harry directed his question at Chakotay; his voice had a harsh edge to it.

"No actually, Harry," it was the Captain who responded, "Tom was the first to know."

Chakotay felt a different kind of jealousy toward Tom at that moment. He looked over at Tom and saw how serious and even sad his expression had become and Chakotay's jealousy eased.

"Tom?" Harry said in disbelief.

"Yes, Harry. B'Elanna saw me lose my balance in the corridor and helped me into my quarters. She insisted I let Tom examine me and it was Tom that discovered that I was pregnant. So Tom was the first to know and I was second."

"That doesn't count, Tom was the medic and you are the pregnant woman. He can't hold that against you. Even if he was technically the third to know, I'm sure he was the first one you told." Harry was defending the Captain against an accusation that no one had made.

"Harry, that is between Chakotay and me." The Captain brought the conversation to a close. "Now let's give everyone some enchilada casserole and get down to business."

Chakotay moved close to the Captain and began to whisper to her that _he_ wasn't done with that conversation. She whispered back. "I didn't think you would be we will talk about it later, in private."

With plates served and passed around the room Kathryn got down to business. "Samantha, I want you to let the crewmen know that you need two people to be caregivers for Naomi while you are on shift. Each caregiver will work three shifts a week caring for her in exchange for three sifts of their regular work. Let them know the Captain has approved it. They need to be nonessential personnel to the ships functioning so that when a red alert sounds their job will be to collect Naomi, and take her to the most secure place on the ship. You will be in charge of interviewing and screening anyone interested. They will be able to begin as soon as I approve your decision. Do you think you can handle that?"

"Yes Captain. That sounds wonderful." Samantha was thrilled.

"Now Samantha, once my child is born, they will be caring for both our children; just don't tell anyone that part yet. I may need you to handle some of the coordinating for me as my shifts rarely ever end on schedule. Is that alright with you?"

"Yes of course Captain." Samantha Wildman was more than willing to help the Captain.

"Ok now, we need a childcare room in the safest most secure part of the ship, any suggestions?" The Captain addressed the room.

Chakotay chuckled a little. "Aren't you taking the overprotective mother routine a little far? Why don't we just take one of the empty officers' quarters on our deck and make it a childcare room? That way you'll be close to her."

"We could always put a crib on the bridge." Tom suggested lightly. "Would that be close enough, Captain?"

"The Captain's ready room could be the childcare room. If she doesn't mind finger painting on her walls." Harry piped. The Captain was relieved to see Harry relaxing.

She pondered Chakotay's suggestion a moment then declared "An excellent idea; Chakotay's idea of course. Let's get a crew working on it right away so that the caregivers Samantha hires have a place to care for Naomi as soon as possible. Let's put some child-sized tables and chairs in it and stock it with books, toys, and art supplies. "

"No problem Captain." B'Elanna looked at Harry. "What do you say Harry? We can start working on some of the details tomorrow."

"Yes. I'll find some vacant quarters and we'll have it done in no time, Captain." Harry responded.

"Speaking of quarters." Kathryn reached for Chakotay's hand and pulled him closer to her. "I wanted to discuss this with Chakotay first, but since we are all here… I'm going to need a nursery. B'Elanna I was wondering if you could draw up some design options for me. One would be a plan for adding a small room to my quarters, I'd be willing to lose most of my living space. Draw up another plan where both Chakotay and I gave up some of our space adding a small room between our bedrooms; one that can be accessed by either of us. Draw up one that would combine two other quarters on this deck in order to make them into one family living quarters with two bedrooms for me and the baby, I'd be willing to give up my quarters if that one seemed best." She hesitated and looked at Chakotay. "Or, and this is why I wanted to talk to you first… Combining both the Captain's and First Officer's quarters to make one two bedroom family apartment, but we would both still need our own living areas, even if they were smaller than what we have now. When she's done we can look them over together and decide which would be best for us." She waited for his response.

"That sounds like a good plan." He turned to B'Elanna and added, " B'Elanna work on plans to combine our quarters first you may not need to draw up any of the others." Chakotay said with a smile.

Kathryn was pleased.

"Well there is just one more order of business." Kathryn announced.

"What's that Captain?" asked Harry.

"How to tell the crew; I can't hide this much longer. Any suggestions?" Chakotay looked her over. She was right her body was changing, her clothes were tighter around her abdomen, her hips rounder, her breasts fuller, and her face brighter, she was beautiful. The very idea that she was carrying his child warmed him and he felt an overwhelming love for her. "What are you smiling at Chakotay?!"

"The woman I love." He said affectionately.

She smiled back at him. "Yes, well that doesn't help me tell the crew now does it."

He shrugged. "Let's get married and let them figure out the rest themselves. Harry can point a faser rifle at me during the ceremony; then we really won't need any explanations. Just have someone make sure Harry only has it set to stun, in case he gets any ideas." Chakotay laughed.

"That's not funny, Chakotay." She said with a scowl.

"I wasn't joking. Especially not about Harry." He argued.

"Not exactly the most romantic proposal, was it?" She leaned back into her seat, arms crossed, eyebrows raised.

"It _was_ a suggestion, anyone have a better one?"


	16. Chapter 16

**I own nothing, make no money. Cheesiness and Sappiness are all mine as are all grammar errors and typos. Please let me know what you think. **

It had been a long day. It seemed impossible that the alien swam attack had happened just that morning, but it had. Chakotay was exhausted. The adrenalin, strain, and stress of the battle, the emotions at seeing his daughter's image for the first time, the argument with Harry, and watching Kathryn open up like never before to a group of friends and shipmates, left him tired, worried, sad, hopeful, and thoroughly spent. He could only imagine how tired she must feel.

"I'll clean up Kathryn." He took the dishes she was collecting. He straightened up her living quarters, wiped up the table, and headed to her bedroom.

"Kathryn?"

"Yes, Chakotay?" She was about to climb into her bed when she stopped to look at him as she answered.

"Are you okay? It's been a really long, and… eventful day. How do you feel?" He moved over to her and they both sat at the edge of her bed.

"I'm glad things are moving forward. I'm happy we got to see the baby, but I'm not real pleased about your, less than considerate proposal." She said with a frown.

"What are we Kathryn?" His face was serious, his eyes concentrated on hers, reading her body language and her expression for clues.

"What do you mean?" She was avoiding his eyes, shifting uncomfortably. She had been more afraid of this relationship than of any other in her life. Even though her fears were now fading she was still afraid to hope or expect too much, and in consequence, be hurt. She wanted_ him_ to define the relationship.

"What are we, are we lovers, friends, partners, are we a family? Are we in a committed relationship Kathryn?"

"I'd like to think we're committed to each other Chakotay. If you're having doubts about us… Well you know I won't try to force or pressure you into anything." She was uneasy and a little nervous; she _knew_ that he wanted a commitment, but a part of her keep expecting to lose him.

He reached for her, placing his arms around her and allowing his hands to slide down to her lower back, he pulled her close to him. Looking into her intense blue eyes he said. "I want nothing more than to be with you and our daughter, Kathryn. I'm committed to you both. I consider us a family. I need to know you feel the same way."

"I am committed to you. I do consider you my family." She answered firmly now. He thought about how her confident and firm Captain's image covered up her insecurities. Then he remembered how wonderfully relaxed she'd sometimes been on _New Earth_; she was complex a person with many layers, good and bad. He loved her as she was faults and all.

"Then the idea of marriage might be something you'd consider?" He asked cautiously. What he really wanted was to gauge her reaction to the idea of marriage.

She smiled at him. "Maybe, with a better proposal..." She gave him a kiss and said "Go get ready for bed."

When he emerged from her bathroom ready for bed, wearing only his boxer shorts, he was surprised to find that she was sound asleep. This was the first time since he found out she was pregnant, that he'd seen her sleep without first being held in his arms.

XXXXX

**A week later:**

**Holodeck 2: Sandrines**

He crossed the room past the wooden tables and chairs and sat at the bar. "I'll have a beer."

"Coming right up, handsome." Sandrine handed him his beer as Tom and Harry walked in. Harry didn't want to be there. Tom had his hand on his shoulder and was practically pushing him in to the bar.

"Come on Harry, do it for the Captain. You know how she feels about him; she wants you two to get along again. You used to admire him, remember?" Tom was trying his best to smooth things over between Chakotay and Harry.

"That was before I knew he liked to hit women." Harry oozed contempt for his commanding officer.

"I know Harry, that upset me too, but we have to respect her wishes as well. Besides, I saw what he did to himself over that, trust me Harry, no man has ever felt guiltier than Chakotay did." Tom remembered finding Chakotay unconscious, beaten, broken and bloody on that very holodeck.

"What do you mean, what he did to himself?"

"The Captain was on bed rest for four days Harry, Chakotay disappeared for five, remember? On the night before the Captain returned for work he used his boxing program on this very holodeck. Well he fought against his own hologram all night long with the safety off. Only thing was the hologram would reset after every fight and start again without injuries and at full strength, the real Chakotay obviously didn't. By the time I found him the next morning he was unconscious with his face all broken up, and the Doc had to do several surgeries to prevent permanent brain damage. I'm telling you Harry no one was angrier at him than he was himself." They were now approaching Chakotay and Tom said no more on the subject, but Harry began to consider what his friend had told him.

**Holodeck 1: Tropical Beach in the Bahamas**

"Well B'Elanna I have to admit this is better than that slumber party you promised me." Kathryn Janeway was sitting on a lounge chair soaking in the sun. Next to her were B'Elanna and Samantha Wildman in identical chairs. All three were wearing one piece bathing suits with sarongs. They gazed at little Naomi who was playing happily in the sand, the crystal clear blue ocean just a few yards beyond the toddling child. A deliciously cool breeze blew gently across the holographic paradise.

"I have a confession to make Captain."

"B'Elanna, I think that off duty and out of uniform you should call me Kathryn now. Go on now let's here that confession!"

"I've never even been to a slumber party, let alone hosted one!" As the other two women looked at B'Elanna, slightly amused, a very muscular, well-built, and tanned holographic waiter, wearing only short bottoms, came to take their order.

"I'll have a Mai-Tai" Samantha thought one drink wouldn't hurt.

"An iced coffee, please." _I haven't had coffee in_ _AGES- _Kathryn thought – _one won't hurt._

B'Elanna smiled a little wicked smile at the waiter, "Sex on the beach, _please!_" Then gave him a wink.

"Of course, anything you want, miss." The waiter's response came back in a low slightly flirtatious tone. He winked back, then went off to get their drinks.

The women laughed. "_B'Elanna!" _The Captain was still laughing even as she spoke her name in a feigned admonishing tone.

"What, I programmed him to recognize flirting; I thought I'd test the program. It's strictly professional _and _work related, Captain. Several female crewmembers have asked for a hologram that recognizes flirting."

This made them laugh even harder. B'Elanna frowned; they should know that meaningless flirting wasn't her style.

"So B'Elanna, how are things with you and Tom developing?" Kathryn thought she'd bring some reality into B'Elanna's fantasies.

"The fly boy is kinda cute isn't he?" B'Elanna was trying not to let the conversation get too serious.

"Tom's a good guy, B'Elanna. He only seems immature and irresponsible, but when it really matters, you can always count on him."

"He's always been very responsible when he's cared for Naomi, and he's made their time together a lot of fun. I'd bet he'd make a great father." Samantha affirmed Kathryn's statements.

**Holodeck 2: Sandrines**

The boys gathered their beers from the bar and headed over to the pool table. As far as holographic pool tables go, Tom had done an excellent job designing the one they were using this day. He designed it at an 8 foot professional table. While the table was only a hologram it had the appearance of a wooden frame with hand carved designs on the body and legs. The off white felt cover was in direct contrast to the brilliant cherry wood.

Taking a pool cue and setting up to play his first round against Tom, Chakotay spoke. "So Tom, I knew I owed you an apology, but I didn't know how much so until I had a recent talk with Kathryn. It seems I not only owe you an apology but a debt of gratitude as well. I honestly can't tell you how embarrassed I am to, not only have jumped to the conclusion I jumped to, but to have treated you so unfairly."

"Don't worry about it Chakotay, I have to take care of the lives that belong to me, remember?" Tom smiled slyly at Chakotay, knowing that it bothered the man that he owed his life to Tom.

Chakotay sighed, it was one thing for Tom to claim his life, but now he had saved his daughter too. That day that Chakotay himself had almost caused his daughter's … no he couldn't think about it. Now his daughter's life was Tom's too. "Tom, I know now what you and Kathryn were arguing about that day, but on that day I was so full of jealousy that the universe was skewed and twisted for me." He sighed at the painful memories. "After what happened between Kathryn and me she wouldn't even _look_ at me. She _never _called me by my name, only my rank. She only discussed ship's business with me; she ignored my pleas to try to work something out. I started noticing every time she put her hand on your shoulder and soon after I noticed you coming and going from her quarters. That day I heard you raise your voice at her; I could hear your voices from my quarters, something about a man's right to choose to be a father. I was so irrational with jealousy that when she told me she was pregnant I assumed it was your child." Chakotay shook his head and chuckled in a bitter, humorless fashion. "I insulted her, I told her… awful things, Tom. She slapped me and… well you know what happened. I didn't realize that you were insisting that she tell me about the baby. I didn't realize that you had been looking after her… and my child all that time. I am in your debt, and I am sorry for the way I treated you." Harry had been standing back listening to Chakotay's admissions of jealousy and wrong doing, and his anger at the man had begun to dissipate but he still had misgivings.

"You mean to tell me she was keeping the pregnancy from you?" Harry said in disbelief.

"Yes."

"I can't believe that Commander!"

"It's true Harry, she was going on three months when she finally told him." Tom confirmed Chakotay's story.

Tom wanted to lighten the mood and address Chakotay's apology so he said, "Don't worry about it big guy, just officiate at my wedding to B'Elanna and we'll call it even, ok?"

"You're marrying B'Elanna?!" Chakotay and Harry both answered in surprise.

"Uhh… well I guess, if she says yes when I ask her. Why Commander, do you want to make it a double wedding?" Tom asked with a smirk.

"Well it won't be easy for me to officiate if I'm getting married in the same ceremony."

**Holodeck 1: Tropical Beach in the Bahamas**

B'Elanna steered the conversation away from herself, and this time the possibility having Children with Tom. "So Cap… uh Kathryn, are you going to take Chakotay up on his _suggestion_ that you get married and let the rest work itself out?"

"I think a good old fashioned wedding would boost morale; it would show the crew that life continues aboard_ Voyager_. That even if we are a long way from Earth we can still have a home." Now Samantha was getting emotional.

"Samantha? I don't understand." Said the Captain confused, "you are so far from your husband, Naomi's father, how can this ship can be your home?"

"Naomi has people who love her, people who love_ us. _If I denied that I would be doing a terrible injustice to her, and I'd be making myself and my daughter very bitter. We have people who love us, a whole quadrant of possibilities, and while we want to get back to her father, I can't deny her the life or the family she has here on _Voyager_. This is home, Captain, even if we eventually get back to Earth, for now_ this_ is home."

_This is home. _ Those words had led her to this place in her life. She watched Naomi happily throwing sand up into the air and running back and forth on the sand, happy to enjoy the moment she was living. Maybe there was a lesson to be learned in the innocence of a child. Maybe her home was in the arms of an angry warrior, regardless of where they might find themselves at the time..


	17. Chapter 17

**This should have been included at the end of Chapter 16, some minor revisions have been made to that Chapter as well, sorry about that. **

**Holodeck 2: Sandrine's**

"Are you really planning on marrying B'Elanna, Tom?" Harry looked at his friend.

"Yeah, I am. I'm just not sure she's ready yet." Tom said as he concentrated on sinking a solid ball. Chakotay had practically cleared the table of stripes and he was desperately trying to catch up.

"I'm not sure _you're_ ready for her yet." Joked Chakotay. "When do you plan on asking her?"

"I think I'll let you take that leap first big guy" Tom quipped. "So when exactly are you and the Captain going to tell the crew? She's started to show and I think people might start talking soon if they haven't already."

"I think she's planning a meeting tomorrow evening in Cargo Bay 1. We just aren't sure exactly what to say to them yet."

"You'll think of something, Commander." Harry said then turned to Tom. "Tom, I think it's my turn now you've lost three games straight."

Tom handed Harry the pool cue and went off to order another round of beers.

**Holodeck 1: Tropical Beach in the Bahamas**

"Kathryn?" B'Elanna said snapping her out of her thoughts.

"What?"

"You haven't answered the question, are you and Chakotay going to get married?" B'Elanna wondered what was going on in the Captain's mind.

"I don't know B'Elanna, I think he wants to. I want to, but I wish my mother and my sister could be there when I do get married."

"So when you get us back to Earth you renew your vows and have another wedding with your family there." B'Elanna thought that was a simple enough solution.

"I think it's a wonderful idea." Agreed Samantha.

"Now Captain… er Kathryn, you know you're not exactly hiding your pregnancy in that bathing suit." B'Elanna thought it was best to be clear.

Kathryn chuckled. "I brought a cover up, that's how I got here in the first place."

"What I mean is… let's face it you're showing now. You need to tell the crew, if they haven't figured it out already."

"Yes, I know, I'm calling a meeting for the entire crew in Cargo Bay 1 tomorrow. I just don't know what we'll say to them yet."


	18. Chapter 18

**I still own nothing. None of the Voyager characters belong to me I only wish they did. I still don't make any money, I only wish I did. And I still appreciate those who R&R. Thanks.**

* * *

Crew members poured into the large and mostly empty room. A small podium sat center, close to the wall opposite the entrance. A few yards to the right of the podium was a table, presumably there for the senior staff. The bobbing waves of bodies continued floating in, bringing with them cheerful chatter. It had been a little over a week since they had dealt with the swarm and their efforts now centered on gathering supplies and moving toward home. While it was good to be able to relax, holodeck time was shared, and therefore limited, and starships weren't exactly like cruise ships, activities were limited as well. With few real activities to keep the crew occupied gossip became a favorite pastime.

There were speculations on the nature of this "town meeting", there was talk of who was caught in another's quarters, who never returned what was borrowed, and of course the favorite, who the members of the senior staff were involved with. The stories passed along from crewman to crewman were far more exciting than the reality had ever been, at least in most cases. Most of the crew understood this fact and expected rumors to harbor a truth that had been wildly exaggerated.

The senior staff assembled at the table waiting for sea of crewmen to complete their entry. Closest to the podium, on the far left of the table, sat the Captain followed by her First Officer, then Tuvok, B'Elanna, Tom, and finally Harry. When she was satisfied that everyone was present the Captain stood, slightly adjusting her uniform and holding her hands in front of her, a bit self-conscious about her growing abdomen. The rest of her gave every indication of the same self-assured and confident Captain the crew had always known. Her Captain's image, with squared shoulders, controlled facial expressions, and confident gait, radiated the authority of an accomplished leader.

She took her place at the wooden podium equipped with an old fashioned microphone. She sighed thinking that she never should have let Tom make the preparations for this meeting. She took a breath and began her speech on community and the need for activities. Samantha's words had gotten her thinking about how communities made their members feel at home, and how they survive and thrive. Every healthy community had community activities, her crew had not been meant to become a community, but it was now, and had been for over two years. She explained her plan to implement a monthly dance, a regular pool tournament and some sports competitions every few weeks. Neelix and Kes would arrange the dances with some input from Tom as to what a real party should look like. Anyone interested in sports could see Tuvok or B'Elanna, and anyone could join any time a new competition was announced. Tom would, of course, coordinate the pool competitions. She informed them that the winners of the competitions would be awarded prizes and reminded them that gambling was not allowed; knowing full well that Tom probably had already started taking bets. She then informed the crew that there was just one more thing she needed to say. She took a breath, ready to tell the crew when she felt his hand on her shoulder and his breath on her ear. "Can I say something to them first, please?" He whispered to her. She was surprised by his sudden move; he had not mentioned speaking to the crew himself. Caught off guard she simply nodded in agreement.

"Commander Chakotay, would like to say a few words first."

She sat down, outwardly in perfect control, inwardly nervous about what he would say. He started his speech. "Some time ago I met a woman while I was on an away mission. She was an amazing woman, bold, caring, playful, beautiful, with a gift for gardens, an amazing smile, and incredible inner strength. She left me before I completed my work on that plant." There were a few low gasps heard through the crowd. The Captain's eyes were locked on Chakotay, her eyes slightly narrowed and her expression serious and controlled. The crew members looked back from the Captain to the Commander and a few low voices wondered if the two hadn't been a couple before this. "As luck would have it, however, we've been traveling in the same general direction. I was able to keep track of her for the most part, doing what I could to try to contact her whenever I could. I lost track of her for a little while, but not too long ago_ she_ found me, and I learned that… well… I'm going to be a father." The Captain furrowed her brow and brought her chin down toward her chest for a moment then looked at Chakotay with pursed lips and a hard expression. The crew, however, released surprised gasps and a few ohs. He continued, "I wanted to share that with you, my _Voyager_ family." Then turning to the Captain he said "Captain I'd like permission to take a mate and have my child, my family, live here with me on _Voyager, _until we return to the Alpha quadrant, of course."

"Commander," Janeway inhaled sharply and glanced away momentarily then turned her glare right back at him, "you are aware that all personnel are supposed to obtain authorization from their C.O. and clearance from their doctor before starting any kind of intimate relationship with an alien species, are you not?"

"I'm sorry Captain, at the time I didn't think my relationship would ever be an issue, not for the ship, for Starfleet, or for my _Commanding Officer_." He said quite truthfully.

"I would have preferred to discuss this in private but since you've made this a public issue I think I need to make it clear, not only to you but to the crew, that these regulations are not to be taken lightly." She was making him pay for catching her off guard, he should have let her know if _he_ wanted to be the one to tell the crew. "And what of our limited space and resources commander," she continued "we can only accommodate so many people on this ship. Don't you think that is something that should be considered?" The crowd began mumbling and whispering again, speculating about anger and jealousy as well as expressions of sympathy, some for the Captain, some for the First Officer.

"I am sorry Captain, it wasn't my intention to violate any regulations. I assure you we will run the appropriate calculations and seek your approval before any more children are created… but for now this child already exists. Captain I need to know if you will allow me to have my family on _Voyager._" The Captain rose out of her chair, crossed her arms and took a few steps towards her First Officer

"This isn't a passenger ship, is there anything she can contribute?"

"She is very wise, and she has many talents, I'm sure she would be useful in several of the ships departments." He said confidently.

"Tell me Commander if this _woman_..." at the word _woman, _very low collection of mumbles and gasps assured that _woman_ wasn't quite the word she _really_ wanted to use to refer to Chakotay's love interest, but the Captain had continued talking, and the quiet quickly returned to the room. _ "..._isn't allowed to come aboard and join us as your mate is she willing to have _you_ join _her_, and are her people willing to accept you?" She challenged. The scowl on her face told the crew he shouldn't be pressing his luck.

"Captain I'd be willing to stay behind for her. Any M-class planet will do, even if we had to live on an uninhabited planet for the rest of our lives. As long as I'm with her I'll be happy. So if I need to hand over my resignation in order to be with the woman I love just say the word Captain." The entire crew now stood in silence, staring at the Command Team, mouths open in disbelief.

She took a few steps toward him. "I would hate to lose my First Officer," she said thoughtfully and morosely, "so your resignation will not be necessary. You have permission to take a mate, but there will be consequences to your actions, Commander."

He took the necessary steps to meet her half way between the podium and the table. There in full view of the entire crew he dropped to one knee took her hand in his and said, "Kathryn Janeway, I would follow you to the farthest reaches of the universe, I would happily be marooned on a desert island _or planet_ so long as you were by my side. You are all I need to be complete. Will you marry me?"

A series of shocked gasps rolled through the crew. She stared at him momentarily with the hard expression still on her face. Then slowly her countenance transformed and a smile spread across her face, a happy expression replaced the angry, somber one. With watery eyes she nodded and whispered "yes". No one heard her say it except Chakotay. At the very moment the crew deciphered the meaning of her nod the cargo bay rumbled with the sounds of applause, whoops, cheers and shouts of _Yeah!_

Chakotay stood, and wrapping his arms around her he kissed her; a slow sensual kiss, during which she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body to his, in a most public show of affection. As soon as they pulled slightly apart ending the kiss he whispered, "I told you they'd take it well."

The crew began to congratulate them, patting Chakotay on the back and shaking his hand and hugging Kathryn. Tom and B'Elanna signaled to Neelix, who started bringing in tables and buffet trays with the help of several crewmen. When Mike Ayala came up to congratulate the couple he hugged both the Captain and his good friend, Chakotay. He started to walk away and suddenly stopped. He turned around quickly and shouted, "Wait a minute… wait a _minute_!" The room fell silent again. "Does this mean you… Captain you're… are you going to have a _BABY?_" Kathryn nodded with a smile and eyes watery with tears that were threatening to fall. Ayala ran back and lifted the Captain off of her feet and spun her around. "Congratulations Captain that is wonderful!" The cargo bay filled with laughter momentarily, before it died down into happy chatter.

Chakotay chuckled at his friend's overzealous response. He then faked a serious look and said, "Mike you know this is my baby, not yours." pulling Kathryn close to him with one hand around her waist and one hand on her abdomen he continued. "Unless there is something you want to tell me." He raised an eyebrow at Mike.

Mike laughed and said, "Nothing to tell Commander; I'm just happy for you two. _Although_" he continued playfully," she is a beautiful woman, and we both know _you _don't deserve her." Turning to the Captain he said. "So just let me know if he isn't treating you right Captain, I'll set him straight." With that he kissed her hand and walked away.

Suddenly Tom's voice came over the speakers. "Ladies and Gentlemen, while the tables and the buffet dinner are being set up the lovely Captain and the Commander will be taking their leave. However, the newly engaged, Kathryn and Chakotay, will be returning shortly to begin the celebration. We will be offering a buffet style dinner and the couple will be dancing the first dance of the evening. So if everyone would please change out of their uniforms, civilian evening wear is the preferred attire for the evening. I'll see everyone back here in approximately forty-five minutes."

Realizing what was said about half the crew dashed out to go change. A real party with civilian evening wear had never been done aboard Voyager before. It seemed that every replicator on board was busy producing evening gowns for the many female crewmen onboard. While the guys looked at each other and asked, "Did he mean suit,or tux?" Eventually most determined that he meant for the men to wear tuxedos and did just that.

Chakotay led Kathryn back to her quarters. As soon as the doors closed he pulled her close and kissed her. His hands ran down her back, pressing her body to his. Pulling her mouth away from his, and pressing her forehead to his she said, "You could have warned me!"

"That would have ruined the surprise." He grinned then leaned down, lightly kissing her neck.

"What if I hadn't played along?" She countered wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I knew you would." His confidence reflected in his smile.

"How did you know I would?"

"Same way you knew_ I_ would when you were teasing Harry."

He gave her another deep and passionate kiss.

"You know I've never made love to my Captain in the Captain's quarters before? Why do we make love when you come to me in my quarters but in your quarters I only get to hold you until you fall asleep?" He made a point of looking her in the eyes as he asked.

"I… I don't know." She was at a loss for an answer.

"Well Kathryn we can fix that. Besides, you heard Tom, civilian evening wear for tonight's celebration. I'll just help you get out of that uniform."

She giggled and said "I also heard him say we were coming back to start the party."

"We will, but no one will worry if we're a little late." With that he pulled her into her bedroom and led her to her bed.

An hour later they were in the cargo bay, he in his tuxedo, and she in her silky black evening gown, celebrating, on a first name basis with their crew.

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**Please share your thoughts. Thanks.**


	19. Chapter 19

**I still own nothing and make no money.**

** I've decided to continue the story. Reviews are most appreciated.**

**Enjoy!**

XXXXX

"They look so happy, and the Captain looks gorgeous in that dress! I don't think I ever imagined her being so… so…"

"Human?" Tom finished B'Elanna's thought.

"Yes, I guess that's it. These last couple of months though… she's… she's not who I thought she was, not at all." B'Elanna continued.

"That's because all she would allow you to see was _The Captain_. I think it's easy to lose yourself in who you are at work when you are on the job constantly." The last part was said in a tone B'Elanna considered condescending and she shot him an angry look. "I just mean that she hasn't really had the opportunity to be Kathryn, the person, she has to be _Captain_ Janeway all the… you know what, never mind." B'Elanna wouldn't understand. Tom and Kathryn had been raised to understand how the public persona had to always be the professional Starfleet Officer. Even the pressures of growing up Starfleet brats and living up to expectations meant putting on a public face and keeping much of themselves hidden.

"I get it Tom, I'm not stupid." Snapped B'Elanna. "I always knew there was a woman behind the Captain's mask; it's just that that woman isn't what I thought she'd be. "

The cargo bay was alive with laughter and joy. Women in heals and evening gowns twirled and glided gracefully across the makeshift dance floor. Men in tuxedos admired the beautiful women and enjoyed the newfound laughter they exuded. None, however, more than Chakotay admired Kathryn. His hands never losing contact with some part of her in the entire night.

Harry sauntered over to where Tom and B'Elanna stood. "The Captain looks happy." He said flatly.

"She sure does." Paris stated. "You're not still angry at Chakotay are you?"

"Yes, I guess I am a little." Harry Kim admitted. "I'll get over it, I think."

"Hi Harry." Came a small voice from behind him.

As Harry turned around and the group saw who it was Tom held his hand out toward B'Elanna. "Would the most beautiful woman in the room do me the honor of dancing with me?"

B'Elanna reached out for Tom's extended hand and said "See you later, Harry, Kes."

He nodded at Tom and B'Elanna then said "Hi Kes." He turned back to look at the Captain and Commander. "Are you having fun tonight, Kes?"

"I'd be having more fun if you'd ask me to dance Harry." Kes said shyly.

"Oh… uh… ok, would you like to dance with me?"

"I'd love to." Kes responded. As he led her across the dance floor his gaze kept turning to the Command Team causing Kes to frown. "They look happy don't they?" She forced a smile. "She's a lucky woman."

"I'd say he's the lucky one." Harry retorted and Kes' frown returned.

After a few minutes of silence Kes spoke again. "Harry would you like to go on a picnic with me? I have some holodeck time, and I'd love some good company." Kes thought she'd take the chance.

"Uh, sure when?"

"Anytime you're free. The nice thing about being exiled to the hydroponics bay is that the schedule is flexible. The orchids don't mind if you take a later shift." She responded.

"Exiled? I thought you wanted to run the hydroponics bay? Wasn't the whole thing your idea?" Harry was surprised by her bitter tone.

"Yes, but I wanted to train to work in sick bay, too. At the time I didn't realize I had to pick only one. " Kes was definitely sounding bitter.

"Talk to the Captain I'm sure she'll let you work some shifts in sick bay. We can always use more trained medics, and she likes her crew to be happy."

"You think very highly of her don't you Harry?" Harry just nodded, feeling uncomfortable with the conversation. Kes narrowed her eyes as she stared at Kathryn Janeway; Harry worshiped her. Kes didn't.

XXXXX

Samantha Wildman and Kathryn Janeway looked around at the new child care room. It was lovely, bright and cheery, with so many things to keep little ones busy. There was a cot for Naomi to nap in, and a crib for when the Captain's baby would need it. She had chosen Crewman Tal Celes and Ensign Harper to be in charge of the child care room and Captain Janeway had approved it. Now in just under an hour the room would be used for the first time.

Captain Janeway was happy that the child care room was only a few meters away from her own quarters. In an emergency it would only take a few extra seconds to stop there before reporting to the bridge. Yet the idea that the children wouldn't be in a more secure location still plagued her.

When Chakotay quietly approached from behind them he heard her comment, "Maybe we should have some kind of emergency safety plan." He wrapped his arms around her waist, letting his hands come to rest on her abdomen, and kissed her neck gently.

"Are you still worrying about the security of the children?" He asked patiently

"Yes."

Samantha Wildman laughed lightly. "Well Captain, Commander, I'm due at my station soon. Tal will be here with Naomi after she feeds her breakfast at the mess hall. I'll leave you two to handle child care security."

"The work crews are finishing up our new "apartment" at this very moment." Chakotay whispered into Kathryn's ear.

She already knew this, of course. "Are they? Do I still have a desk and living area of my own or do we have to share?"

"You have your own living room equipped with its own desk and replicator Captain, the only thing we have to share is a small kitchen area and a bedroom," then after a very brief pause, "and the bathtub. I think that is the first thing we need to test. I've never taken a bath with my Captain before." He teased as she chuckled.

"Uhh Umm!" The sound of B'Elanna's fake throat clearing interrupted. "Captain, Commander, your new quarters are ready."

"Thank you, B'Elanna. It'll be nice to move out of guest quarters and back into our own space."

"That's what you say now Captain. Wait until you've had to share a closed space with Chakotay for a while. You'll be begging me to rebuild the wall between your quarters." She joked.

Chakotay faked a hurt look, "Well, you should see what it's like to share a space with B'Elanna. It's like having an annoying little sister nagging you constantly."

"Careful kids, I just might have to send you to your rooms if you can't start getting along." The Captain said in jest as she walked down to corridor to inspect the newly renovated quarters.

XXXXX

The possibility of a wormhole leading to the Alpha Quadrant had excited the entire crew. After realizing, however, that a local planet was being exploited by Alpha quadrant Ferengis the decision was made to take the two Ferengis with them. The Ferengis were brought to the ship and were being escorted to secured quarters when they attacked the guard and escaped.

Kes walked onto the bridge just as it was all unfolding. The Ferengi shuttle escaped out of the cargo bay and headed back toward the planet. Attempts to tractor the shuttle were undermined by the gravitational pull of the wormhole. When the Farengi issued a graviton pulse to further complicate _Voyager's_ attempts to tractor their shuttle, and prevent _Voyager_ from transporting them, the graviton pulse began to destabilize the wormhole. As the wormhole destabilized the Ferengi ship was pulled in. The Captain orderedTom Paris to fly _Voyager_ in after them, as this was their only way back to the Alpha Quadrant. Kes closed her eyes in concentration; suddenly _Voyager's _thrusters were off line and the Command Team's console short circuited. Luckily neither the Captain nor the Commander were hurt. The wormhole destabilized and began jumping erratically; making it impossible to predict where it would appear again or where it would now lead.

Kes had never expected to live to see the Alpha Quadrant, after all her life expectancy was only eight years. She was already three. She had intended to live her entire life in exciting exploration. She knew that in her short life she would only have one shot at any given experience, and one experience in particular was going to take some doing. She had one year to secure a mate if she was ever to have a child; she wanted Harry Kim to be that mate. Arriving in the Alpha Quadrant now just wouldn't do, she needed _Voyager_ to continue it's journey. She smiled to herself, having accomplished her goal, as she quietly slipped off of the bridge.


	20. Chapter 20

**I still don't own the characters, or anything Voyager related, or anything at all for that matter. I still don't make any money.**

**Enjoy the story, and please share your thoughts and suggestions. Thanks.**

* * *

"Is something bothering you B'Elanna?" Tom's voice interrupted B'Elanna's recall of the previous evening's dreams. Ever since _Voyager _had agreed to transport a group of Enarans back to their home planet of Enara, B'Elanna had been having some very vivid dreams.

"No why?" Her voice was sharp. She continued on her hurried way down the corridor without a moment's pause or hesitation.

"Well for one thing I have to break into a run in order to have a conversation with you!" Tom responded with slight annoyance.

"The hologrid in holodeck two is "on the fritz", as you like to say, and the holodeck is booked up for the entire day. If I don't get it fixed the crewmembers that planned a relaxing day off won't be too happy about it, Tom!" She snapped as she continued heading for the holodecks.

"Well, are we still on for tonight?" Tom raised his voice as he had stopped walking, but B'Elanna had continued on.

"I don't know Tom I might turn in early; I'm having a hell of a day." She retorted as she kept walking. Her mind fluttered back to the dream of a man sneaking into her window. He was in love with her, well not her, but Korenna, the woman she was in her dreams. She could feel his hands on her skin, taste his kisses. She could feel the thrill, the excitement, of having her secret lover come to her in the middle of the night, unbeknownst to her father. He held promises to sweep her away to unknown lands, and take her to uncharted passions, hidden away in the sensual touch of his lips.

B'Elanna shook herself out of the memories of those dreams as she arrived at the holodeck. Harry and Kes were standing at the door looking unhappy. "B'Elanna, will this take long? We've lost twenty minutes of our holodeck time already."

"I'm sure you'll be compensated your time Harry! It's not like I broke the damn thing myself just to keep you and Kes from your hot date." she said harshly. She sighed then said, "I'm sorry, Harry. I don't know how long it'll take yet. Let me run a diagnostic and I'll let you know. You could give me a hand since you're here anyway." She smiled at him. B'Elanna liked Harry; he was like a naïve younger brother. Harry nodded in agreement and was about to join B'Elanna when she added, "That is if Kes doesn't mind of course." She looked over at Kes.

"I don't mind at all, if it'll get the holodeck running so we can have our picnic."

"Janeway to Torres." B'Elanna's commbadge interrupted.

"Yes Captain." She responded.

"It seems that our guests are having trouble with environmental controls in their quarters. They can't seem to adjust the temperatures to adequately account for their needs." The Captain informed B'Elanna.

"I'll be there as soon as I'm done with holodeck two."

"This matter takes priority B'Elanna, the holodeck can wait. Janeway out." The Captain's voice was firm and her order final. B'Elanna looked apologetically at Harry and Kes.

"I'm sorry; I'll get back here as soon as I can. In the meantime why don't you and Kes have a picnic in the hydroponics bay? It's the closest thing we have to a garden. I'll comm you when I get back." B'Elanna said as she walked off to complete the Captain's request.

"Come on Harry. Let's have that picnic in the hydroponics bay. I'm sure the Captain will be keeping her busy for a while." Kes had been feeling guilty about the incident on the bridge. When she tried to sabotage_ Voyager_ she hadn't truly believed it would work. While she was pleased to see that it had worked she had also begun to feel guilty. It was still true that she didn't want them to find a way home, which would mean she wouldn't have a chance to start a family with Harry, or continue exploring space for the rest of her life. Kes just hadn't expected her thoughts to become reality; she hadn't realized how strong her telepathic powers really were. This had caused her some distress, especially at the thought that the Captain and the Commander could have been hurt. She hadn't wished to hurt anyone. Now, however, she was growing increasingly irritated with the Captain, and that guilt she had felt wasn't quite as strong.

XXXXX

Kes and Harry walked back to Kes' quarters after their picnic. Kes couldn't hide her happiness at the afternoon's turn of events.

_They sat on a blanket spread out across the floor. Several food items were miraculously materialized from inside a picnic basket. When both reached for a bread roll their hands met, as they glanced up at each other they noticed their proximity to one another. Knowing how shy Harry was Kes leaned in towards him, bringing their faces only centimeters away from each other. Harry got the hint and closed the gap. The result was a soft, sweet, albeit short kiss. Harry and Kes both smiled at each other shyly and continued on with their meal._

Arriving at the door to Kes' quarters Harry asked, "Will you be going to the mess hall tonight? There is supposed to be some kind of event for the Enarans this evening."

"I don't know, you know I avoid Neelix whenever I can. He can't seem to understand that I couldn't make a commitment to him when we dated. I was only _one_ at the time. I certainly didn't know what I would want in a mate in the future. I think now at three I'm finally starting to figure it out." She gave Harry a small smile and ran her finger from his shoulder down his chest as she melodiously manifested the last sentence. This move was rather bold and uncharacteristic of her, but she wanted Harry to understand that she wanted more from him.

"So come with me, as my date. I would be honored to escort you to the event." At his words Kes beamed. That was _exactly_ what she wanted to hear.

"That would be fantastic, Harry. I'll be ready at 1900 hours."

Harry nodded his agreement and lifted her hand in his and gave it a slow and careful kiss. "I'll see you tonight." He promised.

As Harry left Kes' quarters he ran into Tom walking in the corridor. "Harry, have you seen B'Elanna?"

"No, , last I saw her she abandoned the holodeck repairs and went off to adjust the temperature for the Enarans. That was hours ago." Harry reported the morning's events dryly.

"The holodeck? Maybe she finally got a chance to get back to it. Thanks Harry." Tom ran off to the holodeck in the hopes of finding B'Elanna. If he had to go to this function he should at least have her with him.

"B'Elanna?" He called as he entered the holodeck. A tropical island beach program was playing. There was a scantily clad waiter hitting on B'Elanna as she tried to manipulate the control panel on the wall. The hologram was getting quite aggressive while B'Elanna was working furiously on the panel.

"Hey, leave the lady alone!" Tom shouted at the holographic waiter as he quickly approached them. Tom knew it was a hologram, but his jealously and protective instincts got the best of him. "I said leave her alone before I make you!" He pushed the hologram away from B'Elanna.

"Tom, it's just a hologram." B'Elanna chided.

"Computer freeze hologram." Tom demanded.

B'Elanna sighed. "Tom I'm trying to fix him. I can't tell if he's fixed if he's not running."

"Is this what's taking so long? Just delete this character and insert another one." Tom said, believing he had come up with the easiest most obvious solution.

"That's just it, _all _the characters' personality traits, from every program, are being manifested in the most extreme ways, but only in this holodeck. To be honest with you I think he might be the safest one to have around while I try to fix the problem." B'Elanna continued to work for a few seconds as she talked then she stopped. "I need to see if my adjustments worked, reactivate him."

"Ok, but first, are you still going with me to the mess hall tonight? You know for that event for the Enarans." Tom asked hopefully.

"Oh, Tom I have to make up my time from being late this morning and I've had a rough day. I think I'll pass. I need to rest." Tom couldn't help but notice that she even sounded tired.

"You were late? You've never been late to a shift. That's kinda my thing not yours." Tom was in disbelief.

"Yeah, well I overslept, ok. I've had these strange dreams ever since the Enarans came aboard and I can't seem to wake up when I'm having them. I slept right through my alarm, and Chakotay's comm, and even my door chime. Chakotay finally let himself in and woke me himself. Now will you please reactivate my flirty waiter?" B'Elanna said impatiently.

"Wait, what kind of dreams are they?"

_Damn! He caught on even faster than Chakotay did._ She could tell by the tone of his voice that he already knew that the dreams had a sexual component to them.

"In the dreams I'm an Enaran woman in love with an Enaran man. I don't know who either of them are, as far as I can tell they aren't any of the Enarans onboard. The dreams feel real though, like I'm living it, not just dreaming it." She became quiet and somewhat distant with the words.

"I heard that they have some telepathic abilities, maybe we should go to this thing and find out more." Tom said hopefully.

"No. I'm too tired, Tom. I'm going to try to rest. If you find anything out let me know." Then she said to the computer, "Computer reactivate character." Then back to Tom. "I'll make it up to you next weekend, if this damned holodeck is working by then. " She smiled at him and followed the smile up with a quick peck on the lips.

"Ok, I guess I'll be the third wheel with Harry and Kes. That better be some weekend." He said with the crooked grin she loved so much.

"It will be flyboy." She teased. With that Tom exited the holodeck.

B'Elanna turned to the waiter and muttered something about him behaving himself to which the holographic waiter just blinked and smiled. _Oh great!_ She thought. _Now he has no personality._ She sighed and continued working. An hour later, with the holodeck finally working again, she was ready for a hot shower, with real water, and a good night's sleep.

XXXXX

Tom, Harry, and Kes walked into the mess hall to a party of sorts that was already in progress. The Captain sat before the Enaran leader who was playing some type of musical instrument while Chakotay mingled with the crew and their guests. This had often been the way the Captain and Commander had functioned in the past. They would arrive to an event together, split up and mingle separately, making sure the crew received attention from both of them, and making especially sure that any high ranking alien guests received plenty of the Captain's attention. At some point they would come together again, and occasionally would leave together. It was good to see that they were sticking to this strategy, although nobody expected them to ever leave separately again.

"Hello, welcome, welcome! I'm so glad you made it, especially you Kes." Neelix spoke enthusiastically. Kes quickly linked her arm with Harry's and smiled at Neelix.

"It's good to see you too, Neelix." Then she turned to face Harry. "Harry dear, could you find me something to drink please?"

"Of course, I'll be right back" He responded.

Neelix's face fell. As Harry walked off Tom excused himself from the situation and left the two alone. "You and Mr. Kim?" Neelix asked. Kes nodded. "I see, well I always liked Mr. Kim, I suppose it could be worse. You could be dating Mr. Paris. Well, I hope he makes you happy Kes. You know I'll always be here for you in any way I can. I'll always be your friend; you don't have to avoid me." He said sincerely.

"Thank you, Neelix. I'm sorry I've avoided you, it's just that you didn't take the break up well and I thought it was best to give you some space."

"I know, but you don't have to do that anymore. I'll be just fine." He spoke slowly, softly, sadly, and honestly. Kes smiled and hugged him.

"I'm so glad I've missed your friendship. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to Harry." Kes said quickly. She had noticed a young Enaran female speaking to Harry, flirting with him, and inviting him to sit with her. Harry was all smiles at the attention the Enaran was giving him. Kes made her way to them and sweetly asked Harry if he had gotten her that drink she asked for. He responded by handing her the drink in his hand and excusing himself with the Enaran female. He took Kes' hand and left the Enaran woman sitting on her own.

Suddenly the room fell silent. The Captain was playing the alien instrument expertly while Jor Brel, the Enaran leader, stood behind her seemingly controlling her actions as she played. Captain Janeway suddenly broke the connection and gasped loudly as she seemingly snapped out of the trance. Tuvok, who was sitting beside the Captain, stood up quickly concerned for her. "Captain?" He called out.

"I'm alright." She responded as Chakotay came up beside her.

"Kathryn, are you sure?" He inquired. Chakotay knew that as Captain she wouldn't appreciate him treating her as if she were frail, or weak; so he restrained himself from reacting more dramatically.

"Yes, yes I'm fine. I just didn't expect him to share his knowledge of music so directly." She explained. Jor Brel apologized and explained that he thought the Captain understood that he was making a telepathic link with her to share his musical experiences. As he continued to explain Tom listened in. In this way Tom learned that the Enarans telepathy consisted mostly of the ability to share experiences, memories really, with others with whom they had established a link. This could be what was happening to B'Elanna.


	21. Chapter 21

Kathryn rubbed her extended abdomen through her night gown as she sat on the edge of the bed she now shared with Chakotay. "I feel so much bigger ever since I started wearing a maternity uniform." She announced to Chakotay.

"You mean ever since we told the crew. " He moved to sit beside her. "You're beautiful. There is no need to be self-conscious."

"I guess a part of me is still ashamed that, as the Captain I should be setting an example, and look at me, the first to breach protocol and get pregnant on this mission. Not exactly a shining example for our crew. And for the record _you_ told the crew."

Chakotay laughed. "I'm sure you weren't the first to breach the fraternization protocol. I'm pretty sure that was breached the first week out." He smirked knowingly at her. "Besides we didn't purposely breach protocol. We were left behind. There was no longer a command structure. It's not like we knew _Voyager_ was coming back for us."

She bit her lip and looked away for a moment. She had one more thing to feel guilty about. She _had_ purposely breached protocol. She went to his bed knowing _Voyager_ was on its way back. _He_ didn't know, she had kept it from him then and she wasn't ready to come clean now.

"You were simply the first to become pregnant, that's all. Well, we can't be sure of that either, I mean if someone decided to terminate a pregnancy we wouldn't ever know."

She stared at Chakotay a bit horrified. "Samantha was afraid when she found out. She thought I would be angry, or that I might demand that she terminate her pregnancy. Do you think others may have terminated pregnancies because they were afraid to tell me? I don't think I could live with that!"

"No, Kathryn." He responded patiently. "_If _anyone onboard chose to terminate a pregnancy it would have been their own personal decision. Now, are you really telling me that you are ashamed of our child?" He placed his hand on her belly.

"No! Of Course not." She frowned for a moment then continued, "I'm ashamed of not having lived up to my own expectations. I'm ashamed that it's obvious that I broke protocol. I'm ashamed that I didn't maintain my professionalism. I could never be ashamed of you, or our child. However, as far as our daughter is concerned, I don't think I have a right to be this happy out here in the Delta quadrant, while so many are miserable being so far from home." Kathryn had a way of letting guilt get to her.

"We are a family now Kathryn and I don't mean just you and me. I mean _Voyager, _the whole crew. We share joy and pain and we stand by each other. Everyone was happy for us at our engagement party, you need to let yourself be happy for us, too." He leaned in and kissed her.

She broke away for a moment and said, "I am happy, very happy."

"By the way, I'm starting work on the nursery soon, maybe even tomorrow. Do you have any special requests or shall I just surprise you?"

"I've seen your work, Chakotay. You're a wonderful craftsman; surprise me." She responded as she ran her fingers through his hair. As she leaned in to kiss him again he pulled back slightly.

"One more thing."

"What's that?"

"Are we going to start planning our wedding anytime soon? We have less than three months until our little one is here. Did you want to wait until she comes, or do you want to be married when she does?"

"I hadn't thought about that. So do we get married first and have her born to married parents, or do we wait so our wedding holographs don't show me with a pregnant belly ready to burst. She'll see those pictures one day." Kathryn said thoughtfully.

"Kathryn, she's your daughter, she'll do the math and know she was conceived before the wedding by the time she's five." Chakotay smiled lovingly at Kathryn. "And I've already told you, you look beautiful. We'll do this wedding anyway you want."

"I guess you can start planning a nursery, and I can start planning a wedding. Maybe I should call a senior staff meeting for this." She chuckled. "I think I'm going to need some help with it."

"Maybe you can get the girls together rather than the senior staff. They might be more help in this case." Chakotay pushed her down onto the bed as he spoke and began kissing her neck. She responded to his kisses and thus the evening's conversation came to an end.

XXXXX

B'Elanna rushed down the corridors. Despite her best efforts she had overslept again. On her way to engineering she suddenly faded back into her dream. Kes was walking by when she saw B'Elanna passed out on the deck. She approached her and tried, unsuccessfully, to wake her. She tapped her commbadge, "Kes to sickbay we have a medical emergency." Once in sickbay Kes assisted the doctor bringing him the equipment he requested as he requested it. The Captain, being informed of all medical emergencies onboard, arrived to see what was happening with her Chief Engineer and friend.

"What happened to her?" She demanded.

"She was passed out in the corridor. I tried to wake her but couldn't, so I called in a medical emergency and had her transported here." Explained Kes.

The Captain walked directly up to Kes and placed her hand on the young Ocampan's arm. "Thank you, Kes. I'm glad you were there to help her." Kes smiled nervously at the Captain then continued helping the doctor. The Captain watched in amazement. Kes was efficient and capable in a sickbay.

The doctor woke B'Elanna. "I was dreaming again." She stated.

"Actually you were experiencing implanted memories. There is evidence of telepathic activity as well." Corrected the doctor.

"The Enarans?" Questioned B'Elanna. The doctor gave B'Elanna an inhibitor to suppress the memories. He explained that the memories had been implanted into B'Elanna's subconscious mind. This was why she only experienced the memories while sleeping or unconscious. Unfortunately these memories were causing damage to her brain. The Captain gave B'Elanna a couple of days off so that she could get some rest.

B'Elanna, however, needed answers; she needed to know what happened to Korenna and her lover. When she returned to her quarters she removed the inhibitor and lay down on her bed to sleep.

The Captain lingered in sickbay after ordering B'Elanna to take time off to rest. "Kes?"

"Yes, Captain?" Kes answered as she busied herself putting away the equipment the doctor had used.

"You seem to be a natural here in sickbay." The Captain pointed out. This got Kes' attention, she looked up and faced the Captain. "As you know our sickbay has always been seriously understaffed. As it is Tom works double shifts more often than he should, but in an emergency he's needed at the helm. Do you think you might be interested in learning to be a medic and taking a few shifts here in sickbay? I know I gave you the hydroponics bay, and it would still be yours, but we could really use you here." The Captain was really hoping that Kes would agree.

"Captain, I always wanted to work in sickbay. I thought… I mean, I didn't think you wanted me in sickbay, that's why you gave me the hydroponics bay." Kes was suddenly horrified at the animosity she had held against the Captain.

"I didn't want to take advantage of you by overworking you, Kes. I didn't know you wanted to work in sickbay even after being given charge of hydroponics. Do you think you could manage three to four shifts a week in sickbay without impacting the production of plants and foods? I could see if anyone wants to volunteer to help with the plants as well."

"That would be wonderful, Captain. Harry was right I should have talked to you." Kes realized her mistake.

"Harry is a wonderful person, Kes. I think you two are great for each other. Hold onto him, don't let any females, especially that Enaran, get their claws into him." She smiled at her.

"How did you know about that?" Kes asked astonished.

"The same way I know you've been unhappy with me for some time now, but I didn't know why. I can be very observant at times, Kes. Please, come to me if you have a problem or a request. I can't promise to give you everything you want, but we may find we both want or need the same things."

"Thank you, Captain." Kes hugged Captain Janeway.

XXXXX

Jor Brel, the Enaran leader was toasting the crew of Voyager at the Enaran's farewell party when B'Elanna burst on the scene and interrupted. She had received the last of the implanted memories from Jora Mirell, an Enaran elder. Jora Mirell was Korenna Mirell, and the memories she had given B'Elanna were her own. In the memories B'Elanna saw how Jora Mirell had betrayed the man she loved and taken part in the genocide that eliminated the entire population of people called regressives. Lt. Torres openly accused Jor Brel of murder, of both the regressives, and of Jora Mirell. Torres had left her quarters in search of Jora Mirell when the memories she was experiencing had finally revealed who it was that had lived them. She found Jora Mirell sprawled out on the deck, dying. Mirell's last action was to give B'Elanna the rest of the memories. Without any evidence of either crime, the Captain informed B'Elanna that there was simply nothing to be done. She shared B'Elanna's outrage, but unlike B'Elanna she kept a cool head. The Captain told B'Elanna she probably would have done the same if it had been her experiencing the memories.

B'Elanna left the Captain's ready room remembering all of Korenna's feelings, how much she had loved the man she ultimately turned in to authorities, how she felt as she watched him die, how she covered up and denied her own feelings for him, how she cheered once he was dead. By this time tears were streaming down Torres' cheeks as she ran down the corridor. She arrived at a door and rang the chime. She allowed a few seconds to pass and rang the chime again. The door opened to find Tom Paris in a bathrobe, fresh out of the shower, hair still wet. "Sorry, I was in the shower, I just got off shift." As B'Elanna looked up at him he noticed the tears still running down her face. "B'Elanna… are you ok?" B'Elanna threw herself into his arms and held him tight. "Let's get inside." He said pulling her into his quarters and allowing the doors to close behind him. B'Elanna reached up and grabbed his face between her hands and gave him a long and passionate kiss.

"Tom, I love you." She said through her tears. "Don't ever leave me." She said remembering the death of Korenna's love, as she continued to assault Tom with kisses.

"Whoa, what happened? You're crying. Loving me isn't that bad, is it?" He wiped a tear off of her face. He took in the troubled look in her dark eyes. "Why would I leave you? I love you and I plan to marry you. The real question is what could make a woman, as strong as you are, cry like this?"

"I guess, I haven't been completely myself. I've been living parts of another person's life, and I felt what she felt. What it was like to betray, then lose the man she loved, to watch him die a horrible disfiguring death. I don't want us to ever turn our backs on each other, Tom. We have to believe in each other and trust each other. We're a team no matter what, right?" She searched for an answer in his clear blue eyes.

"Yes, B'Elanna we'll always be a team." She pulled him into another passionate kiss and slid her hands between his smooth skin and soft fabric of his bathrobe as he pulled her even closer. Seeking to connect with him she pressed herself against him, her hands touching his skin, seeking to discover every inch of his body; seeking to claim him as hers.

As she pushed him onto his bed she asked, "Tom, did you really just say you want to get married?"

"Yes, I did. So will you marry me?" He asked smiling up at her.

"Yes." She breathed lowering her lips to engage him in another kiss.

XXXXX

It had been several days since the Enarans left _Voyager_. Kathryn had gathered several female crewmembers at Sandrine's.

"Ladies it seems that today we have a couple of items of business to handle." She announced.

"What is it Captain?" asked Samantha Wildman.

"It's just Kathryn today, Samantha. It seems that I have a wedding to plan and, I seem to be in need of some help. I was hoping you ladies would be willing to help me."

There was a chorus of affirmative responses. "I'm glad to hear it."

"So what's the other thing?" asked Kes.

"The next pool competition will be the ladies against the gentlemen. If the ladies win, we get the use of a holodeck an entire evening for a bridal shower or bachelorette. If the gentlemen win, they get to have a bachelor party in said holodeck. Needless to say, we just can't let the men win. That's why we're here in Sandrine's. We need four two person teams, and we need to start practicing immediately." Kathryn announced.

"Whose crazy idea was this?" B'Elanna asked.

"It was Tom's idea to have a bachelor party. When I objected, the boys presented the idea of a friendly competition, and I agreed. They simply can't be allowed to win." Kathryn said flatly.

"Doesn't sound too friendly to me." Replied B'Elanna.

"Would you prefer to allow Tom to plan and provide the entertainment for Chakotay's bachelor party? You do realize what Tom is capable of, right B'Elanna?" Kathryn raised her eyebrows as she spoke.

B'Elanna sighed. "Ok. I'm in, but we have to guarantee our win without cheating."

"I have some ideas that will give us an edge." replied Kathryn with a smirk. The rest of their allotted holodeck time was spent making rough plans for both the wedding and the pool tournament. The ladies practiced and took directions on how to play from Kathryn. By the end of their meeting teams had been formed. Samantha and Julia Harper would form one team, Kes and Tal another, Mariah Henly and Jenny Delaney would form the third, and Kathryn and her maid of honor, B'Elanna Torres, would form the final team.

XXXXX

Two hours later Tom and Chakotay were in the same holodeck with a group of guys. "So guys all we have to do is beat the ladies at pool and we get to give Chakotay here a real send off from bachelor life. We need four teams of two. This should be a piece of cake, other than the Captain I don't think any of the ladies have ever even held a pool cue." Tom was confident.

"I wouldn't underestimate them Tom. Kathryn makes a fine teacher and B'Elanna may be better at pool than you think." Chakotay warned the helmsman.

"Let's say the two of them can play, there still needs to be six other women playing." Tom was sure they could win.

"I still say we need to form our teams and start practicing if we're going to win this thing, Tom." Chakotay wanted to win for the sake of winning. The bachelor party was less important than the win.

"Agreed."

They formed their teams as follows: Team 1- Jarvis and Pablo Baytart, Team 2- Harry Kim and Tom Paris, Team 3- Kenneth Dalby and Joe Carey, Team 4- Chakotay and Mike Ayala.

The guys spent their holodeck time playing pool, having some beers, and listening to Tom Paris making rough plans for the bachelor party. There would be music and holographic women and plenty of drinking.

XXXXX

"Captain, can I speak with you?" B'Elanna caught up with the Captain as she walked toward her quarters.

"Sure, B'Elanna, come on in." She said as she waved her into her quarters. Even though she shared quarters with Chakotay now, each one of them had an entrance which led into their small private office space where they could meet with crewmembers.

"What's on your mind B'Elanna?" The Captain asked as she took a seat at her desk.

"Tom asked me to marry him and I said yes." B'Elanna blurted out.

"Congratulations, B'Elanna." Kathryn got up to hug her friend. "Come sit on the couch, do you want something to drink?"

"Some tea would be nice." Kathryn ordered two teas from the replicator and sat down beside her friend again.

"I'll be glad when I can drink coffee freely again." Kathryn said sipping her tea. "So are you planning to have the wedding soon?"

"I think we want to wait until after your wedding to announce our engagement. We don't want to steal your thunder, or have to plan two weddings at once. I just wanted you to know and I'd like to ask you to officiate at the ceremony. I would like to ask you to be my maid of honor, but you can't do both, unless..."

"Unless what B'Elanna? I make a clone of myself?" Laughed Kathryn.

"No, but you could be my maid of honor if Chakotay was able to officiate." B'Elanna replied hopefully.

"It's the Captain's place to officiate at weddings. I'd have to make him acting Captain for it to be official."

"What are you doing for your wedding?" asked B'Elanna quizzically.

Kathryn let out a little laugh and with a shake of her head said, "I don't know. I guess I'll have to turn command over to Tuvok for a few days; make him acting Captain. I never thought I'd willingly give up my ship, not even temporarily, but I guess I'll have to do it if I want to marry Chakotay." She smiled at B'Elanna whose face had turned serious. Realizing that she was asking the Captain to give up her ship, even if it was temporarily, B'Elanna regretted having made the request. "Don't worry. If you want Chakotay to officiate at your wedding, then he will, and I would be honored to be your maid of honor. Just tell me that I don't have to plan a bachelorette party with half naked men. That would be unbecoming of a Captain and I will be planning to resume command after the wedding."

"No, I don't need half naked men, Captain. I don't really need a bachelorette party either. I'd prefer a very small wedding, and if a bridal shower or bachelorette is required then I prefer a small get together, maybe another day at the beach with the girls. Nothing extravagant. "

"You know B'Elanna that sounds lovely. It's just too bad we've already got this well publicized bet going with the guys; if we win I guess you'll have to throw a big party for the female population onboard. No naked men, ok B'Elanna?"

"Of course not, Captain. That would be conduct unbecoming of a Starfleet officer. Not that the boy's will care if they win. You know the first thing Tom will program in are the strippers. You're right, Kathryn, we can't let the guys win this one."


	22. Chapter 22

**I apologize for the amount of time it took to get this chapter up. I hope everyone is still enjoying the story. There is more action to come, and soon, I promise.**

* * *

Kes nervously rang the door chime and waited impatiently for the occupant in the room to answer. Tension weighing heavily on her shoulders, she almost changed her mind and walked away when a voice from inside called, "Come in." She stepped into the room.

"Kes, what can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if you could give me more information." Kes asked anxiously.

"What about?"

"The possible bachelor party. Is it true that, virtually naked women will be throwing themselves at all the men?" Kes asked with a frown.

"Well Kes, traditionally men, and even women sometimes, have strippers at their pre-wedding parties."

"I don't think I want Harry going to that. How can the Captain be okay with it? I don't understand." Kes looked quizzically into his dark brown eyes.

"I don't think she likes it much either, Kes. That's why she objected and we ended up with this little contest on our hands. But even if we do win, which we will," he chuckled, "she knows I love her and I wouldn't do anything to hurt or betray her." The Commander explained to Kes.

"Oh. Well, you two are sure about each other. I'm not sure I even have a relationship with Harry yet, but I don't want him touching other women."

Commander Chakotay wasn't sure how he could reassure Kes. What could he say? Tom was planning the party, if they should have one, so he couldn't guarantee than there wouldn't be half naked, or even naked holographic women all over the guys. "Harry is a nice guy, Kes. If he's going out with you he'll keep his hands to himself. Have you thought of talking to B'Elanna or Kathryn about this? They may be able to explain it better than I could."

"Yes. B'Elanna said all men were pigs without exception." Kes affirmed.

Chakotay couldn't help but laugh. "Yes and the one she's marrying is the ring leader!" Then turning serious he reassured her. "Kes it'll be okay. Besides you ladies might win and it'll be us men wondering what you ladies are doing with the half-naked holographic men."

Kes frowned, "B'Elanna's getting married?"

Commander Chakotay realized his slip. "No one knows yet, Kes they haven't made it public. I shouldn't have let that slip out. Can I trust you to keep this to yourself?"

"Of course, Commander." Kes responded before excusing herself. She thought about the bachelor party and concluded that the Captain and B'Elanna were right; they couldn't allow the men to win.

XXXXX

Kathryn Janeway entered the child care room at the end of her shift. She found Ensign Harper reading a book, a real old fashioned kid's paperback book with a lot of bright pictures, to Naomi Wildman. She stood quietly waiting for the story to end. "Captain what can I do for you?" Asked Ensign Harper. Ensign Wildman came in to pick up her daughter as Ensign Harper was speaking.

"I was just coming by to remind you of our last practice and strategy meeting before our pool tournament." Said the Captain addressing both women.

"We'll be there." Answered Ensign Wildman as she took little Naomi in her arms.

"Yes, I'm looking forward to beating the men." Smiled Ensign Harper. "Have the boys been practicing?"

"As far as I can tell, not as much as we have, but then we've been having secret practices, they may be doing the same," The Captain speculated "but don't worry B'Elanna has started implementing part of our plan."

"Isn't that a bit deceitful, Captain? I mean we want it to be a fair game." Samantha was feeling a little guilty about the plan.

"Oh, Samantha, that isn't cheating! We aren't doing anything to rig the game and we certainly aren't making their choices for them. We are just deciding for ourselves." Said the master-of-strategies known to all as Captain Janeway. "Besides," she continued, "we aren't going to tell them any of our strategies, or about our extra practices, and that's not cheating. It's an advantage that is well within the rules of competition for us to take." She declared.

"You know, Samantha, I don't want Freddy…" Ensign Harper glanced nervously at the captain, "I mean Ensign Bristow, pawing any strippers, real or otherwise. I'm all for the Captain's idea. Maybe I wouldn't mind if, like you, I didn't have someone I cared for going to this bachelor party…"

"Miss Harper! I think you should refrain from make snap judgments. Ensign Wildman was only expressing her concerns regarding fair play; it had nothing to do with our relationships with men aboard this ship. Please don't insult her by making unfounded accusations. " The Captain admonished Ensign Harper.

"I'm sorry, Captain. Please forgive me, Samantha." Ensign Harper's eyes were trained on the floor as she spoke. "And for the record I don't have a relationship with Ensign Bristow. I like him but… that's all. I don't know how he feels about me. I just wanted to let you know. I'd hate for word to get around of a relationship that doesn't really exist."

Kathryn laughed out loud. "Well Ensign, I've been in that boat before! Ensign Wildman and I won't say a thing. I have to say, however, I had already noticed the way you look at him and I may not be the only one."

"Captain, what do you mean you've been in that boat?" Ensign Harper looked confused.

"Well, I mean all those rumors about the Commander and me. It seems the whole ship thought we were a couple long before there was anything between us." Explained the Captain.

"I've only heard the rumors in the last year or so, Captain. It was around the time the Commander was lost on that moon with the symbols of his people. I remember you tried to land Voyager on that moon despite the rough weather. It was right after that, that I heard people saying the two of you had finally gotten together." Ensign Harper obviously believed the rumors, and the Captain was clearly unimpressed by her assumptions.

"No, Ensign Harper, the Commander and I had a strictly platonic relationship then, despite the rumors. Now, if you'll excuse me, I promised to meet the Commander for dinner, don't be late for practice Ensigns." The Captain strolled out of the child care room and towards her quarters. In the child care room Ensigns Harper silently scolded herself for her verbal blunders before the Captain.

XXXXX

She saw him approaching their quarters from the opposite direction and decided to meet him at what was once the entrance to his quarters. "Hello, beautiful." He said leaning down to kiss her.

She pulled away from him. "Not out here, not in uniform, Commander."

He frowned and furrowed his eyebrows as he responded with an, "Aye, Captain!" and let them into their quarters. As the doors slid shut behind them he asked, "Can I kiss you now, woman?"

"Yes, now would be good." She answered as she tip toed up to join her lips to his.

After the soft and sweet kiss he said, "Now let's get you out of that uniform so I can kiss you anywhere I'd like."

It was her turn to frown as she gave him a sharp look. She walked past his office and into their common living area, ordered a raspberry tea, and took a seat on the couch. "Do you see what you've done to me, Chakotay? I have to drink tea. Tea! I can't wait to be able have coffee more than once a week again." She muttered dejectedly.

"What? Oh, no you don't! Don't blame this on me. I didn't climb into _your _bed that night, Kathryn. You came to me! Although, if I'd have thought for a second you would have me, or wouldn't kill me anyway, I would have gone to you." He responded with a smirk.

She thought about what he said for a moment and, knowing it was true, she let out a small, "humph", to show her disapproval of his statement. Nonetheless, she decided to move on and change the subject.

"You know, some of the female crewmen aren't too happy about the idea of a bachelor party. Well, not so much the bachelor party itself, but the idea of naked women at the party. It's making them uneasy. We may have to set some basic rules for the party." She remarked, hoping he would agree.

"Why, Kathryn, am I to understand that you believe the men are going to win this little contest of ours?" His smile was wide, taunting her.

"Not at all! Whatever rules are set for them men shall apply to the women as well. However, none of the men have come to me with concerns yet, so I was speaking for the women who have." She explained as she ran her index finger along the rim of her tea cup.

"I see. Well, I think Kes will be just fine, Kathryn. I reassured her that Harry would keep his hands to himself." He said self-satisfied.

"Kes? Oh, no, she has issues with it, too? What are we going to do about this? Why did we let Tom get involved? We should have just had a couples shower and been done with it!" Kathryn lamented.

"Don't worry, we'll set rules. No naked holograms and no private rooms or areas will be allowed. That way everyone stays faithful. What do you think?" His solution was reasonable.

"I think I love you." She said leaning into him for a short chaste kiss, then continued, "And you'd _better_ stay faithful or I'll cancel the wedding and I'll throw you out of the nearest air lock, mister!" And while the humor was evident in her voice Chakotay had to wonder what she would actually do to him if he were unfaithful.

XXXXX

The tournament was to take place a week before the bachelor or bachelorette party, two weeks before the wedding. The first game of the tournament, like all games, was to be determined by a random drawing. One women's team and one men's team would be drawn randomly. Sandrine's was full that night. It seemed as if everyone who was off-shift was there. There was a buzz of excitement in the room along with an overall jovial atmosphere. People talked, drank, and laughed, but when the contest begun a certain amount of tension reigned in the formerly free-flowing carefree atmosphere.

The result of the first drawing was Wildman and Harper against Kim and Paris. Kathryn frowned. Henly, Delaney, and Kes, had been faster learners than Wildman and Harper. Even though Wildman and Harper were now pretty good she didn't think that they were any match for Paris. Her only hope was that Kim would choke. She felt a bit guilty at that thought, then quickly shook the feeling away.

A round of drinks was ordered, daiquiris, or pina coladas for the ladies, beers, rum and cola, or scotch for the guys, and tea for the Captain, of course. A flip of the coin determined the boys would break. Tom let Harry do the honors and not a single ball was sunk. There was hope for the ladies after all.

Samantha sunk three stripes in a row. Chakotay frowned. The ladies were better than they anticipated. Tom tried to make up for Harry's break but the end result was not as good as he'd hoped. He sunk three solids. Julia Harper cleared three more stripes off of the table. _Oh, no-_ thought Tom- _it's Harry's turn_. With the table just about clear of striped balls Harry had some fairly clear shots; he managed to sink two more balls. _Damn, why didn't I give Harry some extra lessons! - _Tom chided himself. But he knew why he hadn't. Being the cocky, over confident person that he was, he simply hadn't expected the ladies to be able to play well enough to beat him, even if his teammate couldn't play well. Samantha sunk the last stripe and contemplated which pocket to call for the eight ball. She walked around the table slowly studying the angles. Tom nervously reached for his empty beer bottle and tried to take a drink. Sandrine took notice. "Here ya go, Tommy." She said, handing him another beer. He thanked her absentmindedly and returned his attention to the game. He almost cheered when Samantha missed. Tom sunk the remaining two solids; however, he scratched as he sunk the second, and therefore had to give Ensign Harper another turn.

Kes had been concentrating all through the game. Willing the billiard balls to travel this way or that, but she found that, despite her concentration, they refused to do her bidding. Maybe she really hadn't caused the thrusters to fail on the bridge that day. The idea brought her relief, easing her guilt, but also some distress, as she had hoped to make certain that the women won this tournament.

Julia Harper sighed with relief as she realized that she could line up a clear shot of the eight ball into a corner pocket. She took the shot and sunk it with ease. Score one for the ladies, zero for the men. The ladies cheerfully ordered another round of drinks, and jolly as they were, replenished the men's drinks as well.

Next Mariah Henly and Jenny Delaney played against Chakotay and Mike Ayala. This time the boys won the coin toss and took a lead right from the break. Chakotay and Ayala were both very skilled players and, even though they were good, Mariah and Jenny didn't have much of a chance.

Kes and Tal gave Jarvis and Baytart a run for their money. In the end only the eight ball remained and both teams had failed to sink it at least once. Jarvis finally took the shot that gave the men the win. Score one for the women, two for the men.

Finally Janeway and Torres played against Dalby and Carey, and while the game was tense for a few moments while Carey had a decent shot at sinking the eight ball, he missed and Kathryn was able to keep her perfect record. She remained Voyager's undefeated billiards master, for the time being. Now there was a tie, two to two. Another round of drinks was ordered.

Kathryn and B'Elanna easily defeated Jarvis and Baytart. Wildman and Harper were no match for Chakotay and Ayala. So it came down to bride vs groom. Kathryn smiled to herself; Chakotay had never beat her at pool, tonight would be no exception.

The game was going well for Kathryn. The table was nearly cleared of all her team's solids, Chakotay and Ayala still had several balls on the table, and Kathryn was up next. She smiled to herself as she sunk the last ball before the eight. She lined up her shot and slowly eased the cue back, but before she could make the shot a jolt shook Voyager and scattered the balls on the table. Kathryn slipped forward and tried to compensate by steading herself on the table and leaning back, but with the bulge of the baby, her center of gravity had shifted from the normal and she lost her balance and fell back.

"Janeway to bridge, report!" She shouted as she lifted herself off of the floor. Chakotay rushed to her side but as he had been standing on the opposite side of the table she was on her feet again when he reached her. She quickly exited the holodeck and headed for the bridge, Chakotay at her heels.

"Captain… I'm not sure…" An Ensign on the bridge stammered.

Thankfully Tuvok came out of the Captain's ready room and took over. "Captain, we seem to have been jolted by a shockwave. As far as I can ascertain there was a rather powerful explosion some distance away. I do not believe we are in danger."

Arriving on the bridge, still dressed in her civilian clothes, she ordered, "On screen!" Harry rushed onto the bridge and did his best to assist in magnifying the source of the explosion. "What is it?" The Captain asked as the view screen showed absolutely nothing of interest.

"All information indicates that it was most likely an exploding star outside of our sensor range. There was no damage to the ship. I believe the explosion was too far away for us to gather enough information to draw a definitive conclusion." Tuvok explained.

"If it was out of sensor range, yet we felt the shock wave that would mean that the explosion was massive."

"Indeed, Captain." Answered Tuvok. "We are heading away from the source of the explosion."

"That is fortunate; something tells me we wouldn't find much left in that area of space." Mused the Captain. "Let's gather and analyze as much information as we can, and keep scanning for any signs of another shockwave, just in case."

The Captain sat down on her chair, examining information and reports on the console she shared with Chakotay. "Captain, may I speak to you for a moment, in your ready room?" Chakotay interrupted.

"Sure, Commander, I'll be there in a moment." She responded, still examining data. After a short while she stood and turned to him, "You coming, Commander?" she said then headed to her ready room.

He walked in behind her and as the doors closed he reached for her gently and asked, "Are you alright Kathryn? You took a fall, does everything… feel ok?"

"I feel fine Chakotay! Is this what you called me in here for?" Her hand went up to her head, to show her exasperation.

"Yes, I know you wouldn't admit it if something was wrong while you were on the bridge. Will you go see the doctor after we're done on the bridge? Just to be safe?" He asked with an even tone.

She gave him a small smile and agreed to go once she finished up on the bridge.

Once the doctor determined that, except for some minor bruising and a sore butt, she was perfectly fine, they both headed to their quarters, exhausted. It was past midnight, ship time, and they both had duty in the morning.

"Oh no." She suddenly groaned.

"What?" asked Chakotay, instantly concerned for her.

"I never got a chance to make my winning shot. One shot away from beating you, and now we'll have to replay the entire game! Damn!" She was not at all happy with the idea of having to replay the game. She also informed him that she didn't know if they would all even be available before the party date.

He laughed. "If it's that important to you I'll concede defeat and grant you the win." He really wanted that win, but he would rather give it to her than see her stress over how to arrange a rematch and adjust schedules with less than a week until the party. No, he wanted her worrying about as little as possible in her state. He was trying to hide how much more protective of her he had been feeling lately, as it was she thought him overprotective already.

"Only because you know I would have made the shot and won anyway." She smirked. "But what are the rest of the guys going to say. You know Tom's going to demand a do over. He was really looking forward to planning a bachelor party."

"It doesn't matter what Tom says. Not only are we the bride and groom, we're the Captain and Commander as well, what we say goes." Then he continued to assure her that the men would accept their defeat honorably, and they would willingly allow the woman to have the use of the holodeck the following week. She wasn't so sure about that.


	23. Chapter 23

XXXXX

"Absolutely not! We agreed, I expect our agreement to be respected." Tom huffed at B'Elanna.

"What's the big deal, Tom?" B'Elanna asked.

"The big deal is that we agreed! It's not fair to change things without discussing it." Tom argued. He spun around and walked into his bathroom, leaving the door open so he could continue his argument as he got ready for the day.

"We are discussing it, Tom." She countered.

"Yes, and I'm saying no." There was a finality in his voice that infuriated her.

"It's my wedding too, Tom. Why can't we have the ceremony on a planet surface?" She took a breath and composed herself. Then she spoke softly. "There is a planet we'll be approaching in a couple of days. All I'm saying is, if they're friendly, and we like the planet, we should consider having our wedding there, while on shore leave."

"What about having Chakotay officiate? Captains can marry couples on ship. Can they marry them on the surface of alien planets? Have you asked?" He said pointedly. "And will the Captain turn over command of the ship, just for us to be married on the planet instead of on _Voyager_?"

"Well, I thought that if an alien official married us both the Captain and Chakotay could be part of the ceremony." B'Elanna said softly as she looked into Tom's intense blue eyes.

"What? No, Harry is my best man B'Elanna, not Chakotay! No, if you want both the Captain, and the Commander in our wedding, then we'll have to stick to our original plan, besides we haven't even announced our engagement and you want to beat the command team to the alter? How's that going to look?" With that Tom walked out of his quarters with her at his heels.

"Wait, Tom!" She pleaded.

"I have to report for duty B'Elanna, I'll see you after work." He said as he stalked off to the bridge.

_Damnit! _Thought B'Elanna, _I hate it when he's right._

XXXXX

The morning senior staff meeting went well; everyone was happy to hear that the Nechani seemed to be a friendly people and that shore leave was imminent. That is when Chakotay decided to speak up.

"Today we are also going to be announcing the ladies win in the pool tournament. So the ladies can start planning the party. B'Elanna I assume you'll want to get started right away."

B'Elanna grinned, "Yes sir I would."

"Wait a minute." Came the expected protest from Tom. "That game never ended, and after the ladies rigged the holodeck to serve them nonalcoholic, not even synthehol, in their drinks while serving the men regular alcohol, I think we're entitled to a rematch."

B'Elanna looked murderous as she retorted back to Tom, "We didn't change your drinks we just chose not to consume alcohol; we made a decision for ourselves, not for the men. A decision you wouldn't have known about if you hadn't rigged the holodeck to provide 50% more alcohol than normal in the women's drinks! I just adjusted it to ensure you didn't inebriate us against our will."

"I'm sorry Captain I should have informed you of Tom's cheating beforehand but I thought I fixed the problem. I completely overlooked the fact that he would try to reset the Sandrine's program back to "normal", that's how he found my adjustments."

"Is this true Tom?" Inquired an almost disbelieving Captain. "Did you try to get the females on the holodeck that night drunk against their will? I admit that leaving the alcohol out of the women's drinks might have been pushing the boundaries a little, but they changed only what they themselves consumed. What you did… in trying to intoxicate them against their will, there is no excuse for that, Tom!" The Captain had been letting the idea sink into her head and she was rising up onto her feet, her voice growing louder as she spoke. Finally with her swollen belly protruding completely over the table she demanded, "Tell me you didn't add any alcohol to my tea!"

"Oh God! Of course not, Captain!" spat out Tom, looking quite horrified.

"Don't worry, Captain. I monitored and adjusted all of his changes up until the tournament began. None of the women drank any alcohol that night, unless they ordered the beer, rum, scotch, or straight shots of any other hard liquor."

Now that Tom was on the spot Chakotay spoke up. "The ladies have a point, Tom, and unless you want to risk getting thrown into the brig, I recommend that we concede defeat, and declare the ladies the winners."

Tom knew he'd been beat and he didn't like it one bit, but he was still shaken that the Captain thought he might have endangered her pregnancy. Surely the Captain knew he'd do anything to protect that baby she was carrying. He certainly would never try to hurt her. He almost felt… connected to her. Sure he was a softy when it came to Naomi Wildman, but baby Janeway had a special place in his heart. He couldn't explain it, but baby Janeway was family to him. "Yes, sir." Was all he managed to answer, and thus began the bridal shower/bachelorette party planning, despite some grumbles from a few of the males aboard.


	24. Chapter 24

**I'm sorry that I haven't been posting as often as I should. I am thankful to those who have stuck with me. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I hope to post another one soon. Please read and review, Thanks.**

* * *

"I can't wait for shore leave tomorrow." Harry sat with Kes, Julia Harper, Freddy Bristow and Jarvis. "The Captain met with the Magistrate today and the Nechani people were very friendly. They said we can enjoy all the natural wonders of the planet. He did say that we had to respect their spiritual sites. The Captain and Commander are getting all the details of proper behavior on the planet right now."

"It's amazing how you always know what is happening." Kes responded, obviously enamored with Harry, causing Harry to blush.

"Umm… so Julia what do you say we explore the planet tomorrow. I work alpha shift, we can go have some dinner then watch the suns, set over the seas on the west end of one of the major continents." Jarvis asked Ensign Harper hopefully.

"Oh!" Julia Harper was dumbfounded, "What do you think Bristow, should we spend tomorrow evening on the surface?" Ensign Harper wanted Freddy Bristow to ask her for a romantic evening out, not Jarvis! Although Jarvis wasn't bad looking, or a bad guy, her heart was set on Freddy Bristow. Jarvis, who of course wasn't inviting Ensign Bristow, felt his heart sinking.

"No, Ensign Harper, I've some things to get done and I'm on beta shift, it'll just be you and Jarvis." Replied Freddy Bristow, looking uncomfortable.

"Oh, alright." Replied Harper. Jarvis tried not to notice her lack of enthusiasm. "Maybe we can join Kes and Harry. I'm sure the Captain will prepare a list of areas which might interest us; she usually does."

"Sure, Julia." Replied Kes," but I don't want to stay out too late tomorrow night, remember we have to finish the preparations for the bridal shower the next day."

"Oh, yes!" Julia Harper was suddenly relieved. "We have to prepare the food, and decorations, compile the music, and the games. We shouldn't stay out late at all."

XXXXX

Katheryn stretched and arched her back as she stood facing Chakotay whom was busy replicating tea for the two. She then used her hands to rub and support her swollen abdomen through the fabric of her maternity uniform. Chakotay watched her with a grin. "I'm glad you find my discomfort amusing Commander." Her tone was sharp in mock annoyance.

"I think you are the most beautiful sight I've ever seen, Captain, and if you'll sit down I'd be happy to rub your back or your feet, whichever you prefer. I'll do anything I can do to make your burdens lighter."

"Oh yes, I remember. That little speech helped lead us into this mess!"

"Then it was the most successful speech I've ever given." He responded with a sly smile as he handed her her tea. She took it with a small sigh and an inaudible grumble that may have been a comment about missing coffee or about the success of speeches, he wasn't quite sure. As they sat he asked, "So will you be taking shore leave, Captain?"

"No, I won't. I'll be working alpha shift tomorrow, and the following evening is the bridal shower with the ladies. I do want a team collecting data on the Nechani culture and religious beliefs. Maybe a small group planning to take shore leave can beam down during their shift and gather that information for us. Then when they are done they can stay on the planet for their leave."

"Don't worry Kathryn, I'll arrange it. Now, take off those boots and give me those feet." He rubbed her feet thinking about how he had come so close to ruining everything one evening in a jealous rage. He repeated a silent vow he had made to himself countless times before; to never hurt Kathryn again.

XXXXX

"Medical Emergency! We need help, now!" Harry frantically screamed into his commbadge not knowing if his message was getting through. _The walls of the caves might be too thick, they may not hear me._- He thought. "Help somebody help me!" He screamed. Torres, Chakotay, Harper and Jarvis came running around the corner. They had been gathering the religious and cultural information the Captain had asked for when Harry and Kes had fallen behind. Kes thought she heard something coming from another cavern. The cavern led to an altar. As Kes approached the altar she stepped into a protective force field and was knocked unconscious.

Assessing the scene B'Elanna tapped her commbadge, "Torres to Voyager; Medical emergency beam Kim and Kes to sickbay." As Harry and Kes dissipated into shimmering light the Captain ordered a report and Chakotay beamed aboard Voyager to tell her what he knew.

As Harry and Chakotay filled the Captain in on what each of them knew about the sight and the actions Kes had taken which led to her injuries, the rest of the team beamed abord. The doctor prattled on, "neuraleptic shock… neurological damage… disrupted cortical function… similar to comatose state… weak vital signs… I need to know more about what caused her condition."

"The Nechani won't let us near the sight of the accident, Captain. They say it is a sacred sight and Kes is being punished for violating the sanctuary. Only monks are allowed in or out of that area." Torres explained.

"Kim, Torres, scan the sanctuary from Voyager, see if we can find anything from here. I'll meet with the Magistrate and see if we can't work something out. Doctor, keep me informed!" With that Captain Janeway exited sickbay and headed to her ready room to contact the Nechani Magistrate, with Chakotay, as always, at her heels.

"Jarvis, will you assist Torres with the scans, I need to go down to the surface and find out if this has happened before, and if anyone has ever survived it. If anyone did I need to know how." Harry Kim began addressing Jarvis but ended addressing the room. B'Elanna Torres nodded in understanding; she knew that Harry's relationship with Kes had been blossoming. Jarvis agreed and Harry went in search of answers.

XXXXX

Harry returned with the story of a king whose son had, like Kes, suffered the effects of the biogenic field. The king claimed responsibility for the boy's action and was allowed to undergo a ritual; the ritual the monks undergo makes them immune to the effects of the force field. After undergoing this ritual and seeking the audience of the ancestral spirits the king was able to plead with the spirits for the life of his son. The king then took his son back through the biogenic field and the boy regained consciousness.

Captain Janeway asked the Nechani Magistrate to speak to the Nechisti council to allow her to take responsibility for Kes and undergo the ritual to seek an audience with the ancestral spirits. He agreed to take her request to them. The Captain was relieved at his optimism when he agreed.

While waiting for the council's answer Kathryn paced Chakotay's office; coffee cup in one hand waving a PADD in the other. "The Magistrate seemed confident that the council would allow me to undergo the ritual."

"Captain, I'm not sure I understand. You've never put much stock in religious ceremonies. What exactly does this ritual entail? Is it safe in your condition?" Chakotay didn't know why she was going through a ritual that wouldn't mean anything to her and could endanger her, and their child.

"Well I don't expect to speak to any ancestral spirits, but something happens during the ritual that allows the monks to pass unharmed through the field. I'd like to know what that is and the only way to find out is to go through the ritual." She set the PADD down and waved her hand in the air as if it were all very straight forward.

"What if you do find yourself talking to the spirits. And you haven't answered my previous question Kathryn. How do you know that it'll be safe for you… and our child. Maybe I can undergo the ritual in your place?" Chakotay's expression was serious and concerned. As he spoke, seated behind his desk, he watched her pace around his office yet again and lower herself to the sofa just to rise up a moment later and begin her rotation around the room again. "How many cups of coffee have you had, Kathryn?" He raised his voice a little and his eyebrows furrowed together. "I'm getting dizzy just watching you circle the room."

She smiled at the thought of finding herself in the presence of spirits and proceeded to address that which she chose to address. "I suspect the ritual may cause a physiological change. Like one of the Shamans of a tribe on Delios Seven. They have a ritual that increases the electrical resistance of their skin. Most rituals consist of physical and mental challenges, or some test of endurance; to prove the mastery of spirit over body. No, you cannot undergo the ritual. I am asking for an audience with the spirits, because I am fully responsible for Kes' actions as her Captain; that is the key, Chakotay. And this is the only cup of coffee I've had this week." She ended her reply with one hand on her hip and the other still clutching her coffee cup.

"So you have no idea if this will harm our child." As Chakotay was expressing his opinion about finding a way to have the doctor monitor her physically, and providing her with a way to transport out if she found she was any danger, the Nechani Magistrate contacted Voyager. The transmission was put through to Chakotay's office. Kathryn's request was granted; she was to report to the entrance of the sanctuary at sunset.

Kathryn was met by a spiritual guide at the sanctuary. She was almost immediately told that her efforts were meaningless. Over and over throughout the ritual she was told it was all meaningless. She held a rock up for hours looking into it. She waited, briefly, in a waiting room, she climbed a rock wall, despite her enlarged abdomen, nearly falling to her death, but it was all meaningless. She was bit by an unseen creature, she could only assume must have been snakelike, and found herself lying in what appeared to be a sarcophagus and came to the conclusion that she was dying. She had a vision of herself on the beach with her guide. "You have what you need to save Kes; you've had it all along."

Kathryn awoke and rose out of the sarcophagus. She had Kes beamed to the entrance of the temple. Chakotay beamed down with Kes. He pleaded with her not to, but Kathryn was determined to take Kes back into the biogenic. Chakotay gave her the energy and radiation readings from his tricorder, proving that the biogenic field was leathal. "That's what you'd be taking Kes… and yourself… along with your child into, Captain. Take a moment to think about this." Kathryn refused stating simply that while she couldn't explain it, she was certain this was the only way to save Kes' life. "This isn't like you. It's my job, my responsibility, to keep you safe, for you and the crew sake. I'd rather not have to relieve you of duty. But if your judgment has been impaired, then it is my responsibility to do so."

"Can he really do that?" asked her spiritual guide.

"Yes, he can." Responded Kathryn in earnest.

"You're not crazy, Kathryn. You know that." Said her guide gently.

Kathryn walked toward Kes. Chakotay stood before her. "Captain, I don't understand this."

"Neither do I. That is the challenge." She continued toward Kes and Chakotay stepped allowing her access to the Ocampan. Amazingly she found that despite the extra weight she was carrying in her own body she was able to lift the girl. She struggled up the stairs to the alter and stepped into the biogenic field with Kes in her arms.

XXXXX

A blinding light surrounded them and suddenly she saw Kes standing beside her. All objects around her became light and energy. Kathryn could see… no feel, the room and the people around her. They were all spirit energy and light. She felt the existence of all things on a plane she'd never imagined. Suddenly she could see not only from her own perspective but from Kes' as well. There was the beating of her heart, Kes', heart and her child's heart and while they were all beating at the same time their individual rhythms were clear to Kathryn. Kathryn could sense a glow, warm and loving coming from Kes.

_Captian? You came here for me?-_Kes spoke to her without words.

_Yes, to bring you home to us.-_Kathryn responded with her own thoughts.- _Will you come back with me?_

_ Yes, but first listen. - _She paused then continued.- _Do you hear her? Your child, her spirit speaks to you._

_ Yes, I hear her. – _Kathryn placed her hand on her abdomen. _I hear her, and_ _Chakotay, he's worried. Harry too. No,I don't hear them... I don't here words from them at all, I _**feel **_them._

The experience reminded Kathryn of a mind meld where a person's inner thoughts and feelings could be felt, seen, and experienced, but this _was_ different. She felt a power and energy she had never felt before. She realized that she was sensing Kes' telepathic and telekinetic powers, far more power that even Kes had thought possible. Kes smiled at her knowing they were sharing the experience. Each could feel tendrils of power emanating from their bodies and reaching far out onto, not only the planet but reaching Voyager as well. They could sense the crew's fear for their safety and the worry of those who cared about them. And in the moment that Kes became tuned to her energy and the powers that she held, Kathryn felt in tune as well and she marveled at the abilities that Kes possessed.

_It's time to go back.-_Kes said gently. Kathryn nodded in agreement.

XXXXX

Chakotay watched his Captian, his fiancé, the woman he loved, the mother of his unborn child, walk into a deadly biogenic field, with lethal levels of radiation. He wondered what in the hell he was thinking letting her go. But Kathryn had looked so sure and so determined he knew that preventing her from going would have to result in one of the two relieved of duty, and he would probably still have to physically stop her from going anyway. That last part was what troubled him the most.

He felt his anxiety rise as she neared the biogenic field. He took a step forward and leaned his shoulders toward her as if he were getting ready to chase after her. He watched her and Kes' bodies silhouetted against the brightness of the altar. When she reached the field a blinding flash of light erupted from the threshold and Kathryn and Kes were thrown back, their bodies flying over the stairs and landing only a few feet from where Chakotay stood.

"Kathryn!" He screamed as he knelt down to check on her. Kathryn half opened her eyes briefly and looked at him a moment, then she turned to her right, toward Kes. The two women reached out and took each other's hands briefly before succumbing to unconsciousness once again.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: I still own nothing, still make no money (even at my real job), and I'm still am over dramatic and sappy. ****Thanks to all who have left reviews and encouraged me to continue this story. I certainly hope everyone is enjoying it and that I haven't bored anyone to death. There are definitely new developments to come. Please let me know what you think about the way the story is progressing. **

XXXXX

"Doctor, report!" Chakotay's voice was strained and desperate.

"They just got here, Commander! I haven't even had an opportunity to scan either one of them yet." The Doctor answered without pausing to look at Chakotay. The Doctor scanned Kathryn first. Issuing an audible, "Hmmp?" he moved to scan Kes. He looked at his tricorder with a slightly puzzled expression.

"What is it Doctor?" Chakotay inquired.

"It looks like they have some injuries consistent with a fall of some distance, bruising, scrapes; Kathryn has a concussion, but it's not serious, and a fractured shoulder, but nothing that can't be easily repaired. Kes has a hair line fracture in her pelvis, but again it's an easy fix. That's not what concerns me."

"Then what is it Doctor, is it their brain activity? Is Kathryn in the same state as Kes?" Chakotay cursed himself for allowing Kathryn into the biogenic field. He was sure that now both Kathryn and Kes would suffer the same fate.

"Well, Kes' brain activity has returned… in excess… It seems both she and the Captain are showing signs of telepathic activity. They're readings are identical."

"What does that mean?"

"It has some similarities to a mind meld, but only some, I don't know how to break this connection. "

"Are you telling me that they are keeping themselves in this state? I don't understand. Are they ok? Can they come out of this if they choose too?"

"I don't know Commander. It is entirely possible that Kes or the Captain can break the connection but I can't know for sure."

"What about the baby, Doctor? Is she affected by this telepathic activity as well?" Chakotay was feeling sick to his stomach, he didn't know what he would do if his daughter was affected as well.

Running the tricorder over the Captain's abdomen again, to ensure he had an accurate response he announced, "No. The child looks to have what is considered normal activity and appears unharmed."

"Well of course she's fine why wouldn't she be?"

The two startled men snapped their attention toward Kes, who was now sitting up on her biobed. "I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that they brought us here in a sort of unconsciousness, Kes." Answered the Captain.

"Kathryn! Oh thank the spirits you're ok. Don't you ever do that to me again!" Chakotay lost his composure as he lunged himself toward Kathryn wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"Chakotay, I'm fine. I just have a bit of a headache and my shoulder hurts."

"I'll fix that, Captain. You have a concussion and a fractured shoulder blade." The Doctor began working on her shoulder.

"We weren't really unconscious; we were experiencing an alternate consciousness." Kes stated.

Kathryn then addressed Kes. "Yes, Kes, but they weren't aware of that. To them we were unconscious and possibly in danger."

Kes wondered about her connection with the Captain and so responded to her in the way she might speak to another Ocampan. _I suppose you want the Doctor to study the connection that was created between us. _She spoke to Kathryn telepathically testing the depths of their new found connection.

"Yes. I think that's a good idea, Kes." She answered naturally.

"What was? Kathryn are you ok?" Chakotay's expression was filled with renewed concern.

"Kes, didn't say anything, Captain." The Doctor added with concern.

_They can't hear me Captain. You try speaking to me this way. It shouldn't be difficult I can sometimes sense strong thoughts or emotions of others who aren't telepathic._- Kes encouraged the Captain.

_Maybe I should respond to them first so they don't think I'm crazy.-_ Answered the Captain telepathically.

"A good idea Captain." Kes said aloud.

"Kes was speaking to me telepathically. I responded to her, that is all." Kathryn address Chakotay and the doctor.

"Your scans did show telepathic activity." Mumbled the doctor. "I'd like to keep you both here for observation, Captain."

Kathryn sighed. "Very well doctor."

She suddenly remembered all the planning and work B'Elanna had been doing for her lately and addressing Chakotay she asked. "Chakotay, the bridal shower?

Chakotay responded, "That should have taken place three days ago, Kathryn. You went to the surface the night before the shower was to take place. That was four days ago."

The doors to sickbay slid open and Harry came running in. "Kes, Kes, are you ok?"

"I'm fine Harry." She answered him with a grin. "You really worried about me."

"Of course I was, Kes!" He was afraid that she might think otherwise. He hugged her grateful that she was alright.

"Captain, how are you? Are you and the baby okay?" Harry asked with genuine concern. This would have bothered Kes before but her recent experiences had convinced her that the relationship between the Captain and Harry more closely resembled a mother son relationship than a romantic one. She had also seen the depth of the Captain's love for Chakotay.

"Yes Harry, we're fine." The Captain answered running her hand over her middle.

"Alright, visiting time is over. The Captain hasn't had any real sleep in four days and she needs to rest I'm going to have to ask you all to leave now." The Doctor broke in. Harry promised to be back to check on them and left sickbay to return to his post.

"I'm not leaving her, Doctor." Chakotay said firmly.

It was Kathryn who answered him. "You have a ship to run. You're in charge while I'm in here. I need to know you can take over in my absence, regardless of our relationship. I need my First Officer to do his job, Chakotay." Kathryn reasoned with him.

"Fine but I'll be back for you in a little while. Your safety and wellbeing is my job as well, Kathryn, and we both know how difficult it is for you to sleep. I don't believe you'll get a moments rest here in sickbay, and you haven't slept in four days. I'll be back to take you to our quarters in a couple of hours." Chakotay informed her.

"The Doctor is still studying the telepathic bond that Kes and I share. I'm sure he'll want to study any other effects of the biogenic field and maybe try to understand what happened to us; why it didn't kill us." Kathryn felt, as impossible as it may seem, that this had been a spiritual experience but she knew, as a scientist, that it would still need to be studied and scrutinized.

"Your health and safety and our child's health and safety will come before senseless data and useless studies. I'll be back in a couple of hours he should be done by then, but even if he's not, you will go get some sleep, for your wellbeing and for our daughter's as well." Chakotay wasn't angry, just determined.

Kathryn hesitated. She wanted to respond as the Captain and tell him he was out of line. Her decisions could be discussed and questioned in private, but her orders were always to be followed. She couldn't, however, ignore that he was now in the position of soon to be husband and father. There would be a fine line to walk for both of them in situations like this from now on. "Let's just take it one step at a time. We'll see what he's got in a couple of hours." She sighed, "You of all people know how much I dislike being in sickbay. I won't stay any longer than necessary."

XXXXX

When Chakotay returned a few hours later the Doctor was explaining his findings to Kes and the Captain. The Captain listened quietly. He went on about neutrinos protecting the Captain and Kes from the biogenic field, and iridium ions functioning as a cortical stimulator for Kes. He noticed the disbelief in the Captain's face and asked if she disagreed. Her response was that his explanation was very scientific, but offered nothing more. Chakotay walked over to Kathryn.

"Are you ready to go?" He offered her his hand.

"Almost," Kathryn answered, "the Doctor has an explanation as to how Kes and I survived and why Kes woke up but I still have a couple of questions for him."

The Doctor, who was standing only a few feet away, replied "go ahead, Captain."

"You have the readings Chakotay took of the biogenic field, right Doctor?" queried the Captain.

"Yes, of course." Came the Doctor's response.

"If I'm not mistaken there were high levels of thoron radiation in the biogenic field. What does that mean for my baby?" As Kathryn asked Chakotay suddenly looked troubled. She knew there was thoron radiation in the biogenic field before she walked into it, and now her question implied that she knew the thoron radiation could have consequences for the baby!

"Yes, Captain I've treated you for the effects of the radiation. You and the baby should be fine but you should avoid any further exposure until after the baby's birth. You would probably be fine but a developing fetus could have serious complications. The higher the quantities of radiation, and the more often the exposure, the less effective the treatment is." Explained the Doctor.

Kathryn knew she was about to be scolded and she wasn't looking forward to it. "It's not the first time I was exposed."

"What?" Came Chakotay's voice in disbelief.

"Settle down Commander," Spoke the Doctor. "Most times small quantities are harmless; the exposure would only matter if it was in very high doses or if it occurred during the pregnancy."

"When Tuvok and I were locked in a mind meld, Doctor." Kathryn offered in answer.

Doing the math based on the gestational age of her fetus the Doctor's face fell suddenly. "I didn't know you were pregnant then! You didn't tell me after the meld was broken, either. Captain, were you aware of your pregnancy at the time?!"

"Yes," She answered slowly then quickly added, "But Lieutenant Paris treated me for the effects of the radiation."

"That may very well be, but knowledge of that event would have changed my course of action. I need to administer a second dose of the medication." The Doctor walked away to retrieve the medication.

A visibly angry Chakotay hissed at her, "Kathryn, you didn't tell the Doctor about your condition before the meld, or even after, knowing you had put our child in danger! What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I hadn't told the baby's father yet! I didn't want it to be the latest mess hall gossip before I had a chance to talk to you." She hissed back.

"You could have told me about her as soon as you found out, and she wouldn't be in danger now!" Chakotay snapped.

"We aren't really going to have this argument now, are we? I think we should discuss this in private." Kathryn was exasperated. She then added, more to herself than to Chakotay "I'm too tired for this."

He opened his mouth to reply but the Doctor walked up just then with the second dose of medication.

"One more question, Doctor. This "bond" I share with Kes; how long will it last and what does it mean as far as chemical and physiological changes to my brain? Could it have some effect on the baby?" Kathryn was going to be as thorough as possible this time.

"Physiologically there are no changes. Chemically there are indications that you've received telepathic signals. Captain, I don't know that you have any kind of lasting "bond" with Kes. Your brain waves are no longer identical; it looks as though your thoughts are your own." Explicated the Doctor.

"Thank you, Doctor." Kathryn said. Then with her thoughts she said –_What do you think, Kes?_

Kes responded –_I haven't tried with others but you're the first nonOcampan to be able to have a mental conversation with me. I'll try with others as well and report back to you, Captain._

_Thank you, Kes._ - Responded the Captain. Then turning to Chakotay she said out loud "Let's go, Chakotay."

XXXXX

Chakotay paced the room, Starfleet issue boots wearing away at Starfleet carpeting, as Kathryn readied herself for some much needed sleep. He wanted to have that long delayed discussion with her, but he also wanted her to rest. He was at odds with himself. He'd been waiting for this conversation for weeks; ever since the "meeting of the secret keepers", but now she needed rest as much as he needed answers. No. She needed the rest more then he needed answers and he knew it, but if he didn't press the issue how long would he have to wait?

Kathryn exited the bathroom in her nightgown, and with her hair down. Seeing her he couldn't help but just want to hug her; relieved that she was safe and well… and home with him. He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. "Thank the spirits you're here with me. I was so worried, Kathryn."

Stunned, believing he was angry at her, she simply replied, "It's good to be back, Chakotay." That's when she felt the wetness of his tears on the side of her own face. "Chakotay, are you ok?"

"What am I going to do with you, Kathryn? You put yourself and our child in danger constantly while I drive myself crazy trying to protect you two."

"I'm the Captain, you knew this, and you knew me before any of this happened between us. If you can't handle it, Chakotay then we can't do this." She spoke softly but he knew she meant every word.

"Why didn't you tell me? The moment you found out, why wasn't I the first to know?" He needed answers.

"Do you remember when you walked into my quarters and I was on the couch with Tom hovering over me?" Kathryn asked carefully.

"Yes, he was hugging you, holding you while you lay on your couch. I remember thinking you would have _never _held me that way while onboard. Then he looked at me then back at you and your eyes met and there was some unspoken exchange between you two. It hurt me to see you so close to another man." He was baring his soul to her.

"Yes, well… he had just told me I was pregnant seconds before and I almost collapsed. We had just retaken the ship from Cullah, and I was exhausted, and pregnant. He carried me to my couch and offered to go get you for me. He always insisted that you should be involved from the first moment. When I started to cry he hugged me. That's when you walked in; I shook my head at Tom so that he wouldn't tell you; hoping I could tell you myself, in private. Then you accused me of leaving you in charge of the bridge so that I could have an illicit romp with my "helmboy" and I just couldn't figure out how the hell I was going to tell you after that. Other people found out accidentally and… I'm sorry I let it get that far Chakotay. Looking back I suppose I should have told you when you came to my quarters that day. I am sorry."

"I am too, Kathryn. I behaved in a manner that made you feel like you couldn't tell me. I was an angry, jealous man and I'm sorry." He pulled her close again and placed his chin atop her head. He held her that way for a few seconds before she spoke again.

"Chakotay, I haven't slept in four days…"

"Oh! Yes… let's get you to bed. I had Tuvok take you out of the duty roster for the next three days, then we've got a few days off for the wedding, so barring any emergencies, you don't have another duty shift for at least a week."

"So what happened with my bachelorette party?!"

"No bride, no party, Kathryn. No one used the holodeck that night. Everyone was too worried about our Captain."


	26. Chapter 26

**I'm hoping to have another Chapter up soon. Please read and review**

* * *

Tom and B'Elanna worked furiously on two holodeck programs. They were on a serious time constraint and they wanted them to be perfect. Working side by side quietly they kept their conversation relatively short and work related. Their fingers expertly gliding over the consoles they worked on, entering data and setting parameters; making the entries as perfect as possible. They were almost done when Jarvis walked in.

"Lieutenant Paris, can I talk to you?" Jarvis asked. B'Elanna heard the request but figured that if he wanted a private conversation he shouldn't have it in an open work area in engineering. She kept working to complete the program.

Tom glanced up at Jarvis for a moment but continued working as he asked, "What's up Jarvis?"

"Umm… Do you know if Harper has a date for the wedding?" Jarvis asked uneasily as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. A touch of anxiety played across his face.

"How am I supposed to know that Jarvis?" asked Tom a little irritated.

"Well," he glanced at B'Elanna "I thought maybe she had mentioned something to B'Elanna."

B'Elanna finished entering the string of commands she was working on then turned to Jarvis with a slightly frustrated sigh. "I'm sorry Jarvis, but..," she momentarily considered telling him that Julia was waiting for Bristow to ask her to the wedding when she suddenly felt sorry for the guy, "I'm not sure if she has a date yet."

"Oh? Is she still waiting on Bristow?" His melancholy was weighing heavy on his being.

"I don't know Jarvis, why don't you ask Tal to the wedding?" She asked.

"Celes? She's nice. Maybe I'll ask her… Thanks B'Elanna." He said sadly and walked off.

Tom and B'Elanna finished up the programs and headed to the holodecks to test the programs and make the final adjustments to perfect them. "Poor guy, Julia is hell bent on getting Bristow to ask her out." B'Elanna muttered.

"Yeah but Bristow is still trying to get over his crush on you." Tom said with a smirk. B'Elanna smirked back and slapped his arm.

"Let's make sure these programs work and finish up all the preparations." She said changing the subject.

XXXXX

Kathryn stirred from her sleep, slowly at first, then suddenly popped out of bed asking, "What time is it?"

Chakotay, who was in their small shared kitchen/living space, the small space left over since they each kept a private space for work related issues, answered her "It doesn't matter Kathryn, you have the day off. Tea?"

"Yes please dear. How long did I sleep?" She tried again.

"About sixteen well deserved hours. It's about 0800 hours." His reply was a simple statement of fact. He took a cup of tea from the replicator and placed it on their small table and motioned for her to sit down. As she sat he placed a veggie omelet in front of her. "Eat Kathryn, you probably didn't have anything to eat on that planet either, did you?" He turned away from her and back toward the replicator as he spoke.

"No, no I didn't have anything to eat." Then quickly doing the math in her head she said "You mean to tell me it was only 1600 when we went to bed yesterday?"

"I didn't matter what time of day it was, you had spent four days without sleep, It wouldn't have mattered if it was 0600 hours you needed to sleep." He spoke at her sternly.

"Yes Chakotay, but you went to bed, too. Now unless you didn't sleep at all while I was…" She paused considering the possibility that perhaps he _hadn't_ slept. "Chakotay, you didn't stay up that entire time did you?" Her eyes widened with concern and disbelief laced with a touch of anger.

Coming away from the replicator he went to press a hypospray to her neck. "Vitamins." He explained and she tilted her head allowing him access to her neck as she continued to glare at him. "I tried to sleep, I knew you'd want me too, but I didn't get much rest anyway. I was worried. Even so I did still get a considerable amount more sleep than you did; and you are carrying our child."

"I need to know that you can take control of things in my absence, Chakotay, especially now. If something happens that leaves me unable to perform my duties, temporarily… or otherwise, it will be your responsibility not only to take over as Captain and get our crew home, but you will have to take over all aspects of caring for our daughter. You do understand this, right Chakotay? With or without the other we would each have to go on doing what was necessary for our crew and our child."

"Kathryn, I probably got more sleep per night than you do on average. And yes, of course I'll do what's necessary to care for the crew and our child; just don't forget that your safety and wellbeing is my responsibility and I take that responsibility seriously. You can't ask me not to do everything in my power to bring you home safe and sound." There would be no further argument he stated his position and that was all there was to it.

Kathryn noticed he said 'home' he said 'bring you home'. They both considered _Voyager_ their home, and her crew their family. She smiled at the thought of how this once ordinary group had proven time and time again to be so _extraordinary._

She stared at him thoughtfully for a few moments before he snapped her out of her thoughts. "Come on Kathryn, eat up. You need your strength and the rest of us need you."

As soon as she began to eat she realized how hungry she really was. She tore ravenously through the first omelet and Chakotay provided her with another. The second was soon gone too. Chakotay smiled at her, encouraged by her healthy appetite.

After breakfast he took her for a walk down to the hydroponics bay to see the new flowers that had been gathered on the surface. Normally Kes would have chosen any new flower species but in her absence Neelix, after picking out some edible grains and fruits, had thoughtfully picked out some flowers he thought Kes might like to have. Kathryn wondered if Harry knew about that. In the bay a young female crewman was tending the plants. Ever since Kathryn had informed the crew that Kes would need help tending to the plants various crew members had taken to "gardening" as a form of relaxation and in consequence Kes was never short of volunteers.

Kathryn admired the new flowers, smelling them and carefully caressing their pedals. A thin delicate flower with a pink center that transformed into purple at the ends of its pedals, caught her eye. She commented on its beauty. Chakotay took a small bunch to adorn their quarters with. In their quarters again Kathryn went to change out of her civilian clothes and into uniform when Chakotay stopped her. "You're not on duty Kathryn."

"I often wear my uniform on days off." She stated as a matter of fact. "Besides I need to check on all departments, I was gone much longer than I thought I'd be."

"Not this time, I turned the ship over to Tuvok. He is acting Captain for the next week and you are officially on leave. In four days you'll be my wife and in eight days you can be Captain again, but not before. I like the idea of you being all mine, at least for a few days." He flashed his dimpled smile at her and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay… I'll wear civilian clothes and we'll go… say hello to the crew. As we've both established we are all family now and I haven't seen them in days." She smiled mischievously. "They should see that I'm alright. We wouldn't want them to worry."

He knew it would be good for the crew to see that she was well. "Alright, we do this quickly and we don't talk business! Say hello and don't ask for any reports for goodness sake." With that they began visiting all the ships departments. Much as she tried, Chakotay wouldn't let her skip sickbay, and it wasn't until the doctor scanned her and declared her health acceptable that he finally let her continue on.

After spanning the entire ship and talking to just about every single crew member, he took her back to their quarters for a nap. She complained about being treated like a child but before long she was sound asleep in Chakotay's arms. After allowing her to sleep for a couple of hours he gently shook her awake. "Kathryn, wake up. Get dressed we're going to spend the evening on the beach."

"On the _beach_? Didn't we leave orbit already?" She asked groggily.

"A holographic beach." He corrected.

"Oh. Alright, let me change into something suitable. Will you get me some tea please, Dear?"

XXXXX

Tal sat on a lounge chair in a short sundress on the beach. A waiter with very short tight spandex shorts and a bow tie stopped to take her order. After giving him her order she turned to Jarvis, who had arrived and taken a seat next to her, and asked. "What was he wearing?"

"Oh, Tom Paris said that is what some male exotic dancers wore in the twentieth century. He specifically looked it up for the Captain's bachelorette party. The waiter was supposed to dance for her. He said it was either that or policemen and fire fighters with tear-off-clothing'. Although I don't know why policemen would want tear-off-clothing" Jarvis shrugged. The waiter disappeared behind the outdoor bar jutting out of a large beach club. There was also small gazebo bar positioned further out on the beach; for those who were sitting closer to the water. Tom had gone all out on this program.

"So why the bow tie?" Tal asked with light laughter.

"Um, apparently women found it sexy. Or at least I think that's what Tom's research said." Jarvis couldn't hide the slight amusement in his voice.

"A bow tie was sexy?" Now Tal's laugh was a good and hearty. Jarvis had to laugh with her.

"Tal… I don't have a date for the wedding and I was wondering…" Tal knew he was interested in Julia and so Jarvis felt nervous and a little dumb asking Tal for a date.

"I don't either. We should go together; as friends, of course." Tal smiled at him and with her words took the pressure off of her friend.

Jarvis smiled relieved "Yes, as friends of course. I would be honored to escort you to the wedding." His confidence returning he spoke without faltering this time.

"Wonderful." She answered. "Hey have you tried the kite things that Paris was talking about?"

"No not yet, but Baytart is out there flying one." He pointed at a small figure some distance away who was holding a string with a flying diamond attached to it. "You wanna go try one with me?"

"Let's go!" They struggled to get the kite to rise up into the air despite the breeze. They finally figured out that working together, one holding the kite one holding the string while running, was the best way to get the kite to fly. They were running together and laughing as they sent the kite flying higher. Once the kite seemed pretty securely set in its flight they sat together on the sand passing the spool of string between them occasionally, taking turns "flying" their kite. They sat there talking and laughing when they heard a chorus of cheers and they knew that the Captain and Commander had arrived. Reigning in their kite they joined the crowd of people greeting and cheering the couple.

"Chakotay what is all this?" Kathryn asked upon entering the holodeck and hearing the cheers.

Chakotay shrugged and mumbled, "Ask B'Elanna." He gestured at the beautiful half-Klingon woman who had become Kathryn's good friend.

Hugging Kathryn she said "We weren't able to have your bachelorette party, so I thought maybe we could settle for a couple's shower." She motioned the couple to enter the beach club and the entire party immediately followed. The men were all very good sports as B'Elanna began to engage both genders in ancient bridal party games. Soon several women and some men were wearing toilet paper wedding dresses to the hysterical laughter of the onlookers. After a brief deliberation the Command Team, aka bride and groom, determined that Mike Ayala had the best and most detailed paper wedding dress, complete with veil and fringe. He, and the small team responsible for dressing him, would get an extra half hour of holodeck time next month. Ayala, Susan Nicoletti, Tal Celes, and Jarvis happily accepted their prize.

"Next we're going to separate the happy couple and have them each answer a few questions how they think the other would answer. The one with the most correct answers gets to pick how the honeymoon will be celebrated. That means they get to pick all the holoprograms, off duty activities, and shore leaves for the next month, even after they go back on duty." As B'Elanna spoke Kathryn interrupted.

"A _month! _ That seems like an awful long time B'Elanna."

"Well Captain, I mean _Kathryn, _we aren't anywhere near a hospitable planet at this time and we want to give the winner the option to take the other on shore leave,_ if _the opportunity should come up in the near future." B'Elanna explained.

"What if I'm too busy to go then?" Kathryn furrowed her brow.

"You'll have to make time, a deal is a deal. Are you up to the challenge?" B'Elanna pushed.

Kathryn glanced over a Chakotay who had a mischievous grin on his face. "Wipe that smirk off your face Commander; there are still limits to what you can make an almost-seven-months-pregnant woman do!" Then turning to B'Elanna she said "Alright let's do it!"

With all the questions completed and the written answers on large cards turned written side down, B'Elanna took the podium and addressed the crowd again. "This game was inspired by a twentieth century game show played by couples. Tom found it and thought it would be fun. Here's how it works. I will read the question that was asked of Kathryn and Chakotay will tell us what he thinks her answer was. Kathryn will then read and show us the answer she wrote and if he was right he gets a point. We will repeat the process with the questions that were asked of Chakotay and the same process will ensue."

"Ok, first question was What was the name of your first pet? Chakotay how do you think Kathryn answered that question?"

"Well, B'Elanna, I believe that her first pet was a dog named Brambles." As Chakotay answered B'Elanna gestured toward Kathryn so that she may reveal the answer. She nodded as she confirmed that, yes in fact, her first pet was a dog named Brambles.

"Kathryn, who was Chakotay's sponsor when he applied to Starfleet Academy?"

Kathryn Chuckled a bit and answered "Captain Sulu." Chakotay confirmed that she was correct.

They continued with questions of favorite meals, colors, family member's names. They both seemed to have a pretty good handle on the answers the others would give.

Then suddenly came a startling question. Well, it had been when Kathryn first read it but she decided to answer honestly. "Now on to how well you know each other's romatic past. Chakotay, in terms of romatic relationships; who was your first heartbreak?" Kathryn took a deep breath and steeled herself for his answer.

He half-jokingly responded, "Was I supposed to keep track?" Kathryn laughed and showed her written proof that she had in fact answered, in writing; _I don't think he's kept track of them all._

Kathryn blushed as the entire room roared with laughter and disbelief. Chakotay himself turned crimson as he realized that she knew exactly how he would try to deflect the question.

Once the room had settled down B'Elanna continued "Kathryn, same question, as far as romantic relationships are concerned who was your first heart break?"

Kathryn's half smile was a wistful expression "Cheb Parker."

Chakotay's face fell. His answer had been Justin Tighe. He knew how devastated she had been at his loss. He had read her files. He had no reason to think, however, that he had been her first love, yet that had been the only answer he'd come up with. Now he dreaded showing his answer for fear, not of appearing that he didn't know her well, but of bringing that awful tragedy in to taint their happiest moments. "Well let's just say, I haven't really asked my future bride about her former love interests. I'm something of a jealous guy, and I'd like to imagine that she's never loved anyone but me." The room filled with somewhat subdued laughter. After all, no one wanted to laugh too loudly for fear that their laughs may be misinterpreted as a belief that the Captain "slept around". No one wanted to imply, with laughter or otherwise, that their Captain was anything less than moral and upstanding. Even though it was common knowledge that she had been engaged at the onset of this mission, It wouldn't do to possibly insult the Captain in that manner. Kathryn blushed just a bit, knowing that her crew was aware of one of her engagements, but certain that Chakotay knew of both.

Almost no one took any notice of Chakotay's failure to show his written answer. Those who did, knew it was best not to draw attention to it. B'Elanna moved on to the last few questions. "How many children do you want? Remember Chakotay, you need to tell us how you think Kathryn would answer."

"I think Kathryn would say two." Chakotay answered.

Kathryn raised her card and said "I answered two."

"Ok Kathryn, same question, how many children does Chakotay want?"

Kathryn almost laughed out loud "Well given that he doesn't have to carry them I'm going to say six."

Chakotay lifted his card up and said "I answered five."

"Well I was close." Kathryn said gruffly. The crowd howled, they were really enjoying this, and in the process getting a glimpse of who the people behind the uniforms really were.

"If you were settling down and purchasing your first home, and not traversing the vast expanse that is the Delta Quadrant, where would that home be located?"

Chakotay quickly answered, "Kathryn would want a home in Indiana."

She nodded, he was correct. When it came time for her turn she had to answer the same question. She realized that she hadn't considered where he would want to live. Somewhere close to nature that was a given. She had never considered asking him. "Where ever his children are." Was all she could come up with.

Chakotay answered "I want to live where my children have access to nature; trees, streams, creatures like rabbits, deer, wolves, geckos, fish, frogs… the exact location wouldn't matter only that Kathryn and I would be there raising them together." The spectators breath their _aww's_ and _how sweet's_ as Chakotay and Kathryn locked eyes and acknowledged a mutual understanding that their daughter's entire childhood may be spent on a ship traveling an endless journey toward a home she'd never known.

"Sorry Captain, "close to nature", or "anywhere with me" would have been acceptable as they were part of his answer but as you can see his answer does not say he wants his children to live there with him just that he wants to live where they would have access to nature." Declared B'Elanna.

"B'Elanna that's a technicality and you know it!" chided Kathryn.

"Technically yes, Captain, but we've learned to exploit technicalities from the best, Captain Janeway herself. I'm declaring Chakotay the winner here today." B'Elanna gave Kathryn a friendly pat on the back as Kathryn glared at her.

Chakotay smiled and walked over to Kathryn. "I can't wait to tell the Captain she has to join me on the holodeck or take shore leave with me." Kathryn just rolled her eyes.

There were a few more games and quite a few more laughs. When Chakotay had been blindfolded and asked to identify his blushing bride solely by the feel of her leg Pablo Baytart had quietly joined the line of women whose legs Chakotay would be caressing. He positioned himself just before Kathryn. Chakotay crouched down and began feeling the legs lined up before him. By the way Chakotay was taking his time feeling all the women's legs Kathryn was beginning to suspect that he was purposely spending more time than he needed to determine that it wasn't her leg he was touching. She eyed him suspiciously thinking he deserved the prank Baytart was about to play on him. As he slowly moved along the line the women he touched would blush and do their best to hold in their giggles as Kathryn rolled her eyes. She couldn't help but notice the silly grin on his face as the felt so many smooth female legs. When he reach Baytart his hands reach out expecting the silky smooth calf of another bare legged female crew member. Kathryn watched in amused expectation for his response. As he felt the thick calf rough with curly coarse hair his expression suddenly changed as he shouted, "Oh, Damn!" and almost fell over. Luckily Tom had anticipated this response and had stood by close enough to reach and steady his friend before he fell. Chakotay reached for his blindfold but Tom stopped him. Kathryn successfully struggled to hold in her laughter, she knew any sound from her would give her position away.

"You can't take it off unless you think that's your bride, Chakotay. Is this really your guess?" Tom was amused but he maintained his composure while the rest of the room laughed. Pablo Baytart's plan worked; Chakotay was so shook up that when he moved on he was hardly paying attention, still reeling from the unexpected feel of Pablo's leg.

He barely touched Kathryn's leg before continuing; wanting to put distance between himself and the hairy limb. It wasn't until he had passed Kathryn up that he realized that he could smell the scent of her hair. More specifically, her shampoo. With his left hand on Julia Harper's leg he turned his head slightly toward the person he had just passed. He reached his right hand out and felt her leg again. He slid his hand from her knee to her ankle and back up to her knee. This was her; he was certain, so he took a chance and gave her knee a fluttering kiss before announcing. "This is Kathryn."

He was a little surprised when no one spoke for a moment. Then he heard Toms voice, "Um, Commander, you're going to have to pick one." That's when he realized that his left hand was still on someone else's leg.

"Yes, Commander, do pick one." He heard Kathryn's voice coming from a few feet's distance. _Oh Damn!-_ He thought as, for the second time he stumbled backwards. This time, however, Tom wasn't there to catch him and he fell onto his butt. He rose quickly tearing off his blindfold in a panic wondering whose leg he had just kissed. He stared in disbelief. One leg had belonged to Julia Harper, but the other, the one he kissed, was Kathryn's. He was right, but her voice had been further away.

"Sorry Commander, you can't have them both…" The room roared with laughter. "and since you failed to pick her you didn't win any of Kathryn's replicator rations. Oh and B'Elanna you can change the holographic waiter's voice back to normal."

"Already done flyboy." Responded B'Elanna.

The Captain easily picked out Chakotay's leg from the legs of the many men who lined up, winning twenty percent of Chakotay's replicator rations for the following month. Chakotay remarked that the contest had been unfair because of Baytart's involvement. Kathryn countered pointing out that she had felt female legs amongst her line up of male legs, which was absolutely true. Chakotay muttered a complaint about it not being the same thing, but even as he did a smile stole across his face. "I'll bet that was pretty damn funny to watch wasn't it?"

"Yes, Chakotay, it was." They both laughed. Kathryn was glad he was a good sport.


	27. Chapter 27

**I still own nothing. I'm still make no money. I'm still a bit overly dramatic. And in my world the episode Threshold never happened. I hope that everyone reading this story can accept those thing. I want to thank all those who continue to read my story. Please let me know what you think and know that I'm open to suggestions, I just ask that you be nice about it and give me something constructive to work with to improve my writing/story. I know that this particular "scene" has played out over two chapters and if that was too long and slow moving for you guys I'd like to know. I am moving it along now, I promise.**

**Please leave reviews. Thanks.**

* * *

Tom sat happily watching as kites were flown on the white sandy beaches of this holographic tropical paradise. Several people were sitting and enjoying refreshments at the bar down by the water. The people he watched were at one time supposed to be enemies, but watching them now anyone would think they were all one big family. His lips curled up slightly as he thought of his relationship with his father; no the _Voyager_ crew were closer than most families.

An announcement sounded informing them that everyone should return to the beach club. The crew had been frolicking playfully on the beach, or eating endless amounts of salads, pastas, and desserts, and all were enjoying each other's company. Now, an hour after the party games had ended they were being summoned back indoors. B'Elanna instructed everyone to sit down at various tables around the room. "Before we present the couple with their gifts we need someone to tell us a quick, preferably embarrassing, story about their young single days, or their former love lives."

Kathryn sat at her table amused. There were a few people here who had known Chakotay for years, but no one here had any personal knowledge of her life before Voyager. She watched with interest as Ayala and Doyle took their place at the podium. Doyle began, "When I first met Chakotay I was instructed to make contact with a rebel at a place on Earth called _The Lounge. _I was told that if any rebel ships were interested in having me join them they would be given my description and they would find me. I was to wear a bandana around my neck, like the ancient cowboys did. So I'm sitting in this dark seedy place, in a small table in a corner, when a dark, tall, muscular man walks in. He sits next to me and orders us a round of drinks. Well you all know who that was right?" He asks.

The room confirmed with various yes' and uh-huh's. "Yeah that's what I thought. So I'm sitting there quietly waiting for him to say something when he leans over and tries to kiss me. I almost fell back outta my chair." Murmurs of disbelief erupt around the room. "I jumped up and screamed 'What the hell? Is that what's required to join the Maquis?'. Suddenly another dark man, this one with a slightly smaller body frame stepped between us facing the first man and says 'Sorry he's with me, and don't mind him he's been a bit confused lately, and drinking a little too much ale.' I looked around and realized the entire bar was on its feet. I was going to have to play along. So the second man, the one supposedly saving me, puts his arm around me, kisses my cheek and says 'Come on baby, let's go home and make up.' We start walking out of the place and everyone starts sitting back down when a particularly evil looking guy, who had heard me mention the Maquis, blocks the door and says 'There's a reward for Maquis rebels.' The other men around the room started to get up again." I'll let Ayala take it from here.

Ayala took the microphone "Well, Chakotay and I went to meet Doyle at a place our contact had designated. We walked in separately, scanned the place, and took our seats a short distance from each other. Of course we quickly realized that this bar catered to men who preferred the company of other men, not something out of the ordinary by any means, but definitely something our new recruit had missed. When our new recruit started screaming about the Maquis, Chakotay stepped in to save the poor guy. As they were walking out they were stopped, as Doyle said, by a man looking to get a reward for turning them over to Federation authorities. I sat there waiting, and assessing the situation when the guy at the door says 'I could tell you didn't belong here, you say he's your boyfriend; I don't believe you, someone contact Starfleet tell 'em we've got some rebels to turn in. So Chakotay absolutely shocked both Doyle and I by turning around and giving him this absolutely realistic long and passionate kiss. I don't mean a peck here people! I knew he was a ladies man but I swear most of the guys in that bar were jealous of Doyle in that moment." The room was filled with a combination of gasps and laughter and Chakotay was red as a chili pepper. Ayala continued "After the kiss the guy at the door stopped for a moment, looking them over as Doyle tried in vain not to act nervous or surprised. So the evil guy says 'I still don't believe you.' I had to do something so I jumped up and screamed 'Oh my God! Arnold is that really you? You cheating, two-timing dog!' and I lunged at Doyle. Chakotay caught me and acted as if he was going to punch me but instead we both turned around and Chakotay punched the evil guy and I threw a chair at the guy next to him, then another at random into the bar. The bar erupted into a huge bar brawl and we grabbed Doyle and ran out of the place. That's how Chakotay recruited Doyle, here. I just hope you've broken him of the habit of recruiting men and women into his service with long passionate kisses, Captain."

"Oh, I'll break him alright!" She joked and the room filled with laughter once again as Chakotay sat red faced and puckered lips, with an expression that was unreadable. It scared Doyle and Ayala just a bit.

"Uh, Captain, given the Commander's expression I think we may need to ask for your protection from our former Captain." Ayala said nervously.

"The brig is pretty safe, and you and _Arnold_ can get reacquainted in there." Chakotay responded with a bit of a smile.

B'Elanna took the microphone back and said "Now I've asked Tuvok to share something about Kathryn. Don't worry Captain, Rollins has agreed to take the bridge while Tuvok tells us his story." Tom watched as the Captain leaned back in her chair with a confident smile. Oh, yes, she was sure Tuvok wouldn't possibly share an embarrassing story about her. Tom approached the podium just as Tuvok took the microphone. "If you don't mind Tuvok, I'd really like to tell this story." Tom said.

Tom watched the Captain's expression change as Tuvok handed Tom the microphone saying "As you wish Mister Paris." She knew their father's had been friends ever since Kathryn was a child; the two had served together, who knows what kind of stories he may have heard about her, but then surely her father wouldn't have relayed anything embarrassing.

"Well some of you may know that Kathryn Janeway served with my father back when she was just an Ensign. Some of you may even know that he was her junior thesis advisor while she was still in the academy. A select few may even know that our fathers were friends." He paused, letting the revelation sink in. There were a few surprised looks in the crowd. "Oh yes, I can remember my father talking about how Little Katie Janeway was making Edward proud. That's Admiral Edward Janeway, for those of you who may not know that the Captain's father was an Admiral. By the way he spoke about her being awarded the state mathematics award, I'd swear my father was just as proud of her as Admiral Janeway was. I can still hear him, 'Let that be a lesson for you son, even without the benefit of an education at the Academy Institute she still accomplished the extraordinary. A traditionalist school is no place for her. I'm glad Edward finally listened to reason, I've been telling him this for years, and I know Little Katie has always wanted to attend the Institute.' Anyway, one year we were invited to attend Phoebe Janeway's birthday party in Indiana. Our fathers were both supposed to be there, but keeping with Starfleet Tradition, both were called off on some mission, or missions, at the last minute and were unable to attend. I was so excited about being in a place with so much grass, open land, trees, hell there was even small cluster of trees by a stream a few hundred yards from the house. At the time I thought of it as a huge forest, but I was young so everything was larger than life to me. So I went off to explore what I imagined was a _forest_."

Tom smiled at Kathryn, who still wasn't sure where he was going with this story. "I followed the stream down some distance and I was playing with frogs and insects when I heard voices. I didn't want to be forced back to some stuffy girlie party so I picked a tree and climbed up into it and sat still hiding behind the leaves. Two teenagers, a boy with dark hair and blue eyes and a pretty girl with freckles, walked right underneath my tree and sat down on a log just a couple of feet away. I heard them making plans to sneak out at night the following weekend before the boy started getting frisky. When he kissed her she put her arms around him and kissed him back, but things started getting a little more serious and his hands were going everywhere. He actually got her shirt off, there in the open, only hidden by a few trees with a full blown birthday party going on nearby. We could still hear the faint sound of music from where we were. Now, being the boy that I was I would have happily watched it play out. He kissed her again and reached both hands around her back to take off that last piece of clothing when she said, 'Don't.' I watched for a second and it seemed to me that he wasn't going to stop. He was still trying to take it off, even though she told him not to. I thought of my sisters, you know, and I decided I didn't like him very much. So I took a few worms from my pocket and dropped them right on the couple. One landed on his neck and another on her chest. They both screeched and jumped to their feet. Unfortunately I lost my balance and I had to jump off the tree limb to keep slipping off and landing right on top of them. I found my footing and stared at them for a second and they stared at me. Just then I heard my mother's voice from somewhere close by, calling for me…"

"Tommy!" Gasped the Captain. "That was you!"

"One and the same, Little Katie!" Tom gave the Captain a wide teasing smile. "As I turned to run toward my mother I heard the boy ask, 'Who was that, Kathryn?' So now I have the same question for you; Who _was_ that Kathryn?"

The Captain sat with her hands over her face, turning an unflattering crimson color. She hadn't thought of that day in years, otherwise she would have easily put it all together and realized that the boy had been Tommy Paris.

"Your hair was much lighter then, Tommy, and you had freckles, too." She answered dodging the question she'd been asked.

"Captain, you remember that time on the bridge when you mentioned sneaking out in high school? I asked where you were going and you said you'd leave that up to my imagination. Well I don't need to imagine. I heard you two making plans while I was up in that tree. If I hadn't heard you making those plans, the day of the birthday party, I wouldn't have paid any attention when I heard that you were caught. Our upstanding Captain, and that boyfriend she hasn't named, broke into Magruder's Mansion in Ohio that weekend. What they did there for two hours, I suppose only she knows. But perfect Little Katie Janeway was caught because as they were leaving she realized that there was a confused old lady living on the third floor of what should have been an empty house, and she had to go back and help her. I remember my father saying how 'that boy' was no good for her and insisting that Gretchen forbid her to see him. Then in the same breath he'd be insisting, proudly, that Katie had the guts and the character it took to go back and save the lady, even knowing that it would mean she would have to face the consequences. I imagine the punishment was severe for the unauthorized use of a transport from the Academy Institute. Not to mention that she could have faced charges for breaking and entering at Magruder Mansion. It seems our strict, by-the-book, Captain has a thing for rebellious bad boys who get her in trouble." He smirked at Chakotay, purposely allowing his double meaning to sink in, then turning back to Kathryn asked, "Shall I go on, Captain, or will you tell us the name of the boy who turned Little Katie Janeway into a delinquent? "

Kathryn Janeway was still hiding behind her hands. "You don't actually have _more, _do you Tommy?" She deliberately used his childhood nickname.

The room buzzed with amusement and surprise, as she might as well have admitted that it was true. The crew was astonished at the antics of a teenaged Kathryn Janeway. "I just might, Katie." Teased Tom.

"Alright." She said giving in. "_That_ was Cheb Parker."

"Your first heartbreak was a guy who couldn't keep his hands to himself even after you told him to stop? He's not a teenager anymore; I can break his nose if I ever meet him." Declared Chakotay.

"Well now that we know that the Captain likes bad boys and that we are all being led by a criminal Command Team I think we can move on to the presents now." Tom stepped away from the podium with a mischievous grin, and the room filled with amused chuckles.

"That wasn't really fair, Tommy told two stories about me, we only heard one about Chakotay." Complained Kathryn.

Chakotay whispered into her ear, "Do you really want to extend story time, sweetheart?"

"No!"

That evening after gifts, blessings, and wishes of good fortune had been bestowed Kathryn and Chakotay retired to their quarters exhausted. After changing into her nightgown Kathryn sat at the edge of their bed with her head in her hands, "How do I ever face that crew again? That was so embarrassing, I should have had Paris detained and sent to the brig when I realized what he was telling the crew."

Chakotay who would have happily sent Tom to the brig just a few weeks ago calmed her down, "Kathryn, you don't mean that. Besides, this isn't a typical crew anymore, remember? They understand that we've all done things in our youth. Besides, he's probably next to be married, we can get back at them both, then." Kathryn gave him a questioning look. "Oh, you don't think Doyle would have volunteered that story? No, I think a certain persuasive Klingon convinced him to share it, possibly with blackmail. Besides, you don't think Doyle and Ayala's story was embarrassing?"

"Not really, you kissed another person to save a member of your crew. I'd have done the same. Now get some rest. If this shower was any indication of how the wedding is going to go we have some exciting days ahead of us."

"Oh yes, my love, the wedding and the honeymoon are sure to beat this day hands down." Chakotay said suggestively as he pulled her into his arms.

She groaned, "Chakotay, you haven't forgotten that I'm seven months pregnant and huge as a house, have you?"

He just smiled and said what any man with any sense would say, "I think you're beautiful, my love."


	28. Chapter 28

**Thanks to all who continue reading. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

"I thought Janeway was going to kill you!" Julia told Tom. "I once mentioned that we all figured they were a couple, but only after the incident on that planet with the Rubber Tree People symbols, I thought her death glare would incinerate me on the spot. I can't imagine telling a story like that about her in front of the crew! Do you think she'll punish you?" Julia Harper sat in the mess hall with B'Elanna, Tom, Harry, Kes, Tal, and Jarvis at lunch, the day after the couples shower. Even as she spoke she mentally noted that Jarvis had made no effort to sit by her, instead choosing to sit at Tal's side.

"Not unless she plans on punishing all the women on the ship, too. After all it was you ladies who presented her with lingerie, massaging oils, and his and her edible underwear, and who gives satin sheets as a gift anyway?" Tom responded with a chuckle.

Tal piped up, "Yes, well, we were all expecting a bridal shower, remember? No men. We all had the usual bridal shower gifts ready for her before the affair became a couple's shower."

"Usual! Geez, I need to find out what really goes on at these bridal showers, I get the feeling you ladies gave us guys the G-rated version!" Tom joked. "Seriously, though the Captain took it a lot better than I expected. I was sure the whole thing was going to end with someone being carted off to the brig, or she was just going to walk right out on us."

"Poor Janeway turned every shade of red known to any species in any known quadrant." B'Elanna spoke, trying to sound sympathetic but unable to keep the smile off of her lips.

Freddy Bristow walked in to the mess hall for lunch and Julia excused herself from the group to go join him. "So which one of you guys are next to be married?" Tal asked the two couples sitting with them at the table.

The four individuals addressed looked around nervously. "Why, did someone tell you something?" B'Elanna asked, with clear irritation in her voice.

"No, I was just making friendly conversation with two couples I consider myself to be friends with. Is there something _to_ tell?" Tal pressed.

"Well, Kes and I haven't discussed marriage yet, but I suppose at some point we probably will." Harry cut in, feeling the pressure building.

B'Elanna looked from Harry to Tal and decided that is was best to come clean given her reaction to Tal's question. "Look, we didn't want to announce it until after the Captain and Commander's wedding, but yes Tom and I plan to get married. We're not sure when we're going to announce it yet.

XXXXX

After sleeping in and having a quiet morning relaxing in their quarters Chakotay was having trouble convincing Kathryn to join him in the mess hall for lunch. "I'm not sure I want to face them yet, and I am on leave, so I really shouldn't have to."

"Oh, come on Kathryn, they're our friends and our crew. What are you afraid of? They aren't going to think any less of you." Reasoned Chakotay.

"Are you sure about that?

"Aren't you being a little over dramatic, Kathryn."

"Maybe I am, but I can still blame it on the hormones!" She scanned his face as gave her a look that told her he wasn't buying it. "Oh alright, but just so you know, last night was the single most embarrassing night of my life."

"I never thought I'd say this but, I thought you were absolutely adorable." Chakotay flashed her one of his charming dimpled smiles.

"Oh no, don't call me names then try to use that smile on me. _Adorable_? The Captain of a starship _cannot_ be adorable. You'd better take that back, Commander." There was a slight teasing in her voice.

"I will, Captain, if you join me for lunch in the mess hall."

"Okay," she sighed, "Let's go."

XXXXX

The Captain and Commander entered the mess hall with her hand in the crook of his arm. As the room became aware of them the occupants began to clap, some taking the extra step of standing up as well. The Captain's face registered a slight flush, but she stood there waiting for the applause to die down. It didn't. After a moment the applause was enhanced, by a few, with whistles and cat calls, along with some comments which she considered disrespectful to her; this was crossing the line. Her body stiffened slightly and her expression hardened; the flush on her face gone. Chakotay sensed the change in her posture and braced himself for what was coming.

"Snap to!" She growled in the harshest and loudest voice she could conjure. Even Chakotay went rigid with her hand still in his arm as the entire room snapped to attention. She quickly removed her hand from Chakotay's arm and walked around the now quiet room with the seriousness and the posture of a drill sergeant; she was in full Captain's mode. Only Neelix and Kes hadn't snapped to attention, but seeing what transpired Neelix quickly ducked into his kitchen and out of sight while Kes looked around amazed. "I can accept and even understand the applause and even the cheering, but anything I consider disrespectful will not be tolerated. Catcalls, howls, crude comments, and disrespectful innuendos or attitudes are unacceptable and those who choose to engage in these will be punished. I may be on leave, I may not be in uniform, and we may be on friendly terms off duty, but I am still your Captain and you will respect me. _IS. THAT. UNDERSTOOD_?" She was redrawing the lines that had been blurred the night before.

"Yes, Captain!" Came the chorus of voices sounding loudly.

"Good! As you were." She released them back to their meal, but the atmosphere was now tense and room was unnaturally quiet.

"Come on Chakotay, let's get our lunch." She said turning to her first officer who still stood by the mess hall door with a small smile of amusement and pride.

"Yes, Captain." He said in a formal and serious tone as he walked to her almost duty bound.

"I said 'as you were' Commander, now loosen up." She smiled at him knowing he had snapped to attention with the others as a way of acknowledging her authority over the entire crew. He was aware that she hadn't expected him to snap to attention, but she loved that he had.

As they collected their lunches from Neelix, Tal and Jarvis quietly left the mess hall. Kathryn and Chakotay took the vacant spots they had left and sat with Harry, Kes, Tom and B'Elanna. The two subordinate couples sat in awkward silence, the reprimand of their Captain still ringing in their ears.

"B'Elanna?" Kathryn addressed her maid of honor who was staring intensely at her koneshi casserole with a frown.

"Yes, Captain?" Came the formal answer from the half-Klingon.

Kathryn sighed. "That wasn't directed at you four, it was directed at those making rude comments. I needed to put a stop to it before it got out of hand. You can call me Kathryn when I'm out of uniform, B'Elanna."

"I'm sorry… Kathryn… " B'Elanna apologized.

"Captain, I'm sorry, this was my fault, my stories caused this; it wasn't my intention. I just thought that it would be nice for you to be able to just be a normal person." Tom cut in taking responsibility for the incident.

The Captain smiled at Tom, thinking proudly that the young man had come a long way in a short time, "There will always be a few who try to take things too far. I understand what you were trying to do, Tommy. You know you embarrassed the hell out of me, right? And I'm not in uniform, call me Kathryn."

Tom smirked, "Are you still calling me Tommy?"

"Oh yes. I can't help it," she smiled impishly, "every time I look at you I see the little boy with the muddy knees, and messy reddish-blond hair, freckles, and that expression on your face, self-satisfied, yet scared, and I hear your mother's voice calling you Tommy. I can hear it every time I look at you now."

"Wonderful!" He said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

XXXXX

As the guests arrived on the holodeck they were stunned at the amazing gardens they found themselves in. Harry greeted and directed the guests toward the inner sections of the large maze-like gardens. "Welcome to the gardens at Ashford Castle, the wedding will take place in the garden and we will be moving indoors into one of the castle great rooms for the reception. Horse drawn carriages will be transporting the guests over to the castle." Harry informed all those arriving.

Everything was huge, the plants, the rose bushes, the altar where the vows were to be exchanged. There were rows of white chairs set up on the lawn facing the altar with a view of the castle in the background. Large rose bushes along with exotic flowers bordered the area, giving it the feel of a large and private room outdoors. There were pink and purple flowers, the ones the Captain had liked so much, adorning the aisle and the all around the altar. The guests poured in and filled the seats, leaving Voyager with only a skeleton crew to man her.

Kathryn readied herself in her quarters and was beamed to a private bedchamber in the thirteenth century holographic castle. The large room had a huge bed and had its own bath, but what Kathryn was most grateful for was the large window overlooking more than 300 acres of land, she only wished it was real land. Here in this room she finished her last minute touch ups on her make-up and was able to wait in relative comfort for her signal to proceed.

B'Elanna and Tom had approached her with many different styles for the men and women's dress. She at first, had been apprehensive about Tom's push for 20th century styles, opting to go with Starfleet dress uniforms, that was until she had found a couple of designs she absolutely loved. The men would wear a style called Black Cutaway by some evening wear designer she couldn't remember. The jackets had only one button and the smooth hemline dipped back into coat tails all looking quite elegant. It would be worn with matching silver vest, tie and handkerchief in the breast pocket. Her dress was by the same designer and had a halter top, pleated bodice, and a flowing skirt. It was all very elegant, as elegant as she could expect at just over seven months along.

The signal came letting her know that Chakotay, and her guests had arrived at the garden and it was time to begin the ceremony. She was helped up into a carriage and a holographic driver took charge of the wagon and steered them to the gardens. The guests were asked to take a seat, Tuvok stood stoic as ever before the crowd, and Chakotay, Mike Ayala at his side as his best man, tried his best to keep himself composed. The carriage stopped where the carpeted aisle began. The driver climbed down and held the door open as Tom Paris exited the coach. Tom then turned, holding a hand out to help Kathryn down.

Kathryn stood sparkling eyes, and exuberant smile captured by the flashes of holo-imagers. Her hair was pulled back away from her face, but fell in large curls over her back and shoulders. Chakotay was stunned by two thing; one was how amazingly beautiful she looked; the other was that Tom Paris was walking her down the aisle. They hadn't talked about who would walk her down the aisle in her father's stead; he had just assumed that with Tuvok officiating, she would walk the aisle alone.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" Chakotay's head snapped in astonishment to look at Tuvok as the Vulcan said these words. Had she really agreed to be _given away_? Now that was keeping with really ancient traditions.

"I stand here in her father's place and in his place_ I_ give her to be married." Answered Tom making his part in the ceremony much longer than was the customary 'I do'. Then after giving Kathryn a kiss on the forehead he placed her hand in Chakotay's saying, "Take care of her, Chakotay." Chakotay gave Tom a slight nod and led Kathryn to the altar where they exchanged traditional vows. There was some suppressed laughter when Kathryn was asked to repeat that she would 'honor and obey'. Most thought it had to have been an oversight when the traditional vows were chosen, some suspected Tom Paris of tampering with the vows. There was no way the Captain would vow to be a submissive in the relationship, and she didn't. She conveniently left out the word 'obey' as she raised an eyebrow at Tuvok as a signal that he should continue on without it.

The reception inside the castle was a wonderful event. Kathryn was worried about the toasts, given Tom Paris' stories just a few days before, however there were only well wishes and compliments for the couple on this day. The dinner was exquisite and she wondered if someone had relieved Neelix of his cooking duties for the day. They had their first dance and it was an incredibly romantic moment. Tom Paris played an old twentieth century song by some monarch called _Can't Help Falling in Love_, as the couple held each other close and stared into each other's eyes.

It came time to toss the bouquet and garter; also twentieth century traditions that are meant to predict who will be the next to marry. Kathryn stood to toss the bouquet first. The single women gathered on the dance floor behind Kathryn as the count down to the toss began. Kathryn was about to toss the bouquet straight back when she felt a compulsion to toss it to her right and further back than she originally intended. The feeling caught her by surprise but she threw the bouquet in that direction anyway. When she turned to see where it landed she saw that Kes, having been in a relatively empty spot, had caught it, or more precisely it had landed directly in her hands.

The realization disturbed Kathryn; had Kes manipulated Kathryn into throwing the bouquet directly to her? Kes smiled an exuberant smile. "Does this mean that Harry and I are next to get married?" She asked joyously.

"No." Kathryn answered quickly. "It's not an obligation; it's more of a superstition. It's supposed to be a sign that you might be next but it doesn't always work out that way." Kathryn realized that Kes might take the tradition to mean that Harry literally _had _to marry her; after all Kes had never been exposed to human traditions.

"Oh." Kes responded obviously disappointed.

_Did you have me throw it directly at you, Kes. -_ The Captain asked in her mind, not sure if she could still communicate with Kes telepathically.

_Yes. I just really want Harry to marry me before I go through the Elogium for real. Otherwise I'll never have a child._ - Responded Kes mournfully.

Just then Kathryn realized that she was being escorted away from where she stood and onto a chair.

_We'll talk about this later, Kes, but you are not to use your powers to persuade others to do anything. Do you understand? _She mentally scolded the young Ocampan.

_Yes, Captain._ - She responded.

Just then Chakotay disappeared under her dress to pull her garter off with his teeth. She had been so preoccupied with Kes that she was startled when he lifted her dress and reached under it. She let out a yelp of surprise and turned a lovey shade of sunset red, before she realized what was happening. Because of the color on Kathryn's face the crowd clapped and cheered Chakotay wildly, suspecting that he had done more than just reach for the garter. Kathryn composed herself and smirked at the image of Chakotay pulling the garter off of her leg with his teeth. Who thought these things up?

Chakotay flung the garter into the air behind him as a song blared out _Bad boys bad boys whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?_ Apparently their answer to the songs question was 'run'. In contrast to the woman who reached for the bouquet, the men scattered away from the garter as if it were a plasma charge, all except for Harry who had been purposely left out of the men's plan. When Harry instinctively reached to catch the falling object there was absolutely no competition. So it was Harry who placed the garter onto Kes' leg as Paris played the song _Let's Get it On_, much to Harry's distress.

Soon after the cake was cut and the couple made their escape. She wished the castle had been real and not just a holo-program, that way they could have stayed in a beautiful private room like the one she was in just before the ceremony. She could just see someone ending the program at the end of the night while they were still celebrating their honeymoon in one of castle rooms. She almost had to laugh out loud at the thought, but in reality it would be terrible. So instead the Command Team returned to their quarters, hoping they would have a chance to visit some planet's surface soon. Little did they know that they would soon get to visit Earth.


	29. Chapter 29

**Just a short Chapter. I still own nothing and make no money, and I still refuse to accept Threshold ever happened. I hope you enjoy.**

Kathryn strolled onto the bridge; well she would like to think of it as strolling, but truth be told her stroll had a hint of a waddle these days. She was nearing eight months pregnant and Chakotay was pressuring her to go on light duty or worse, maternity leave. She had purposely avoided taking him to her last doctor's appointment, and since the Doctor hadn't brought up any changes in duties, neither did she. By now Chakotay would have had a talked with the Doctor, so she was avoiding the healer, hoping he wouldn't go out of his way to call her in.

It had been just over three weeks since the wedding and her fears that the crew would treat her differently once she returned to duty had proven to be unfounded; or maybe it was that incident in the mess hall that had reestablished her authority in spite of the now infamous couple's shower.

She had discovered that she and Kes still had a bond. Tuvok had agreed to help Kes develop her abilities. Kes had to really concentrate to send messaged to others, and despite many experimental attempts Kes' abilities to control objects were greater than her abilities to convey messages to non-telepaths. Only she and Kathryn had that bond. Tuvok could receive Kes' messages, but Kes could never manipulate him into doing anything he didn't choose to do. Soon Kathryn too, learned to distinguish when Kes was bidding her to do something she wouldn't normally do, and thus Kes lost control over Kathryn's actions.

Kathryn sat at her place on the bridge for a few moments, looking over vital ship data on the console between herself and Chakotay. She sighed just before she began the latest in ship functions; the morning announcements. It all felt so high school to her, but she realized that a morning ship wide announcement might serve to assert facts, dispel rumors, and pass on vital information. She reviewed the morning announcements on her PADD before she opened up the ship wide link.

"Good morning Voyager crew this is your Captain speaking. We are currently traveling at warp six. At this time there are no hostile_ or_ friendly M-class planets in range. I would like to congratulate the Beta Eagles on their win in yesterday's tennis tournament, and the Delta Hustlers on their win in Friday's pool tournament. Birthday wishes go out to Ensign Macormak and Ensign Bronowsky. Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres would like to announce their engagement and extend an invitation to the entire crew to their engagement party a week from Friday in cargo bay two beginning at 0900 hours. Keep in mind that we cannot grant everyone the night off and anyone reporting late for duty on Saturday morning will be adequately punished with a loss of rations and the assignment of double-shifts, senior staff included." At that moment she could almost feel the disappointment ripple through the bridge; even Chakotay's shoulders seemed to sag. She smiled to herself. "I'd like to thank the entire crew for the outstanding work you've been doing. Have a wonderful day. Janeway out."

With that she turned the bridge over to Tuvok and headed to her ready room. Kes wanted to speak to her, she knew this instinctively and she sent a mental message to Kes to meet in her in her ready room. Kes was still distraught about getting Harry to commit to her and it was now trying the Captain's patience. "Have you tried talking to him about your expectations, Kes?"

"No. I don't know that he would understand, Captain."

"Well, Kes, I'm afraid no one else can help you. You need to talk to him, let him know what's at stake and what you're hoping for. My only advice is, do it gently. Men sometimes get scared off with the talk of marriage and children." Kathryn informed Kes.

"Oh, how do you…" Kes was cut off.

"Red alert, all hands report to your stations."

Kathryn rushed out onto the bridge with Kes trailing her.

An artificially generated distortion in the space time continuum opened up directly in front of Voyager. A ship with a federation subspace signature emerged and attacked _Voyager_ on sight, refusing to answer to hails. With helm offline and shields down it was obvious that _Voyager_ was no match for this ship. Chakotay's quick thinking saved them from the next attack by ordering a high energy poloron pulse to be sent out through the deflector ray. It was enough to disrupt the weapon being used against them. With the weapon disrupted the ship finally answered _Voyager's _hails. The Captain of the ship informed them that he was time ship Captain from the 29th century that he was there to destroy them, and that in his time an explosion destroyed Earth's solar system. Debris found at the site of the explosion included remnants of _Voyager's_ secondary hull, therefore _Voyager _must have caused the explosion and it must be destroyed to prevent it. Apparently future humans still had a lot to desire in the area of logic. Tuvok raised a silently exasperated eyebrow at the man's lack of logical evolution.

The time ship Captain remodulated his subatomic disrupter and drained the power from _Voyager's _deflector, continuing his attack on them. This time Janeway ordered adjustments to match the frequency of the timeship's weapon, overloading the ship's emitter. All the while she hung on to the railing behind her seat trying to maintain her balance as _Voyager_ shook, rocked and lurched in response to the attacks. The resulting graviton distortion pulled the time ship back into the rift in the space time continuum, unfortunately, without helm control, Voyager was pulled in as well.

For a brief moment the _Voyager _crew thought they were home. In a strange way they were; they were in orbit above Earth, but in the year 1996. _Damn! _Right place wrong time! Scans for the time ship were negative; but Tuvok detected low frequency subspace readings from an area in the northern hemisphere, on the west coast of North America, in an area that was once known as Los Angeles. The Captain quickly determined that the subspace readings must be coming from Braxton or his ship, and as far as she could tell he was the only way for them to return to their own time.

"We have to go down there; Braxton is our only way to get back to our own time; Chakotay, Kes, Paris, Tuvok you're with me. Mr. Kim you have the bridge." Kathryn gave the orders and headed to the nearest transporter room. Tom was the resident expert on the 20th century and his expertise would come in handy.

Chakotay caught her in the corridor. "Kathryn, reconsider, it could be dangerous; an away mission in your condition…"

"We're just tracking a subspace signature, Chakotay. If there's any action I'll let you and the others handle it. That's why I'm taking Kes, she can stay behind with me if necessary and she has medical training." She explained gently.

"Well, ok. If you let the rest of us handle anything that comes up." Chakotay reluctantly agreed, knowing how stubborn she was.

"It's a deal, Commander."

As they stood on the shore of a late 20th century beach they wondered why they had even bothered replicating clothing for that time period. Given the diverse and strange styles the natives were wearing they doubted anyone would have noticed a difference regardless of what they wore. The Captain ordered Tuvok and Paris to search the shore line while she, Kes and Chakotay checked the boardwalk.

As they walked along the bike path a woman on rollerblades pushed her way between Chakotay and the Captain, her hand coming up and finding a space between the Captains shirt and her jacket, where the Captain's communicator was hidden from view. The Captain stepped back slightly but her communicator, dislodged landing on the floor with a light clinking sound where is was smashed by the woman's skate as she continued to roll along.

Voyager's update informed the Command Duo that weapons were off line and that a transporter buffer had blown out. Only short range transports were available, and since having _Voyager_ seen or detected was out of the question, the away team was, in essence stranded for the time being. They also informed Tom and Tuvok that someone at the Griffith Park Observatory had detected _Voyager, _and sent them off to do damage control. The less contaminated the timeline the better.

Kathryn, using her tricorder, soon had a lock on the subspace readings; a transient pushing a cart full of trash. The homeless man noticed he was being followed, when his eyes locked with Janeway's she recognized him. "Braxton." She breathed as he directed his shopping cart at her. As he blew by them the casual observer might conclude that he hit a pregnant woman with his cart and kept going. What most people didn't see was the small weapon concealed in his hand. As he ran past the Captain he pressed the weapon to her side and fired it. Kathryn staggered; Kes held her up as Chakotay hesitated, torn between following him and staying at Kathryn's side. "Go, Commander!" She ordered. As he turned to follow Captain Braxton, Captain Janeway sank to the ground. Almost immediately, a crowd began to form around her, preventing Kes from freely contacting_ Voyager_.

XXXXX

Chakotay followed Braxton to an alley where Braxton was living out of a car. It wasn't easy but he was able to extract the necessary information from Braxton. When they came through the rift Braxton's ship entered Earth's atmosphere 30 years in time before _Voyager_ did. A man named Starling found his time ship and had been using the technology from the ship for his own personal gain; building a successful corporation to slowly, and very profitably, releasing new technology to the public. If this man launched the time ship he would be the cause of the temporal explosion that prompted Braxton to seek out _Voyager_ to destroy her in the first place. It wasn't Voyager, but Braxton's own ship that caused the catastrophic event. Chakotay almost felt grateful that Kathryn hadn't followed Braxton all the way to the alley; he knew how temporal loops had always given her a headache.

Chakotay headed out of the alley to find the Captain and let her know that this Mr. Starling person had to be found. When he returned to where he had left them, Kes and Kathryn were nowhere to be found.

XXXXX

"An ambulance is on its way hang on there, honey." A friendly woman told the Captain as she slowly lost the ability to think clearly. An indescribable haze descended over her as she teetered in an out of consciousness. She was vaguely aware of being tied down to a board and being placed in a vehicle. Someone clung to her, squeezing her fingers, and speaking to her in a soothingly reassuring voice. It must be Kes. Yes, Kes was at her side the entire time holding her hand and crying out in pain when Kathryn was too weak to cry out herself. The strange uniforms around her were poking and prodding and feeling her body. She made out some words. "Low B.P., accelerated pulse, blood sugar's lo, shallow breath…" Then everything went dark.


	30. Chapter 30

Astronomer Rain Robinson was having the, hands down, most incredibly bizarre day of her live. Some time ago Mr. Starling, the man funding the SETI lab she worked for, had given her orders to watch for a gamma emission with a particular frequency. He was to be notified immediately if she ever detected any. That day she detected the gamma emissions and notified him as ordered. She realized that no other search parameters were picking up the signal and wanted to inform other agencies. Starling gave her a line about premature speculation and ordered her to stay quiet. She figured it wouldn't do any harm emailing her college buddy over at JPL. Starling found out and sent 'someone to take care of her'.

After going out to pick up some lunch she found two strange men in her office. Sure the blond one was kinda cute but still there was something not quite right about either of them. The blond one, the one who called himself Tom Paris, said her lab was "groovy". _Nobody says groovy anymore- s_he thought. He suspiciously knew too much about her work, however. He claimed to have majored in astrophysics at someplace called StarFleet Academy, it was no place she'd ever heard of. He leaned in too close and smiled a little too sweet, making her feel like he was either flirting or hunting, or both. She invited him to come back for a presentation she gives on Tuesdays and he turned her down. _Well that was a 180-_ she thought with a frown. She had been sure he was interested in her.

She dejectedly sat back down in front of her computer and began to punch in some commands when the whole thing crashed, wiping the hard drive completely. One second she had a sophisticated state of the art computer, the next she had the bulkiest paper weight ever made. She blinked, _Damn them! _She ran out to catch the two intruders. She confronted them in the parking lot, demanding to know what they had done to her computer when a man suddenly shot some kind of weapon at them. It was like nothing she'd ever seen or even heard of. One minute the man was firing at them the next the pickup truck Tom Paris and his strange friend were driving was completely vaporized. Gone. Disintegrated! She and the two men ran for their lives, fleeing the scene in her car.

XXXXX

Kes, pulled her baseball cap lower over her ears and held the Captain's hand in the strange medical vehicle that arrived to help. She wasn't sure what was going on, but the Earthlings had said something about a hospital. She hoped they were really trying to help and that they would be able to.

"What happened to her? Is she on any medication? Does she take any kind of drugs?" Asked a young medic in a white and blue uniform. The sleeve had a strange patch with a cross on it. Kes was glad she had her communicator in the pocket of her tunic.

"I… I don't know… a man; he hit her with his cart and fired some kind of weapon into her side." Kes stammered. The medic lifted the side of Kathryn's shirt and saw an angry red rippled burn that was already beginning to bubble and fill with pus.

"Gomez, look at this, does this look like an electrical burn to you? She said someone used some kind of stun gun or something on her, but it doesn't look like anything I've ever seen." He told the other medic riding with them in the cargo space of the vehicle.

"Good God! It looks a like radiation burn, but that's impossible!" He looked over at Kes, "Ma'am are you ok?" He asked noticing her pale complexion, the circles around her eyes, and the sheen of sweat that was now covering her skin and matting down her hair.

"Yes I'm fine. Please, just take care of my… my Aunt Kathryn." Pleaded Kes even as her link with Kathryn caused pain and waves of nausea crashed through her body.

There was a flurry of activity when they arrived at the hospital. The medics left and Kathryn was taken into a room where people were running in and out of but Kes was not allowed into. A doctor dressed in the same green pants suit as the rest of the staff finally came out to find the patients family.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Naylor. Are you Kathryn… what is it, Janeway? Interesting name, are you her niece?" seeing Kes nod he continued, "She is critical but stable for now but her baby is in distress. The baby's vitals are unstable and if we don't deliver her now, I'm afraid she won't make it." The doctor informed Kes.

"Can I see her?" Kes was hoping to get a moment alone with the Captain and hopefully get them beamed out for proper 24th century care.

"I'm sorry she's already being prepped for emergency surgery; let me show you to the surgical waiting room, we'll come find you when we have news." With that he led her off to sit and wait with others who had the misfortune of having a loved one in surgery.

Kes wondered out of the waiting room looking for an empty room where she could try and contact _Voyager._ She walked the maze of corridors until she came to an area with exam rooms, finding an empty one she quickly stepped inside.

"Kes to Voyager."

"Kim here go ahead Kes."

"Harry, the Captain's been hurt, we're in a hospital. They've taken her into surgery to deliver the baby. It doesn't look good Harry. We have to get her out of there so that the Doctor can treat her. I don't know how far behind medical technology was in 1996."

"It may take a little while to fix the transport buffers Kes. The only way to beam her out right now is to bring _Voyager _in 10 kilometers from the surface. The Captain gave strict orders that we are not to be seen."

"Harry, the baby's life is in danger. They said she'll die if she's not delivered immediately."

The sound of a toilet flushing behind another door in the room, a door Kes hadn't noticed until then, prompted Kes to end the communication.

"Who are you?" The confused woman asked Kes.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know this room was occupied, I was looking for a quiet place to…" Kes wasn't sure how to finish that sentence, but the woman nodded in understanding.

"Bad news?" She asked, when Kes simply continued staring at the floor without an answer the woman suddenly felt compelled to share, which truth be told was completely out of character for her.

"Yeah, me too. I was hoping that Dr. Campbell could do something for me but I guess even the leading fertility expert in the country isn't going to help me. I'm Dana by the way."

"Kes." "

"Well Kes I certainly hope you have better luck than I did." Kes could feel a wave of emotions coming from the woman, this Dana, person. She wrapped her arms around her in a hug intended to comfort, startling the woman for a moment. Suddenly the women both disappeared in a shimmer of blue light, reappearing in _Voyager's _sick bay.

"What the hell?" The woman screamed and reached for a weapon at her waist. The doctor quickly moved in to sedate her.

"Wonderful, they sent me the wrong redhead" The doctor's voice was sarcastic and impatient as ever. He scanned the woman anyway.

"Kim to sickbay, report."

"Well Mr. Kim I'm still waiting for the Captain, but Kes and the 20th century woman, FBI Agent no less, that you beamed here seem to be ok." The Doctor's attitude didn't do anything good for Harry's mood.

Harry had located Kes' commbadge and a quick scan confirmed that she was alone in a room with another female. Given his need for stealth, and the urgency of the situation, he acted before the Captain's biosignature was confirmed. That was a mistake. He would have to turn around and make another pass over Southern California, and this time he'd have to put the wrong woman back and beam up the right one. It was going to take time to scan the entire hospital for the Captain's bio-signature; luckily Kes gave him a rough idea of where the maternity ward was. He'd never sit in the big chair again, he was sure of it.

Kes quickly explained to the Doctor why the woman in the biobed had been in the hospital.

"Oh I see the problem. Someone mutilated her ovaries. What kind of… Well given some time I may be able to fix it but it'll take a couple of surgeries. One surgery to remove the damage and stimulate the recovery of the salvageable tissues and ova, another to generate additional ova. Although she still has some, but they'll never be of any use buried under all this damage. You know, human females are born with all the ova they will naturally produce. In the 20th century there was nothing to be done, but we have the technology to fix that now."

Kes paced the room hardly listening to him. All she could think about was the Captain.

The Doctor continued, saying things Kes had no interest in at the moment "Kes? KES?"

"Oh yes Doctor?" Kes snapped out of her thoughts and noticed that the doctor was already treating the unconscious woman.

"Doctor, should you be treating her, after all the Captain wanted us to follow the Temporal Prime Directive."

"My ethical subroutines require that I treat all those needing treatment. She sought treatment for this condition, from what you've said, and she's already in my sickbay therefore I must treat her for it." Explained the doctor. The doctor never finished the woman's treatment, however, and he hoped that in some time she may be able to conceive a child due to what he had already done. It might take a few years, and she may only have a shot at one or two children but thanks to him it was still a chance. He was satisfied with himself on that front.

Harry took Voyager back up past the point of visual detection then readied her to make another pass over Southern California. This time scanners were searching for the Captain's biosignature. He found her alone in a room and began his second descent. He ordered the sedated woman beamed back to the room Kes found her in, and ordered the Captain beamed directly to sick bay. He didn't realize that the reason she was alone in a room was because she was already in recovery. The surgery was complete; the Captain was no longer pregnant.

Harry decided not to inform Chakotay that Kathryn's injuries had been serious. After all, the Captain would want them to complete their mission and Chakotay needed to stay focused. Even so he was sure they were never going to leave him in charge of anything again.

XXXXX

Chakotay found Starling's company; a place called Chronowerx. He waited until nightfall to break in and "look around". He detected a force field behind a wall, and a massive data base in the computer. Using his tricorder he gained access to the computer files. He found that all the technology that Chronowerx, Starling's company, had developed had been based on technology from Braxton's time ship. He also found designs for a launching bay for the time ship. He contacted _Voyager_ and asked Harry to establish a link with the tricorder and upload all the information on Starling's computer. Searching through the information he found the launching bay, behind the wall with the force field. He stood there staring at the time ship for a moment when the lights came on and Starling entered the room. As Chakotay and Starling exchanged not-so-pleasant pleasantries Harry contacted him to inform him that they were ready to upload the information on his signal. Chakotay told him to go ahead. As soon as Starling noticed that his computer was sending out the information he snatched the commbadge away from Chakotay. With the commbadge he told Harry to break the link or he would kill the Commander. Harry broke the link. With the transporter buffer still offline Harry couldn't beam the Commander onto _Voyager_ and out of harm's way. He would have to go back down, close to the surface again. He knew was going to be in a lot of trouble but he had to save Chakotay too. He ordered a lock on the Commander and told B'Elanna to be ready to beam him directly to the bridge.

XXXXX

The doctor scanned the Captain as soon as she materialized in sick bay. "Barbarians!" He looked up at Kes. "They cut right through her abdomen; skin, muscle, uterus, everything! And they tore the baby right out of her. And what is this? The sewed her back together like a patched up old sock! They didn't even heal the burn on her skin!"

Kes took the dermal regenerator and began working on the burn on the Captain's side. The Doctor's voice rang out again this time with a hint of panic. "The radiation destroyed most of her bone marrow. We have to get that baby back here for treatment now! Kes, I'm going to start the surgery to remove the damage marrow and hopefully regenerate the bits of healthy marrow that are left. Have Harry come down here so I can explain the situation to him." The Doctor ordered all the while working on the Captain and refusing to take any time away from her to call Harry himself.

Kes asked Harry to send her down to find the baby but Harry refused; he would send Tom for her, he couldn't risk another pass at the planet's surface. He ordered her to stay and help the Doctor with the Captain. Kes stayed and repaired Kathryn's wounds; she sealed the cuts on her abdomen and uterus, she treated the swelling of tissues associated with childbirth, and stimulated regrowth of healthy skin where the burn was and treated the Captain for exposure to radiation. Meanwhile the doctor worked frantically to stimulate the growth of bone marrow and bring back the appropriate balance of her blood's molecular makeup.

After the procedure was finished the doctor let the Captain rest for a little while. He knew that as soon as he woke her she would spring back into action. She wouldn't take a break as long as she thought the crew and the ship needed her, he could only imagine what she would do knowing her child was still on the planet and most likely very ill.

When he woke her she immediately lowered her hand to her abdomen and realized that it no longer contained her child. She sat up quickly, not realizing how sore her body would be. She groaned in pain. "Doctor, what happened?"

"The butchers the 20th century called _Doctors_ delivered your baby with a procedure they called a cesarean section where they literally cut the baby out of the mother's body." Kathryn tried to contain her horror at his revelation, her baby had been born on 20th century Earth.

"Where is my baby now?" she looked around the room with concern.

Kes and the Doctor exchanged nervous glances and Kes sat down to give her the whole story.

Kathryn rushed out of sickbay, luckily Kes had changed her into fresh undergarments and a new uniform just before the doctor woke her otherwise she'd be wearing nothing but a 20th century hospital gown. She made the silent realization that it was not a maternity uniform she was wearing. She rushed onto the bridge just as Chakotay was beamed in from the surface.

_Oh Damn! _Thought Harry _I'm a dead man._

"Helm, maintain present altitude." Called out Chakotay.

"Keep us within transporter range." Kathryn and Chakotay called out simultaneously. Chakotay turned and saw her for the first time since Braxton hit her with his cart on the surface. A look of surprise seized his face for a moment as he realized she was no longer pregnant. He thought Kathryn must have jumped back into uniform the moment the baby was born; he'd force her to take time off as soon as this crisis was done. He was sorry that he had missed the baby's birth but once they recovered that timeship he was heading straight to sickbay to see his child.

"I'm going to try to disable the force field around that timeship. B'Elanna, get ready to beam it to cargo bay 2. Ensign Kim, good timing." Chakotay was in control of the bridge.

Kathryn stood for a moment as she realized she didn't know what was going on. "Ensign Kim, report!"

_Here it comes, next he'll want to know what happened to her and the baby, and they are both going to kill me. I'm gonna die! _Kim quickly filled the Captain in on how Commander Chakotay found the timeship, while Chakotay worked to disable the force field.

Starling was able to disrupt the transporter beam. Kim informed them that he was using the transporter beam as a downlink to access _Voyager's_ computer. He accessed the propulsion systems and took _Voyager's_ inertial dampers offline. _Voyager _rumbled and shook. They had to disengage their transporters. By the time the link was cut the madman had taken 20% of _Voyager's _main computer files.

"Get us back into orbit and I want a full damage report!" Chakotay barked out the orders Captain Janeway couldn't give.

"NO! Keep us…" Janeway began but Henry Starling cut her off.

"Captain Janeway!" He sneered.

"Janeway here." She answered much calmer than she felt.

"Captain Janeway, USS _Voyager_ intrepid class. Not nearly as advanced as I expected." The insufferable man droned on about them only having 24th century technology while he had 29th century technology. Janeway decided to cut him off, she had no time for his drivel she had more important things to do.

Chakotay informed them there was only minor damage to the ship. Kes reported that the Doctor was missing; his program was now in the hands of Henry Starling, and Neelix reported that Earth's news stations were now reporting on sightings of _Voyager_ over the Southern California skies.

"Captain we have to move back into orbit." Insisted Chakotay.

"No! Not yet. Harry, has Tom located the baby? Get to work on getting the doctor back, Chakotay, she's going to need him when we get her back!" Kathryn was as close to panic as he'd ever seen her.

"What do you mean get her back? Where is my daughter, Kathryn?!" Chakotay raised his voice at her and used her first name, both firsts while on the bridge.

"Harry, I hope you have an answer to that question!" The Captain urged him to respond.

"Captain, Paris and Tuvok along with a civilian were being chased by a man trying to vaporize them with an unknown weapon; quite advanced. They only had one communicator between the two because the weapon disrupted the one Tom was wearing. Tom assured me he was headed to the hospital while Tuvok kept the civilian safe, but he wanted to ensure he wasn't being followed. He didn't want to endanger the baby." Harry explained.

"So you don't know if he has the working communicator? Contact him, if he doesn't answer contact Tuvok."

"I've tried ma'am neither are responding."

"Lock on his commbadge." She ordered.

"I'm unable to find it, Captain."

"So neither one has a working communicator, they've most likely split up, and one of them may or may not have my child, who may be very sick; and we don't have a doctor. Am I missing anything, Ensign Kim?"


	31. Chapter 31

**Thanks to all who have, read, reviewed, followed and favorite. I hope you'll continue to read and enjoy my story. I'm going to try to get another Chapter up in the next few days otherwise it may be two weeks before I can get another one out, as I am going out of town.**

**Reviews are appreciated. Thanks.**

* * *

After some discussion Tuvok convinced Tom that it was illogical for him to go after Baby Janeway alone. After all he would need transportation, and taking a child from a hospital might require a distraction. It was best to work together, and it was best to wait for hospital visiting hours; there was no need to make themselves any more conspicuous. They would wait until morning.

Morning found the trio, waking to the bright California sun, parked at a public park. Tuvok had gone in search of breakfast while Tom sat on a park bench, enjoying the cool onshore breeze and fiddling with the components of, what used to be, Rain's car stereo. When the hope of sending a locator signal with the car stereo vanished amidst sparks and a small puff of smoke, the trio came up with another option; use the radio dish at the observatory to send a signal to_ Voyager_. First, however, they needed to take a trip to find a certain 24th century infant.

Entering the cold, supposedly sterile, hospital environment, Tom shivered. There were lives being lost here at this very moment, and if he valued his he'd better find that Baby Janeway wasn't one of them. "Excuse me, Ms? My girlfriend had our baby here yesterday… my girlfriend, she's… troubled, she called me saying she left town and left our baby girl in the hospital. She said if I want her I should come get her. Maybe you can help me find my daughter; her mom's name is Janeway, Kathryn Janeway. I don't think she gave the baby a name before she ran off." Tom gave his sob story to the cranky looking old woman at the information desk. His poor boy charm must have worked because when the unpleasant old woman looked up at him, and was knocked back by his puppy dog baby blues, her expression softened and she gave him a nauseating smile.

"Sure, honey, I can help you." She searched her computer for a moment and said, "Ok sweetie, Baby Janeway is in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, 3rd floor, take the section B elevators up, and let the nurses know that you're her daddy." She smiled; a grotesque sight with cigarette stained teeth and horrid breath.

"Thank you." Tom gave her a charming smile then walked on, shivering as soon as the woman was out of sight.

In the neonatal intensive care department what he found made his heart drop into his stomach. Baby Janeway was on a ventilator, a crude device that physically forced air into the lungs, and she had several tubes and sensors stuck to her body in various ways. She looked tiny in her little 20th century infant biobed; and so very fragile. He was struck by how her dark red-brown hair reminded him of her mother's fiery spirit and he hoped she'd inherited that spirit. He quickly realized that he couldn't remove the infant from this setup unless he had immediate access to sickbay. This was going to be a problem. He would have to go to the observatory and contact _Voyager_, if he was lucky they would have their transporters back to full capacity again.

XXXXX

After realizing that the military was investigating the _Voyager _sightings the Command Team reluctantly made the decision to return to orbit, leaving their daughter on the surface. They would return in a shuttle, one that could be made to appear like a small 20th century air craft. B'Elanna shuddered at the memory of the Captain when she realized they would have to return to orbit. No one dared to even look at her, afraid that with eye contact, she might somehow cause them to instantaneously combust.

The Captain immediately called a meeting. She needed to get her child from the surface, and there was still the issue of that damned time ship. She wished she could concentrate all her efforts on finding her baby, but she knew they had to find that time ship, and save the future too. As she was explaining to Lieutenant Torres how she wanted a shuttle modified an audio transmission came in from Paris and Tuvok. They quickly explained how they used the observatory's satellite dish to carry and receive _Voyager_ messages to and from Rain's cell phone, or as Tuvok called it her "primitive communications device". Tom then filled them in on Baby Janeway's condition, and how he didn't feel he could remove her from the devices she had been connected to; not unless he could get her to sickbay immediately.

B'Elanna, Chakotay, and Jarvis took a shuttle to the surface, as ordered by the Captain. B'Elanna was able to make adjustments to prevent radar detection, and she configured the shields to make the shuttle look like a small 20th century aircraft. As soon as they were close enough they beamed Jarvis down with a new supply of communicators and beamed Tom aboard. Tom had already explained that he told the nurses he was the baby's father so the logical choice was to send Tom in after her. They supplied him with a medical tricorder and beamed him down to the hospital.

Meanwhile Tuvok and Jarvis had Rain call Starling. Claiming to be afraid of the men who were chasing her she asked Starling to come pick her up at Metro Plaza. Starling agreed. Starling called his crony, Dunbar, to join him. He equipped the Doctor with a mobile holo-emitter, allowing the Doctor to move about freely, and forced him to join them too.

Tom called for a beam out as soon as he thought it was safe to do so. Because of the ventilator he couldn't take the baby into the small private areas set up for breastfeeding moms so he just had to take a chance at transporting when no one was looking. He waited for the right moment. He called for a beam out just as he disconnected the ventilator tube from the mouth piece and grabbed a bag valve mask to keep the baby breathing manually. As he materialized in the shuttle he put the baby on the floor and pulled the ventilator tube out of her mouth and throat. He placed the mask over her mouth and nose and screamed "Get us to sickbay, NOW!" as he began to squeeze the bag in an even paced rhythm. Chakotay tried to turn to look at his child for just an instant, but Tom's body was in the way. He entered the commands for a beam out to sickbay and, after the glimmering light took Tom and his daughter away, all that was left behind was the ventilation tube that had been used to force her to breath. Chakotay felt an overwhelmingly painful mix of emotions as he stared at it for a moment, unsure if he should be grateful or angry at the primitive, barbaric medical practices of ancient Earth; but they had kept his child alive…

"Jarvis to Chakotay" Jarvis cut into Chakotay's thoughts.

"Go ahead, Jarvis" Answered Chakotay.

"He's here and he's got the doctor with him. I'm trying to get the exact coordinates to you now."

"How can he have the Doctor there?" asked Chakotay bewildered.

"I don't know. Are you ready? I'm sending the coordinates now." Replied Jarvis.

Starling had met them figuring that he was walking into a trap. He took a 29th century tricorder with him and a weapon that could vaporize a small building. When he met Rain he forced into his car. As soon he got her in a transporter beam lit up in the car. Starling began pushing buttons on his tricorder, attempting to disrupt the beam, causing minor damage to the shuttle, and shutting down some of its main systems.

The Doctor took the opportunity to try to overpower Dunbar, the crony, and instructed Rain to escape. After a few moments the Doctor himself was able to escape as well.

Starling was kept in the transport buffers of the shuttle momentarily then _Voyager_ beamed him directly to the brig. B'Elanna and Chakotay, lost propulsion and their shuttle crashed on the surface.

XXXXX

Kathryn Janeway sat uncomfortably in her Captain's seat on the bridge. As soon as she heard that her child arrived in sickbay she stood and headed out of the bridge. She would have walked much faster if her body hadn't been screaming out in protest. The Doctor had said she needed at least two weeks to recover, but this wasn't the time for a vacation. As she arrived she noticed that Tom and Kes had set up a privacy screen. She could hear them talking about oxygenation, blood cell counts, necrotized marrow; it all seemed surreal. She could hear and feel them shuffling about desperately trying to save her daughter. Her link with Kes let her know that Kes was afraid it wouldn't be enough. Kes, was now aware that Kathryn was in the room, and she too could feel the other woman's fears.

"Kim to Janeway."

"Go ahead Ensign." Her voice cracked just a little. She started walking out of sickbay and back to the turbo lift. She wasn't about to interrupt Tom and Kes, not when her daughter's life was at stake. Kes had, whether purposely or not, let her know that this was not the time to interfere with their attempts to save the little girl. They couldn't afford any distractions.

"Chakotay has Starling in the transport buffers, but his shuttle is having difficulty maintaining its systems operational. It seems Starling is using some sort of devise to try to disrupt the transport."

"Beam him directly to the brig."

As Starling materialized he slumped over dizzily. This gave the Captain an opportunity to take the tricorder from him. Setting the force field on his cell, she stepped away to find out the status of the shuttle and her people. Once she gathered the information she needed she decided to contact Tuvok. She chose to use the 20th century cell phone he'd previously used to contact them; after all they were still traveling with the 20th century girl.

Tuvok answered the ringing cell phone. Captain Janeway gave him orders. "Tuvok, we have Starling, but Commander Chakotay and Lieutenant Torres went down somewhere in Arizona. I'm sending you the coordinates. I need you to find them and help them make the necessary repairs. Have Jarvis go to Chronowerx we still need that time ship."

"Aye, Captain."

She returned to Starling and demanded that he drop the force field around Chronowerx and let her get the time ship. He refused, informing her that he reconfigured the force field to blow the entire city of Los Angeles to nothing if she so much as tried to get near the time ship. After a brief chat she realized that the man was insane or at least mad with greed and an over inflated ego. He didn't care who died so long as he could continue to market revolutionary commercial products. She left him there and returned to the bridge.

Tuvok contacted the Captain to inform her that he and the Doctor we're nearing the location of the shuttle crash in a vehicle they had "borrowed" Tom Paris style. She had just ended the communication when Ensign Kim told her there was an unauthorized transport. Using a satellite in orbit, and the time ship, Starlings lap dog, Dunbar, beamed him right out of Voyager. Tracking the signal they found that he had been returned to Chronowerx.

"Jarvis to Voyager" the communication's link came from the cell phone.

"Go ahead Jarvis." Answered the Captain.

"Captain a large cargo vehicle is leaving chronowerx, I'm getting a reading for tachyon emissions; it looks like they are moving the ship."

"Stay on them they may be going to a launch site. Our weapons are still offline and I'm waiting on an update from Tuvok on the shuttle. It may be up to you to stop this." The Captain's words struck a good deal of fear into Jarvis. He couldn't remember a single time anyone's life depended on him, let alone, thousands or maybe even billions.

"I'll do my best, Captain. Jarvis out." He managed to choke out. Then turning to Rain he asked, "Do you think we could ask you for just one more favor."

She smiled. She liked Jarvis a whole lot more than she liked Tom Paris. She agreed to help him and they set out after the big rig that Jarvis had called a cargo vehicle.

XXXXX

With Tuvok's help repairs on the shuttle went much faster, not as fast as B'Elanna would have liked but she would have to take the help and be grateful for it.

Unfortunately the big rig had been a decoy. While Jarvis and Rain followed the rig out into the lonely California desert, Starling prepared the time ship for launch from the Chronowerx building. Dunbar, from behind the wheel of the big rig, began firing at them. The Rain's van stalled during an evasive maneuver giving him the opportunity to turn the rig around and aim it right at Rain's van, in a deadly game of chicken. Deadly, that is, for anyone in the smaller vehicle. Just as Jarvis and Rain bailed out the shuttle swooped in and fired on the big rig, sending it up in ball of fire.

B'Elanna scanned the debris. That's when they realized that the rig had been a decoy; there was no time ship in the rig.

The news was not welcome on _Voyager's _bridge.

"He must be launching from somewhere else. Harry, scan for that time ship." She still didn't have weapons. A photon torpedo could destroy the time ship but it would have to be launched manually. She turned the possibilities over in her mind. If he launched that time ship now, she'd barely have time to make it to the torpedo tube.

"Paris to Janeway."

She felt guilty about her response even before she was able to form it. "Is it important Mr. Paris I'm a little busy right now."

"Uh, yes Captain. I've done all I can for the baby for now. She needs a bone marrow donor. She didn't have any healthy marrow left to regenerate. I can make the DNA modifications to the donated marrow to match her sequence, but it'll be much faster, and much more effective if the marrow is from one of her parents. The surgery itself takes time. Captain, she doesn't have the time to wait for the process involved to make a non-relative donor marrow work. It has to be you or Chakotay." Tom's explanation was heard on the entire bridge.

"Captain, he's launched the ship from Chronowerx. " Kim's voice chimed in, referring to Starling.

"Janeway to shuttle craft return to _Voyager_ immediately." Maybe Chakotay could make it back in time.

"Mr. Paris, I'll be there as soon as I can, but start searching Voyager's medical records, if there is anyone else who comes even close, ask them if they are willing to donate marrow. It won't do any good to save my child just to have this time ship kill us all." She wanted to run to sickbay and save her child, but the Captain in her wouldn't abandon them now. The bridge crew stood by astonished by the choice she'd made.

"I've armed the photon torpedoes, but the launch sequencers aren't responding. Take the bridge Mr. Kim. Open the access portal to torpedo bay 1. I'm going to reconfigure for manual launch." She ordered.

"Captain? You'd have to launch from inside the tube, that's too dangerous." Ensign Kim frantically followed her to the lift, trying to get her to change her mind.

"You have your orders Mr. Kim!" She commanded as the doors to the lift closed in front of her.

As the Captain reconfigured the launch sequence for a manual launch Kim reported that the shuttle was back on board. _Oh thank goodness! _She thought surely Chakotay would go straight to sick bay to start the donor surgery.

Chakotay, along with all those who had been on the surface returned in the shuttle. Entering the bridge Chakotay called out "Status!"

"The Captain is in torpedo tube one and she's preparing for a manual launch." Kim's answer echoed in his head, _a manual launch._

He knew it had to be done. They couldn't let a madman destroy the future and take them along with it. She was already down there; it would have to be her to do it. "Doctor, get down there!" He barked knowing that she couldn't possibly launch the torpedo and remain unharmed. The doctor had to take an escort to help him find torpedo tube one, as he had always been confined to sickbay.

In that moment nobody mentioned the baby. Everyone focused on their job, and no one realized that Chakotay hadn't yet been informed.

"The time ship is powering its temporal field generator. He will be able to open a temporal rift in seconds." Tovok had returned to his place at tactical and was now reporting his readings.

"The field is unstable; if he enters the unstable rift he will create a temporal explosion." Chimed in B'Elanna.

"Rollins, close to within 10 kilometers. We'll ram him if we have to." Chakotay was as determined as the Captain.

"Janeway to bridge I've reconfigured for manual launch. Arm torpedo and lock on target."

"Torpedo armed, locked on target." Came Tuvok's ever calm voice.

"Hail Starling" Called out Chakotay. When Starlings face appeared on the view screen Chakotay demanded. "Pull away from the rift."

"Or what? Your weapons are down. See ya… sometime." Came the egotistical man's annoying voice in response and he ended the transmission.

Chakotay hated to give the order, but he had to. As the time ship entered the rift he commed the Captain. "Chakotay to Janeway, Captain, we have no other choice. Fire."

As Janeway fired the torpedo the fiery blowback hit her full force, throwing her back and and burning her flesh. She wondered why Chakotay wasn't in sickbay before she lost consciousness.

She regained consciousness only a minute or two later and was getting to her feet when the Doctor finally found her. "So this is what you do when you're ordered to take it easy for two weeks." The doctor began scanning her almost immediately. She made her way out of the bowels of the ship, ignoring the Doctor as best as she could.

On the bridge the view screen lit up as the torpedo hit its mark. Starling and the time ship were completely obliterated. Just a few seconds later the rift reopened and Braxton appeared on the view screen and ordered _Voyager _to follow him into the rift and be returned back to the time and place they were taken from. He wouldn't consider leaving them in the Alpha Quadrant, the temporal prime directive wouldn't allow it. Chakotay ordered Rollins, who was at the helm, to follow Braxton in.

"Janeway to Chakotay."

"I'm on my way to sickbay, where you informed of our daughter's medical situation?"

"What medical situation?" Even as he answered in confusion he headed toward sickbay, only giving Tuvok a nod as he left the bridge. Tuvok understood, the bridge was now his.

"She needed a bone marrow transplant from a parent as soon as possible. I'm on my way there, now. But I couldn't ask anyone else to fire the torpedo. I thought you'd go as soon as your shuttle was back on board." She was moving as fast as her aching body would allow her to go.

"I didn't know Kathryn. I'm on my way there. Chakotay out." He started to jog.

Chakotay entered sickbay and suddenly stopped, starring at the sight in front of him, mouth open in shock. Kathryn came in just a few seconds later; Chakotay was still rooted to the spot. Tom Paris sat on a biobed in a medical gown, next to him an empty infant biobed, in his arms a small baby still wearing the white shirt and a pink and blue striped cap from the 20th century hospital. He looked up at the couple then his watery eyes focused on Kathryn. "I scanned the medical files like you asked, _Katie_." Then softly he asked "Did you know?" He waited for a response and when all he got was a frozen look of shock he continued. "You know I wondered, I really did, but then I thought… nah, it couldn't be." Kathryn reached out to hold Chakotay's hand for support. He didn't pull away but he didn't respond to her touch either. Tom looked down at the baby and, as his tears threatened to fall, he told her. "I'm going to give you to your mom now. Welcome to the Paris family kid, I hope you do better than I did."

Kathryn shook her head, "No, it's not possible."


	32. Chapter 32

**Here's the last Chapter before my vacation. I rushed through it a bit so I hope it's all coherent. I hope you enjoy. Thanks for sticking with me.**

* * *

Daniel Jarvis walked into the mess hall hoping to get a bite to eat before going to bed. It had been a long day; a good one but long and tiresome nonetheless. Grabbing a tray of Neelix's Gandorian Surprise he turned and scanned the room. He spotted Tal sitting with, her long time friend, Billy Telfer and headed over to sit with them.

"Hi Billy, Hi Tal." Jarvis greeted them warmly.

"Hi Jarvis." Both Billy and Tal greeted him, but Tal continued. "I can't believe you got to see 20th century Earth. What was it like?" Jarvis couldn't help but smile.

"It was pretty incredible. You heard about the astronomer that was helping Tom and Tuvok? She was pretty amazing, too. She kissed me before B'Elanna beamed me back to the shuttle." He grinned.

Tal giggled. "Oh Jarvis, you left her 70,000 light years and 500 years away and you're grinning like you were just elected Federation president."

"Well, she was smart, and funny, and pretty too… and she _liked_ me." Jarvis explained.

"Jarvis! Just because Julia is falling over herself for Bristow doesn't mean that girls don't like you." Tal scolded him.

"It's true." Billy confirmed. "I happen to know that Ensign Kaplan had a bit of a crush on you our first year out here."

"Really? No one ever told me anything about that." Jarvis tried to think back to their first year in the Alpha Quadrant but he couldn't remember Kaplan acting strange around him at all.

Julia Harper walked into the mess hall for some dinner. Ensign Wildman had just picked up Naomi from the child care room, after a shift that went well over its normal time, and Julia was looking forward to relaxing for the rest of the evening.

She took her tray and quickly scanned the room. She saw Jarvis sitting with Tal and Billy and she frowned. She was used to Jarvis bending over backwards for her even while she chased after Bristow. Lately, however, he was content to spend time with Tal, and Freddy Bristow merely tolerated her.

XXXXX

Tom turned to face Kathryn and said "Don't you want to hold your daughter, Katie?"

Kathryn closed her eyes for a moment and squeezed Chakotay's hand. Tears had started to form and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold them back. Kathryn moved forward to pick her up; to see and to hold her child for the first time. Her feet were heavy and unsteady, and her knees wobbled, her head spun and she lost her center. Everything went black. As she went down Tom set the baby in the biobed, Chakotay woke from his daze and caught her limp body before she could hit the ground. The Doctor hurried to her side.

Chakotay set her down on a biobed, placed his hands around one of hers, and looked to the doctor. The Doctor had followed Kathryn in and had been scanning the baby as Tom held her. Now, he reached for his medical tricorder to complete the scan he had attempted as Kathryn walked to sickbay.

As Tom came to stand on Kathryn's right side he placed his left hand on her shoulder and his right hand in hers. "Kathryn. Kathryn." He called as he shook her lightly. Chakotay, who had been trying to make sense of it all, suddenly spoke. "Get your hands off of my wife, Tom." Chakotay's voice rumbled, it was a low and feral sound, which could only be described as a growl.

XXXXX

B'Elanna sat with Harry, Samantha Wildman, and strangely enough Kes, in Sandrine's. Kes never came to Sandrine's, but since she was seeing Harry she went where he did. B'Elanna was thinking about Tom and Chakotay and the Captain; three people she had become very close to.

"Any news on the Captain and the baby?" B'Elanna asked the group in general. Kes was the only one with any answers.

"I think the baby's surgery went well and even though she'll need to be monitored for several days I think she's out of danger." As a look of relief passed through those at the table Kes felt pleased to have delivered good news.

"What about the Captain, how was she after she fired the photon torpedo?" Pressed B'Elanna. Harry listened intently hoping for good news.

"I don't know, I left sickbay after the baby's surgery was determined to have been successful. The Doctor was back on ship and was heading to sickbay with the Captain." Kes informed the table.

"Wait." B'Elanna needed clarification. "The surgery was complete before the photon torpedo was fired?"

"Yes, just barely, but, yes." Kes sipped on her talaxian berry juice.

"Chakotay was on the bridge. Kathryn was in the torpedo tube. Harry didn't you say the donor had to be a parent." B'Elanna was confused.

"Yes, I was on the bridge when Tom told the Captain that it had to be her or Chakotay. The donor had to be a parent." Harry confirmed B'Elannas statement.

"Who donated the bone marrow, Kes?" B'Elanna enquired.

"Tom did. He was going to stay in sickbay for a couple of hours, but I'm sure he'll be out of there soon. There weren't any complications." Kes informed them.

B'Elanna sat there shocked for a moment while her mind processed the information. Then suddenly she jumped up and shouted, "I'll kill them! I'll kill them BOTH!" She hurriedly exited the holodeck and furiously paced the corridors finally ending up in her own quarters. Kes realized her mistake, she had violated patient confidentiality, but she couldn't correct it now.

XXXXX

Tom ignored Chakotay's warning growl and faced the Doctor. "What is it Doctor?"

The Doctor completed the scan and replied. "Well, it seems that in the last 36 hours she's been shot with sometime of weapon that almost killed her, she underwent a primitive cesarean section, which cut through skin, muscle, nerves and her uterus, which is an organ, had a baby, underwent surgery to remove the damage the weapon caused her body in the first place, underwent a regenerative surgery for her bone marrow, and was hit and injured by the blowback of a photon torpedo, causing burns to her face neck and shoulder, as well as some muscle injuries and a slight concussion. Her bone marrow still isn't working to full capacity and her blood tests are still showing some abnormalities."

"What does that mean Doctor?" This time Chakotay asked.

"It means I'm going to repair the burns to her face and order her to rest for the next three weeks to give her body a chance to recover. She must be in quite a bit of pain." He sighed. "It seems the Captain, and her first officer, have been reading too many 20th century super hero comics. Just because the crew calls you the Command Duo doesn't mean you're invincible." Chided the Doctor.

"But she'll be ok?" Chakotay needed reassurance. A soft cry was heard in the background.

"Yes, I believe she will. And I believe this little one…" he walked over to the baby. "is getting hungry. We need to wake the Captain. If she's going to breastfeed she needs to start immediately, she's already been away from the baby for more than a day."

Waking her was unnecessary, however, at the sounds of the baby's cries Kathryn began to stir. Tom walked over to the baby and picked her up. Chakotay watched as he sat patiently waiting for Kathryn to become fully aware of her surroundings. She met Tom's eyes with her own and asked, "Is it true, Tom?"

Tom handed her the baby and said, "Your daughter is hungry Kathryn, you need to feed her." She struggled with her uniform jacket as she held the baby. Tom took the baby back and handing her to Chakotay said, "Here Commander, would you hold your daughter for a moment." He took the baby but his eyes were fixed on Tom and Kathryn. Tom helped Kathryn out of her jacket and he took her turtleneck from her once she took it off. He placed them on a nearby chair, folded neatly. When she was down to her tank he told Chakotay to hand her the baby and turned his back, to give her privacy as she positioned the baby to nurse for the very first time.

Chakotay stared in amazement as the baby latched on and splayed one little hand possessively at the top of Kathryn's breast. Kathryn's tears began to fall as she studied her daughter for the very first time.

"You can turn around now, Tom. Everything's covered." She said. She ran her hand over the baby's head and slid off her cap. A tuft of dark red-brown hair stood straight up. Kathryn let out a small chuckle, "Looks like her Daddy's hair but with a little Janeway flare." Chakotay let out a sigh of relief as he noted the baby's dark hair and golden skin, still shades lighter than his own but definitely darker than Kathryn's and definitely darker than Tom's, too. Kathryn's chuckle died down as Tom said, "You mean Paris flare, don't you Kathryn."

XXXXX

Julia Harper's jealousy got the better of her and as she passed Tal in the mess hall she remarked, "You didn't have enough with one, huh, Celes."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tal could feel her face flush.

"Well now you've got both Daniel and Billy here fawning over you." Julia's voice was sharp and bitter.

"Julia, I don't know what your problem is but Tal and I are just friends. I don't know what her relationship with Billy is because it's none of my business, but I do know that you've got no right to speak to her that way!" Jarvis was angrier than Julia had ever seen him and it shocked her a little that he would speak to her that way. After all she was used to him chasing after her and trying to win her over.

Julia backed away in shock as the entire mess hall turned to watch the scene. "We're supposed to be friends Tal." She accused.

"We are friends Julia, but that doesn't mean I can't be Daniel's friend, or Billy's friend. You shouldn't take it out on me when Freddy avoids you. Maybe you're just trying too hard. Back off and let the guy be! Why don't you go cool off we can talk about this later."

"Come on Harper, I'll take a walk with you, Billy offered." He stood and went to walk her out of the mess hall.

Julia's face turned scarlet and she turned to walk out with Billy as an escort just as two security officers walked in. Someone had obviously called them, there would be a report. Damn!

"Don't worry gentlemen, I'm already being escorted out. No one was hurt." She snapped, then as she entered the corridor she mumbled, "just my pride."

XXXXX

"Is it true?" Kathryn looked at Tom and after he nodded she spoke again. "Phoebe's hair was dark like Mom's. Even Dad's hair was darker than mine. Dad called me Goldenbird because of my hair." She paused and continued. "I didn't think Owen even knew who I was until I asked him to be my junior thesis advisor. I knew he knew my father, and he mentioned him in our first meeting, but I never would have thought he knew anything else about me. Then you told the story about how he didn't like Cheb. I was in high school then; not even in Starfleet Academy yet. Was he keeping track of me all my life, Tom?"

"Yes, I think he was. I heard stories about you from him as far back as I can remember." Tom was still a bit emotional. His father had lied to them, held Tom to impossible standards while he had kept this enormous secret. He was obviously far from perfect.

Gazing down at her daughter and softly rubbing her head she said, "I guess it's not Janeway flare you've got, baby girl. It's Paris flare." At this Tom laughed and Chakotay cringed.

"Oh, yes!" Tom grinned from ear to ear after a moment. "And you're in trouble now, Katie, because she and Uncle Tommy are going to be running this place!" He laughed briefly, then encountering her glare he corrected. "Uh, ok, sorry, you're running the ship Sis, Spitfire and I will run the holodecks."

"Tom, I'm sure you'll make a fabulous Uncle, and I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunities to baby sit and get into trouble with her, but please don't call me Sis in front of the crew and don't call her Spitfire. I'd rather not take my daughter to visit her Uncle in the brig." She smirked at him.

"But Spitfire is so perfect; I'm going to teach her to fly and if she has your temper…" Tom decided he'd better shut his mouth before he really ended up in the brig.

"I'm still a little confused, Kathryn. What just happened here?" Chakotay asked suddenly.

"Tom saved our daughter's life, Chakotay." She answered looking gratefully at Tom.

"Kes did the surgery. She assisted the doctor with your surgery, so she had an idea what to do. We read up on how to perform the transplant together. Then we scanned the records and realized I'd be the donor. I just donated the bone marrow, she did all the work." Tom explained.

The Doctor had been looking over the data, their medical records, their files, and the notes from the surgery. "It seems that the Captain and Mr. Paris share a considerable amount of DNA. Kes and Mr. Paris apparently discovered this and went forward using Tom's DNA since neither you, nor the Captain, were available."

"It looks like Tom is your brother-in-law, Chakotay." She said the last part with a grin knowing he'd grimace at the thought.

Chakotay let it all sink in. He had sat around like a big dummy watching it all unfold, but he had been afraid of his own reaction, remembering how his anger had backfired on him before. Hewas glad that he hadn't done anything rash, with the exception of demanding that Tom unhand his wife. Tom had now saved his daughter twice; the thought really bothered him, but at least at this point he knew Tom was family.

"When we get back to the Alpha Quadrant," Kathryn glanced over at Tom, "Owen Paris and Gretchen Janeway have a lot of explaining to do."

Meanwhile B'Elanna was pacing furiously imagining all sorts of fun ways to kill her fiancé and her Captain.


	33. Chapter 33

**I've returned from a wonderful vacation. Thanks to those who wished me a good vacation and those who read, reviewed, and stuck by my story. **

* * *

Kathryn looked around the now crowded sickbay and wondered what the hell was happening on her ship. The crewmen currently occupying sickbay had injuries that ranged from black eyes, broken noses, split lips, and other injuries she would expect to find after a bar brawl. Tuvok had left three security officers in sick bay in order to "maintain the peace". When she demanded an explainations he answered, " I am still trying to ascertain the reason for the… altercation, Captain." After all by the time Tuvok arrived the situation in the mess hall _had_ looked like a bar brawl.

Tom, who was once again laying in a biobed next to Kathryn, spoke up. "I think I know how is started, Captain, I'm just not sure why." B'Elanna, who herself was sitting on a biobed surrounded by a force field and guarded by a security officer designated specifically to her, let out what sounded like a disgusted growl. Tom glanced at her but recounted the tale of the mess hall brawl, at least the part he had witnessed, as best as he could.

It was late when the Doctor released Tom from sickbay after the bone marrow transplant to little spitfire; Tom still referred to her this way despite the Janeway death glare as she had not yet been named. He went to his quarters to rest, as he had Alpha shift the next day. Still tired and sluggish, after the transplant he slept in a little too long and had to forgo his breakfast with B'Elanna. It seemed like forever since he'd seen B'Elannna and he was anxious to meet her in the mess hall for lunch. As he entered the mess hall he noticed her sitting with Tal, Kes, and Harry.

As Tom approached, smiling and happy to see B'Elanna, she stood and punched him square on the nose. Not expecting that kind of greeting, Tom fell back into Julia Harper who was walking by with Billy Telfer, who promptly caught Julia and shoved Tom forward and into Tal and Kes. At that point all hell broke loose and suddenly, Neelix, Harry, Jarvis, Kaplan, and Henly were involved, too, all trying to defend or support someone or more than one someone. At some point the Delanys and even Bristow got involved. All the while, Tom was trying to evade B'Elanna's blows all the while trying to defend her from the blows of others, still not understanding why she suddenly was acting like she wanted to kill him. Then security arrived and people were being restrained and escorted to the brig or sickbay.

"So where are Megan Delany, Henly, and Neelix?" asked the Captain.

"They are in the brig, they weren't injured." Answered Ayala who was assigned to ensure that the brawl didn't continue in sickbay.

"So this began with B'Elanna." With these words the Captain tried to swing her legs around and stand up, intending to walk over to B'Elanna, but the pain and stiffness she felt through her entire body was just too much. She remained sitting, and with some difficulty at that. "Doctor, can you give me something to help with the stiff and sore muscles?"

"No, Captain." Stated the Doctor defiantly.

"What?" The Captain answered in disbelief

"I said, No, Captain. I've given you a mild pain reliever, but sometimes pain is a way for the body to set limits on what one should not be doing after physical trauma. I have found that if I take that pain and stiffness away you act in a way that is detrimental to your recovery. So, I'm sorry Captain, you'll need to take it easy, walk slowly, and the pain and stiffness should be somewhat bearable. That should prevent you from running around like you're Wonder Girl, or Super Captain, Mrs. Universe, or whatever Mister Paris' female super hero was called, and maybe you'll think twice before manually firing anymore torpedoes from the tube in your condition." The doctor stated with a self-satisfied tone. Kathryn graced him with a deadly glare, but the hologram just turned away and kept working on one of many patients still waiting for treatment.

Meanwhile B'Elanna paced angrily at the furthest end of the biobed, muttering insults in every language she knew, occasionally glancing over at Tom or Kathryn. The Captain, watched her from across sickbay, she knew B'Elanna was furious. She was in a state Kathryn had never seen her in before. She hadn't yet allowed the Doctor near her to repair the gash in her cheek or what appeared to be a broken finger on her left hand. Kathryn didn't want to approach the angry Klingon while she was so obviously physically limited even though she was desperate to get to the bottom of whatever it was that had wreaked havoc on her ship.

"Tommy, why is she so angry at you? Think; you must have done _something_."

"I don't know Katie. I haven't spoken to her since… well since… before I found Spitfire in that hospital on Earth."

"_Katie?_" Other crewmember's noticed the exchange and tried to listen in without being obvious.

"Sorry… well… we're off duty and, well, that's what Dad calls you… and you did say not to call you Sis… Um, _Captain_, I know this is all new but I don't want to call my sister "Captain" off duty, so it's sis or Katie." He suddenly looked down as if a shameful realization had come over him. "Unless… if you don't want me… if you're ashamed to be related…" Tom never finished, Kathryn struggled off of her biobed and took the few steps necessary to reach Tom. She put her arms around him in an embrace that he quickly reciprocated.

"I couldn't imagine having a better brother, Tommy, or a better uncle for my daughter, whom I know you already love. Don't ever feel that you aren't worthy of family. Katie, it is." Kathryn hugged her brother tightly wondering exactly how badly Owen Paris had damaged him.

Across the room, however, an angry Klingon only caught the words "Tommy, Katie, Captain, off duty love and family". And of course she saw the hug. She removed one of her replicated Starfleet issue boots and threw it towards the two hugging people, even knowing the force field around her would stop it. As the force field hissed and the boot dropped to the ground the doors to sickbay opened allowing entry to none other than Commander Chakotay. For a split second she thought that maybe the Commander would find them embracing and re-brake Tom's nose, but her hopes were dashed when he met them with a hug to each and all she could think was "_What the hell is going on around here!"_


	34. Chapter 34

**AN: I know I mentioned it a while back but just a reminder, in this story Threshold never happened.**

Chakotay strode towards sickbay, with cool and controlled steps, at the end of his shift. His outward appearance revealed no clues as to the inner worry and frustration that was increasing by the second. The senior staff, with the exception of Tuvok, was at lunch when security was called to the mess hall. None had returned. With the bridge run by a skeleton crew of inexperienced crewmen, he'd felt obligated to remain there. He'd received updates from Tuvok, but none had very much detail. All he knew was that there had been an altercation, several crew members were in sickbay and a few were in the brig. While the state of the ship worried him greatly, of equal or greater concern would be his Captain's reaction to the affray. Being in sickbay she probably knew more about what was going on than he did.

As Chakotay walked into sickbay he immediately noticed the presence of the security team keeping order in the, now full to capacity, room. He groaned inwardly and turned to head toward Kathryn. She was standing in front of Tom's biobed hugging him. This time his sigh was quite audible, he would just have to get used to the idea that they were siblings. Kathryn noticed Chakotay's approach and greeted him with a hug. He turned to greet Tom and was momentarily stunned by his watery eyes not to mention the bloody broken nose, at which time Tom, feeling emotional as he was, decided to hug his commanding officer. Chakotay returned the hug awkwardly.

"What the hell happened here Paris?" Chakotay demanded.

"I'm not sure, sir. B'Elanna broke my nose and fractured a couple of the metatarsals in my left foot." Tom explained.

"Your what?!"

"She broke my foot; she stomped on it. When she broke my nose I landed on Harper who was with Telfer, he pushed me off of her and into Kes and Tal, then Neelix pulled Kes away, Harry went running toward them, he never made it he tripped in the middle of the scuffle and started swinging with the rest of them. Telfer was helping Celes up then Harper was fighting with Celes then B'Elanna stomped on my foot and I didn't see how everyone else got involved. I was just trying to keep B'E safe and avoid her left hook; I didn't want a broken jaw, too."

Chakotay looked around for B'Elanna and noticed her angry stare aimed right at them. "Have you tried to talk to her? She can't hurt you when she's behind the force field you know?" Chakotay teased Tom.

"I know. Broken foot, remember? Doc hasn't gotten to me yet and he won't give the Captain anything for the pain and the stiff muscles; says he doesn't want her running off and firing any more torpedoes in her condition."

Chakotay looked around and noticed the Doctor and Kes working on patients.

"Doc, you think you could get to Mister Paris soon? And get the Captain something for the pain." Chakotay thought he'd help Tom and Kathryn out.

"This is a triage, Commander, it is more efficient if I treat the most serious injuries first! And the Captain doesn't need anything for the pain, what she needs is to take a slow walk around the deck to help her recover. I think you should take her on one now." spewed the self-righteous hologram. Kathryn threw up her hands and reluctantly agreed to go on a walk.

"Yes, Doc, I will." answered Chakotay, "However, about Mister Paris, wouldn't it be most _efficient_ if you treated your medic first? Then you could have his assistance in treating others. That is so long as there aren't any life threatening injuries that will become fatal in the time it takes to treat Mister Paris."

"Oh. Why… yes I suppose you're right." The Doctor admitted. "Ok, you're next Mister Paris."

Chakotay retrieved some sweatpants and a t-shirt for Kathryn from their room. He was sure she wouldn't want to walk around the corridors in a medical gown. When he returned the Doctor was working on Tom's injuries.

While Kathryn went to go change rather slowly and stiffly, Chakotay took the opportunity to try and speak to their Chief Engineer.

"B'Elanna what's going on? Do you realize what you've caused?"

B'Elanna took a moment to study Chakotay and came to the conclusion that the poor man had absolutely no clue what was going on. She wasn't sure she wanted to be the one to break the news to him.

"He's a pig, a jerk, a PetaQ. I should have torn his arm off and beaten him with it." She snarled.

"That's enough! Your domestic issues set off a brawl in the mess hall, B'Elanna. Not Sandrines, not some bar on shore leave, the _mess hall_! These people were all friends this morning, now they're beating on each other and you started this whole thing. Don't you think personal issues are best dealt with behind closed doors?" Chakotay snapped back.

"Oh, ok next time I'll call him into my quarters before I beat the jackass up." She raised her voice so that Tom could hear the last part clearly.

"What is wrong with you? What the hell did Tom do that has you so angry?"

She paced a little for a moment then leaned against the biobed and bit her thumbnail with a pensive look, as if she was trying to decide what to say and how to say it. Looking down at her feet she mumbled, "I have reason to believe that he was sleeping with someone else when we first started dating, or around the time he was trying to get me to go out with him."

"What?" He said somewhat incredulously. She repeated her last statement.

"B'Elanna, you knew how Tom was. Now if he's cheated on you that's one thing, but you can't be angry at him for something he did before you agreed to go out with him."

"No, I know, but there's more to it. Let's just say, he still seems close to this person and I don't know if I trust them now."

"There's no excuse for what you did in the mess hall, and as for your trust in him; your engagement party is next week, how did you get this far in a relationship with someone you don't trust?" He paused a moment and thought. "Look, B'Elanna, jealousy almost cost me my relationship with Kathryn, and more than that, my family, my child. If you love Tom you need to talk to him openly. Don't allow yourself a knee-jerk reaction like I did. You love each other as much as Kathryn and I do. Talk to him, clarify things." Chakotay sounded a bit like a counselor and he knew it.

B'Elanna bit her lip thinking _Oh, Chakotay, if you only knew. _"Ok, Chakotay you're right, I'll talk to him."

Kathryn, who had by now changed, walked up next to Chakotay. "So are you two going to tell me what is going on? Why is my mess hall in shambles and my sickbay filled to capacity?"

B'Elanna turned away slightly, then, not wanting Chakotay to see her anger toward Kathryn, she looked down and studied the sock on her one unbooted foot. She remained quiet. It was Chakotay who filled Kathryn in on B'Elanna's suspicions. Unlike Chakotay, Kathryn caught on quickly. In fact she sometimes thought that her pregnancy had helped bring Tom and B'Elanna together. They both spent quite a bit of time with her and with each other during the early stages of the pregnancy and she didn't remember Tom being seen with any other women at that time so she quickly surmised what B'Elanna's suspicions were.

"Chakotay, will you bring the baby? I want her to meet her Auntie B'Elanna."

"Kathryn, don't you think that we should wait until punishment has been decided for B'Elanna? Afterall, she's being held behind a force field right now, and maybe this isn't the best time…"

Kathryn held her hand up to stop Chakotay's words. "I think it's a perfect time after all if Tom and B'Elanna are going to be her godparents then B'Elanna should start bonding with her. Don't you think?"

Chakotay begrudgingly walked away and towards the premature baby's biobed.

"You know you're wrong B'Elanna. Tom wasn't seeing anyone else." As Kathryn spoke B'Elanna flashed her an angry glance but Kathryn continued. "I remember when he took the medical tricorder from sickbay; he said he didn't replicate one because he needed his rations for a special dinner. Oh sure, he played it off as if it could be any woman on the ship, but I knew he was desperately trying to get you to go out with him. Trust me B'Elanna, his only interest at that time was you, and it has been that way ever since."

B'Elanna let out an angry, "Ha." Then said, "What about before, Captain, let's say a few weeks before that? Maybe six to eight weeks before that? You know right around the time you came back from that planet, before we went after Seska's kid."

Chakotay walked up with the baby and Kathryn took her from him. "Lower the force field." She ordered.

B'Elanna gave a start as if she might consider going after Kathryn but her eyes came to focus on the baby and she simply muttered, "Coward." Instead.

"Oh, B'Elanna," said Kathryn shaking her head. "Don't you want to meet your goddaughter?" She deliberatly slipped the cap off of the baby's head as she spoke. Tufts of dark red hair came to stand in a small peak at the top of the baby's head. "Tom says she has a mohawk, whatever that means." B'Elanna glanced over at the baby; still angry and thinking that Kathryn was using her as a shield. "You know what something B'Elanna? The title of Auntie B'Elanna and Uncle Tommy, isn't honorary, it's the real deal. Tom really is her Uncle." She gave B'Elanna a moment to digest the information. After a moment B'Elanna looked up at her quizzically.

"What do you mean he really is her uncle?"

Kathryn stepped closer to B'Elanna. "It seems Tom and I are related. Our DNA implies that we are half siblings and the best we can gather is that Owen Paris is my biological father."

B'Elanna took another look at the baby and noted her dark hair and the baby's complexion; darker than both Kathryn and Tom but not as dark as Chakotay. She blinked as the full impact of the Captain's words hit her. "Oh Kahlass, Kathryn… I thought… Oh God… I'm so sorry I thought…"

"I know what you thought. Right now I think you owe your fiancé an apology and you owe me and Neelix and month's worth of double shifts in the mess hall. Engineering duties and emergencies come first but barring that, a few hours in the mess hall will help you remember not to punch first and ask questions later."

B'Elanna hung her head in shame. Kathryn was her friend, Tom her fiancé, they had both put so much of their trust in her and now she felt awful.

"Yes, Captain."

"Now would you like to hold your goddaughter?"

At this B'Elanna smiled and said, "Really even after I… Yes, of course I want to hold her."

Kathryn ordered the guard to keep the force field down and asked B'Elanna to take the baby back to the infant biobed, which was conveniently close to Tom. Kathryn smiled up at a stunned Chakotay and said, "You can take me on my walk now."


	35. Chapter 35

Chakotay was well aware of the fact that he should have known better. When Kathryn agreed to go on the Doctor's suggested walk he should have known she was up to more than a walk. The slow and tortured walk had lead them to the brig; she had lead them to the brig. She pushed her aching body along the corridors and to the turbo lift attempting to hide her discomfort and stiff movements, ignoring Chakotay's suggestions of returning to sickbay. She arrived in time to listen to the last of Tuvok's interrogations of the three incarcerated crewmen. Chakotay and Tuvok both momentarily considered that maybe the Doctor was right; she did seem to think she was an indestructible super hero.

After being briefed as to the contents of the three versions of the "mess hall incident" she and Tuvok agreed that Neelix, having never thrown a blow of any kind, could go free. The rest of the crew members involved would be required to report to the mess hall as soon as any injuries they sustained were treated.

Kathryn was noticeably fatigued by the return trip to sickbay and reluctantly agreed to Chakotay's supportive hold on her. By the time they reached sickbay the aches in her body, most notably in her abdomen, were almost unbearable. Chakotay noticing her obvious struggle picked her up and carried her the last few feet across sickbay to her biobed where she refused to lay back. She took a moment to compose herself before demanding the attention of all those who currently occupied sickbay. She informed her security team that they were to take all those involved in the "mess hall incident" back to the mess hall after treatments were complete. Tuvok would be waiting there with details on their punishment. She also informed B'Elanna that any punishment Tuvok felt necessary to enforce would be in addition to the month of mess hall shifts she had already ordered.

Three hours later Kathryn was resting in a relatively quiet sickbay, nursing her daughter. Chakotay watched his two girls in amazement and with a loving smile.

"What is it Chakotay?"

"It's just so amazing. You're all she needs right now; you give her everything, comfort, warmth, nutrition; you're bonding with her in a way I never could. It's wonderful but I must admit I'm a little jealous." Whispered Chakotay.

"You do realize this hurts, right? The Doctor says the pain will go away after a couple of days but as of right now it is painful for me when I nurse her. As for bonding you can bond with her, hold her, talk to her, you can even feed her. I can pump some milk and you can feed her from a bottle. She may as well get used to it now; when I go back on duty she'll have to drink from a bottle anyway." Kathryn said in a matter of fact manner.

"I thought breastfeeding was best for her, especially since she was premature! Isn't that what the Doc said? Tuvok and I can handle things for a while, Kathryn. I think you should consider taking leave until she's stronger. Stay home and nurse her." In Chakotay's mind he was just trying to look after his girls. Kathryn looked at him as if he had just suggested she let the Vadillans take Voyager for a spin. In Kathryn's mind, well, he was out of his mind; she just wasn't stay at home mom material. She loved her daughter and wanted to do everything she could for her, but she wasn't about to lose herself either.

"Working mothers have been pumping breast milk to leave with their infants since the 20th century. There is even evidence to suggest that women may have done it even further back in history. The Doctor said I need to take three weeks off to recover, let's see how long he wants to keep the baby. Her body may take longer to regulate itself after the transplant considering the fact that she is so small. I'll stay home with her as long as he says it is necessary, but don't expect me to spend the next 6 months or more in our quarters. It just isn't going to happen." There was no way Kathryn Janeway could sit still that long. She needed to work. Chakotay agreed to her terms and changed the subject, knowing that pushing the issue would only cause a fight.

"So how do you think the mess hall brawlers are taking their punishment?" He asked lightheartedly.

"I think they should be pleased to avoid brig time, and we should see a very clean ship in the near future." She, along with Chakotay and Tuvok had agreed that all parties involved would have to repair, repaint, and redecorate the mess hall, lose a month of holodeck time, with the exception of public use time, lose three weeks of replicator rations and spend one month of double shifts with the second shift being maintenance, repair, and custodial duties with most efforts concentrated on cleaning and custodial duties of the most unpleasant kind. B'Elanna, being the instigator of said incident, would of course have to pull her doubles in the mess hall first before being allowed to complete her scrubbing duties.

"There's just one thing, Kathryn. What about the naming ceremony for the baby and Tom and B'Elanna's engagement party? We can't expect them to miss those events."

"No. I suppose we can't, they can have those two days off of doubles, and Tom and B'Elanna can have the day after their engagement party as well. Adjust the duty rosters please, Chakotay."

"Of course my love."

XXXXXX

B'Elanna walked over to return the infant to her tiny biobed. She would be only a foot or two away from Tom. She steeled herself for what was to come. B'Elanna knew she had to apologize, but humbling herself just didn't come easy to her. As she settled her goddaughter down she couldn't help but feel Tom's eyes on her. She felt so ridiculous for having thought he could have anything to do with the Captain, but what was she supposed to think when she didn't have all the facts. She was ashamed of herself and that brought an embarrassed flush onto her face. Not being good at dealing with her feelings she lashed out in anger.

"What are you staring at Tom?" She snapped.

"The love of my life; awoman who for some reason has been very angry with me but hasn't told me why. I know I screw up a lot B'Elanna, but if you tell me what I did I'll do my best to never do it again." Tom responded honestly. The guilt threatened to overwhelm her. Here was a man who had done _nothing_ wrong but was assuming he had. He obviously believed that he was a screw up, just as his father had always told him. It wasn't true, however, it was she, B'Elanna, who had made the unpardonable error in judgment this time and the realization of how badly she had contributed to his hurt cut into her like a dull blade.

"You didn't do anything wrong Tom, your jackass self-righteous father did, and I did too. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve any of this." B'Elanna hated to admit she was wrong.

"What do you mean?"

"I heard you were the donor for the baby, I also heard that the donor had to be a parent. I never thought you and Janeway could be related. I thought that you and the Captain…" She couldn't finish but she knew he understood.

Tom stared at her for a moment before he started to laugh. "Oh B'Elanna, even before I knew she was my sister she kind of felt like a sister or an aunt or some kind of family type figure to me. I don't know if we're programed to recognize family but I couldn't ever… Oh God No! I couldn't think of her that way, ever, and now that I know, it makes sense. Maybe that's why she's always been protective of me and given me the chances no one else would give me."

"I don't think that's it, Tom, I mean about the chances. Your father obviously didn't give you the opportunities to prove yourself that the Captain gave you. I think she's just a pretty amazing person, after all she made me chief engineer and I'm not related to her. She's given us both opportunities no one else would have. Your sister is pretty amazing fly boy." She finished up with a grin.

"She is isn't she?" He responded "Now I think you owe me some comfort for these broken bones you gave me." He smiled as he pulled her into his arms. She lowered her head to kiss him and just as their lips were about to meet the Doctor cut in.

"Ok, I'm ready for you now Mister Paris. Unless you'd prefer for me to come back after I'm done with all my other patients."

"No, Doc that won't be necessary. You can start." Paris responded as B'Elanna moved back away from him. Then turning to B'Elanna he said "We'll make up later tonight, my quarters."

"Great…" mumbled the Doctor, "so you'll be back here with more bones to be mended before the start of alpha shift tomorrow morning."

XXXXX

The Doctor insisted that the four pound Baby Janeway remain in sickbay for at least two weeks and suggested her mother keep her home and away from any undue excitement or germ contaminated child care centers, as if Voyager had more than one, for at least three months. This suggestion had more to do with the bone marrow transplant than the fact that the baby was premature. Captain Janeway negotiated him down to six weeks. She had successfully argued that considering that the child care center currently only had one other child the baby was safer in the child center then she was in the mess hall or on the bridge. The Doctor looked appalled at the suggestion of taking the preemie out into the mess hall. Kathryn quickly reminded him that sickbay had recently been inundated with the entire crown of mess hall brawl participants and, again, the baby would have been exposed to fewer germs in the child care center. The Doctor gave her an annoyed, "hurumph!" and reluctantly agreed to Kathryn's six week suggestion. When Chakotay came by for a visit after his shift it simply seemed that Kathryn was going to willingly follow the Doctor's orders of keeping the infant home for six weeks.

Two days later Kathryn was able to return to her quarters making the necessary trips to sickbay to visit with and feed her daughter. As much time as she spent in sickbay she almost felt as if she hadn't been released at all. Thankfully the Doctor suggested that she provide him with the necessary bottles of breast milk to feed the infant overnight himself, and that way Kathryn could get a full night's sleep, at least until they took the baby home.

Two days after the Doctor released the Captain, she and Chakotay convinced him to allow the baby out of sick bay for a few hours in order to perform a naming ceremony. He began to object but stopped once he was assured that he would be one of the few invited to witness the ceremony, and he would be able to monitor her at all times.

The ceremony was simple. Chakotay spoke the words which asked the spirits of his ancestors, and of his father in particular, to watch over and guide his child who would be known as Xochitl Ciaran Janeway, as B'Elanna held the baby and Tom held B'Elanna. "We name you Xochitl, which means flower, the name originated from the Native American Aztec language but spread throughout the American continents to be used by other tribes and other peoples as well. We name you Ciaran, which means dark haired beauty; this name comes from the Irish language. In this way we honor both of her parent's cultures. Lastly she will have the surname Janeway, in honor of the man who loved, raised, and educated her mother. So friends and family I present to you Xochitl Ciaran Janeway. B'Elanna held Xochilt up for a moment then the child was passed around through the small crowd of those who were closest to the command duo. She was quickly given the nickname Xoe (pronounced the same as Zoe) by most of the crew, but Tom would hold fast to the name Spitfire and it would eventually win out over the other.


	36. Chapter 36

The mood on _Voyager _was a festive one. Tom and B'Elanna's engagement party was one day away, Xoe was showing remarkable gains, and while the Captain wasn't ready to engage in Tuvok's hand-to-hand combat training exercises, she was mostly back to her old self.

Many of the crew members were now in relationships, and despite the double shifts caused by the "mess hall incident" most people seemed happy. Harper had let go of her ill-fated obsession with Bristow and began to notice how kind Telfer was being to her. Billy Telfer had decided to face his hypochondria and germ phobia by clean out the storage bays and all their accumulated grime in order to be able to serve his double shifts with Harper. Jarvis and Tal Celes deepened their friendship, and while they still weren't romantically involved, they were the favorite for 'next couple to announce a relationship' on Tom's betting pool. Harry and Kes were finally talking about marriage despite being the favorites for 'next break up' on Tom's same betting pool. Ensigns Kaplan and Bristow had attended a dance together, or rather the last hour of the dance, given that their double shifts were putting a real hamper on their social life. Despite the double-shifts, however, people really seemed to be working out their personal issues and there was an unmistakable feeling of hope for the future.

Kes was in her quarters lovingly caring for her plants. Even with all the time she spent in the hydroponics bay she still needed to have the beauty and life of these plants filling her own personal space. She was pruning a small flowering plant, thinking of how wonderful it's scent was when the Doctor summoned her to sickbay announcing that they may soon have incoming casualties. Kes never went to sick bay.

As Kes exited her quarters she experienced a vision, she watched herself kill Ensign Martin and an alien she'd never seen before. In some strange way she felt she was driven by a hate that she had never in her life experienced. She urgently opened up her vision to share it with the Captain in the hopes that together they could prevent these atrocities from occurring. She and the Captain arrived on the bridge at virtually the same time.

"…their warp core could breach at any moment." The caught the tail end of B'Elanna's statement.

"Can we beam them out through all that radiation?" Commander Chakotay was asking Harry as the image of a damaged ship filled the viewscreen.

"Not at this range, we'd have to get to within 5,000 km to beam out the survivors." Answered Harry.

"At that range we'll be at risk when their warp core explodes." Tuvok stated.

"Lieutenant, take us into range." Commander Chakotay ordered, fully intending to rescue the aliens who's life signs they had detected.

"No! Belay that order Lieutenan. Back us out of here Tom!" Demanded the Captain.

Chaktotay turned sharply in the Captain's seat to stare at his wife who stood with Kes, both mesmerized by the image on the screen.

"There is evil on that ship, Captain." Said Kes.

"I know, and I don't intend to bring in onto my ship." Kathryn responded.

"Captain, with all due respect, I'm in charge today, and those people will die if we don't act immediately." Insisted Chakotay.

"No! If we do we'll lose one of our own, murdered, and he'll take Kes and kill several others as well." Then turning to Tom. "Pull us away Lieutenant Paris."

"Kathryn what are you talking about?" said a confused Chakotay. "Tom, continue with my order's the Captain is on medical leave and isn't in charge at this time."

"Uhh… no offense Chakotay but…" started Tom to fumble, he certainly didn't want to be in the middle of this argument but if push came to shove his loyalty would always be with Kathryn.

"Fine! Move Tom I'll do it…" but it was too late the alien ship's warp core breached and it blew into a magnificent ball of orange and yellow flames , leaving no survivors.

"Kathryn, READY ROOM, NOW!" Screamed Chakotay.

Kathryn straightened herself up and squared her shoulders as she went to smooth the bottom of her uniform jacket as was her habit when she needed to collect her Captain's composure, only to find that she looked rather uncaptain like in her comfortably casual post-maternity dress. She held her head up anyway and marched her no nonsense self right into the ready room behind Chakotay.

As the doors shut behind them Chakotay turned to her and through clenched teeth growled, "How dare you undermine me in front of our senior officers. When you are in charge I will question you in private, I do not openly defy you in front of our crew! Today I am in charge and I think you need to give me the same respect, Kathryn!"

"To understand this Chakotay you need to understand that Kes' abilities are greater that we could have ever imagined. She hasn't yet learned to control or use them all but she's aware that they can be quite danger…"Chakotay cut her off.

"What does this have to do with anything, Kathryn? You made me look like a fool, how are they going to respect me when you don't!"

"You have to hear me out or we won't get anywhere, Chakotay."

"Fine, Kes has powers, so what?"

"Her powers can be dangerous; in fact we've decided that she should practice the skills she's developing but go no further with new ones while on this ship. When we come across an uninhabited planet she can explore her powers more fully, away from others. One of the things she has developed are premonitions. I know, I never would have believed it myself if I wasn't linked to her. We've tested them out and they come true if we don't change our planned actions, but we _can_ change them if we change our actions. Chakotay, she had a vision, if we'd brought Tieran on board he would have taken over Kes' body, killed Ensign Martin, murdered an alien representative on board and killed several others on the surface of his planet, all while in Kes' body."

Chakotay scratched his head and looked as if she'd just asked him to believe that Santa Claus was running sickbay.

Kathryn continued, "You'll get the same story from Kes. You can even ask Tuvok to mind meld with either one of us, he'd know if we were lying."

"Kathryn, I don't know who this Tieran is. As for the mind meld you know I can't do that. It's absolutely against regulations to use a mind meld that way, not to mention that it's unethical and the fact remains that mind melds always have some risk involved." Chakotay turned the idea over in his mind despite his own objections to it.

"I'm not making this up, Chakotay. I didn't storm onto the bridge just to ruin my husband's day and complicate my marriage in the process." She reasoned in the hopes that he would see the truth in her words.

"No, I guess that wouldn't make any sense now would it?" Chakotay said cautiously.

"No, as a matter of fact I wouldn't even have known about that ship at all if it weren't for the vision. Think about that Chakotay. How would I have known about that ship if no one informed me? Kes shared he vision with me, that is how. I saw Ensign Martin's dead body, Chakotay. We've lost enough crewmen. As for those that are still alive, I intend to keep them that way."

"Well, Captain, we aren't all graced with Kes' abilities so we do the best we can with our human senses…" at that moment Kathryn's commbadge went off, cutting Chakotay off mid-sentence.

"Sickbay to Janeway." In the background an infant's cries could be heard.

"Go ahead, Doctor." Kathryn responded.

"It seems Xoe is upset at having to wait longer than expected to be fed; would you like me to replicate her some infant formula? I still have the codes for the one I replicated when Naomi was weaned, but you know that's not what's best for her."

"No Doctor, Xoe's mother will be there to feed her shortly. She's not one to shirk her duties or forget what her responsibilities are." Chakotay stated the last bit with noticeable anger and sarcasm. When the doctor cut the link he turned to Kathryn and said, "I'm not exactly equipped to breast feed our daughter, why don't you go do your job before our child starves, and leave me to mine while you're at it, Kathryn."

Kathryn stood there stunned for a moment. Of all the pig-headed, chauvinistic, ugly, things to say! She was still Captain of this ship whether he liked it or not. She stormed off to sickbay to feed her child, but this was not over, oh no, this was far from over.


	37. Chapter 37

Kathryn paced the VIP guest quarters going over the day's events in her head. Part of her saw Chakotay's point of view. She, herself, would have been livid if she had been contradicted in front of the crew that way, but then again, if someone presented her with new information she would have considered it and made a decision one way or another. She would not have ignored the information. What he said to her though, about breastfeeding being her job, and how she should leave him to his, his obviously being acting Captain, _that_ was what really bothered her. _Voyager _was her ship, medical leave or not!

Kathryn fed Xoe, and saw to it that the doctor had extra breast milk available for her in case the need ever arose. She realized that having enough milk to cover overnight feedings just wasn't enough there needed to be plenty in case of emergencies and unexpected events. After seeing to her daughter's welfare, and adequate food supply, Kathryn hadn't wanted to return to the quarters she shared with Chakotay yet. So there she was, pacing the empty quarters reserved for alien ambassadors, dignitaries, the occasional visiting admiral or other politically affiliated figures. _Damn! _If she'd only had time to discuss the situation with him beforehand she knew he would have understood, or at least she thought he would have. Now, however, they had let the situation get out of control and he had gone and made her feel as if her only contribution was _breast milk_! What was that old saying she had once heard about female oppression, was it _women should be home, barefoot, and pregnant_? Yes, that was the ridiculous attitude of some ancient and primitive societies, and well even some alien ones of today. But for Chakotay to even _hint _at such an attitude was unthinkable. She continued to pace, calming herself down one minute, and working herself back into anger the next.

She took herself back to _her_ ready room and entered through the corridor to avoid the bridge. She found that Chakotay had returned to the ready room himself after feeling too agitated to remain on the bridge. She apologized for undermining him and explained that she would have felt the same way he did; however, given the circumstances she just didn't have the time to discuss the situation with him. He would have saved the aliens first then taken the time to speak to her, and by then it would have been too late.

"Chakotay, I saved the lives of many this way. He was a warlord who would have used Kes' powers to kill and control others. I'm sorry for the way it had to happen, and I'm sorry that it hurt you and put you in a bad position, but I'm glad Tieran was stopped before he and his followers could hurt anyone else. And as for feeding our daughter, rest assured that from now on there will always be extra milk available so you will have all the _equipment _you need to feed her anytime the need arises. In a week's time I will no longer be on medical leave; you can stay home with Xoe just as easily as I can."

"I don't believe this! You care more about your _damn_ ship than our daughter!" exclaimed Chakotay

"No, I don't! I'm the one bonding with her and getting to know her and all her little quirks, all day, every day. Some days you don't even make it to sickbay to see her after a long shift. Do you care about being in the Captain's chair more than bonding with your daughter? And don't give me that 'I'm not equipped to feed her' crap because you know you can keep her fed on expressed milk." Kathryn had intended to smooth things over with Chakotay but it wasn't working out the way she'd planned.

He took a deep breath and said. "I'm sorry, Kathryn. I shouldn't have said those things. It's just… wasn't expecting you to show up and order me to let the passengers on that ship die, not to mention that once you walked onto the bridge and suddenly my orders no longer mattered."

"Chakotay, you've always deferred authority to me when I walk onto the bridge. It's never bothered you before. What's the real problem?"

After a quiet moment he answered, "I guess I thought of you and Xoe as being 'safe at home'. Seeing you on the bridge instead of recovering from your injuries just reminded me that we're all at risk out here. If it were you and Xoe on a doomed ship I would want someone to rescue you. I want to believe that there is still good out there, for our daughter's sake; people who will help others, even if they are strangers. Do you realize how many others saw what was happening to _my_ people and chose to do nothing? I couldn't stand by…" He left the rest unsaid.

Kathryn closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I understand," she said slowly, "however, you do realize that you were insubordinate, you were disrespectful, you screamed at the Captain in front of the bridge crew, and you _ordered_ the Captain into the ready room. I may have to put you on report for that, medical leave or not." She said seriously.

Chakotay furrowed his brows and said, "Certainly. As soon as the Captain is back in her chair I imagine she will enforce a suitable punishment."

She wasn't going to continue with an argument about whether she could punish him while on leave or not. "I'll be staying in the VIP guest quarters tonight, Chakotay, but we will talk about the comments you made to me tomorrow."

Chakotay sighed and not wanting to continue arguing either he said, "Fine. Just promise me you'll go and get some rest; some real sleep, wandering the corridors of the lower decks doesn't count."

XXXXX

Kathryn walked into the VIP quarters rubbing her own shoulders and ready for a good night's sleep. As she crossed the threshold into the room however she notice a large heart shaped bed covered in red satin sheets.

"Janeway to security intruder alert."

"No need to call for room service, Kathy, I've already ordered." Came the voice of the smug and self-absorbed Q.

Kathryn rebuffed his romantic advances reminding him that she was a married woman, and even if she was not, he still would never have a chance with her.

"Oh, come Kathy be honest. If things were going that well for you and Chuckles you wouldn't be here alone now would you? I don't want some tawdry affair Kathy, I want a family, a child, with you. Yes, Kathy, I've chosen you to be the mother of my child."

Kathryn was not impressed and after she assured Q that she would never mate with him, he assured her he would win her over eventually and finally left. She opened a comm link from the VIP quarters to the command console on the bridge and informed Chakotay of Q's visit. They were both polite, however, when Chakotay asked what Q wanted she was reluctant to tell him over the comm, especially since anyone on the bridge could overhear. She simply said that Q had made a personal request.

Q, however, had no qualms about making his intentions known, and began asking crew members how they thought he might go about winning the Captain over. Being the loyal crew that they were they all told Q to stuff it and stop bothering the Captain and Commander. To which he replied, "Oh, I've no interest in _him_. Eww. I don't know what she could possibly see in him either."

The next morning Kathryn met Chakotay in the ready room and after giving her a cool greeting he sat with her on the sofa to hear what she had to report about Q's visit. "He wants to _what_?!"

"He said he wants to mate with me. I let him know it was out of the question but he insists he'll convince me otherwise. Knowing Q, however, he must be up to something else, I just don't know what that could be."

Chakotay looked down for a moment and ran his hands through his hair. He stood and paced for a moment then grabbed Kathryn's upper arm and pulled her up and towards him, into a standing position, pressed against his chest. "I don't want him near you, Kathryn!"

"I'm not going to sleep with him, Chakotay." She tried to gently loosen herself from his grasp.

"I know you wouldn't; I trust you completely. I just don't trust Q." He released her arms and let his own arms drop to his sides.

She raised her hand to cup his face. "Oh, Chakotay, you _know_ I love _you_."

"What is it you see in this oaf?" interrupted Q, appearing suddenly beside them.

Kathryn released an exasperated sigh and walked out of the ready room. Chakotay stared angrily at Q for a moment then followed Kathryn out onto the bridge.

In a flash Q disappeared and reappeared on the bridge blocking Kathryn's path. He opened his mouth to speak when another voice cut in.

"Q, what are you doing chasing this insignificant bipedal being?" the voice came from a red headed female Q.

"I guess he just has a thing for red-heads." Came Tom Paris' snarky remark, as he quickly and correctly guessed that this must be Q's significant other.

"If you want a child Q why don't you have one with your… um, your… _mate_?" asked Kathryn.

"Well… uh… it's never been done. Two Q having… no it's never been done." Answered Q.

"There's a first time for everything, Q. Consider yourself, a pioneer, a leader for your fellow Q." Kathryn stroked at his ego.

"You're right Kathy," He grinned and turning to the female Q he said, "we'll be groundbreakers my dear Q, this could end the civil war between our people, unite them. Let go procreate my dear."

"Q, you sweet talker." Responded the female Q and both Q disappeared.

"What was that all about?" asked Harry.

"I have no idea." Kathryn shook her head and walked off of the bridge and onto the turbo lift.

A few minutes later Chakotay was back in the ready room trying, unsuccessfully, to focus on his work when Q appeared once again. "You're welcome by the way."

"What are you talking about Q?" Snapped Chakotay.

"Without me this little spat of yours with Kathy would have lasted days maybe even weeks; now she's willing to forget the whole thing and move on. And by the way, she was right about the aliens on that ship. Lucky Ensign, that Martin boy; he'd be dead right now if it weren't for Kathy."

"Somehow I don't imagine you're in the habit of performing benevolent acts, Q"

"I'm not, but I am awful fond of Kathy, and if I can rub it in that you were wrong, that's always nice bonus. Who knows maybe one day I'll actually succeed and she'll give me a chance, especially since you're so good at screwing things up. I'll be waiting for that opportunity, Chuckles. I don't imagine I'll have to wait long." With that Q disappeared. Chakotay cursed Q and tried to continue working, but his mind kept drifting back to Q's words. It did seem that was doing a fine job of screwing things up.

That evening Tom and B'Elanna celebrated their engagement with the entire crew. Kathryn and Chakotay attended the party together and appeared as in love as they had ever been. Chakotay was especially affectionate and considerate towards Kathryn.

Tom stood welcoming the crew, thanking them for showing their support for the couple by attending. He thanked the Captain and the Commander for all of their help in making the day possible. He then shocked Kathryn, and many others, by making another announcement. "As you all know, sometimes it's difficult to have these types of celebrations without our relatives. I say relatives and not family because all of you here today are my family. I'm sure most of you are aware that my relationship with my father, Admiral Paris, hasn't exactly been a warm, loving one. Being the man that he is, he made it difficult for me to stay close to my mother and sisters. Oh, I know they love me, and they are always happy to see me, but when they do, or did anyway, they were always afraid that dad would find out. Well I'm glad I have one sister that I don't have to worry about that with, and I am eternally grateful that she will be able to be present at my wedding. She gave me the opportunity to prove myself and has expected me to perform at my best; a definite contrast from other members of my family who are always waiting for me to screw up. Thank you for your confidence in me; I wouldn't be here, the man that I am, with the woman that I love, if it weren't for you, Sis." He raised his glass at Kathryn. "I love you, Katie. Thank you for everything. To Kathryn Janeway."

After a few gasps of astonishment, both at hearing Tom call the Captain Sis, and then Katie, even though he'd done it in jest at her engagement party, there was a chorus of 'here-here's and a few 'To the Captain's. The room then exploded in chatter with most of the crew trying to confirm if the Captain and Tom Paris were actually siblings. Kathryn turned to Chakotay and, mostly in jest, expressed her desire to hurt the helmsman.

Kathryn stood and tapped her glass with her fork drawing the attention of the entire room quite quickly. "Thank you, Tommy, for letting me know you were going to announce that little tidbit of information here." Tom smirked, looking only slightly embarrassed but thoroughly amused. "As for my confidence in you, you have earned every last bit of it. I have never regretted giving you the responsibilities you've been entrusted with and I've certainly never had a reason to regret the trust I've placed in you. Well with the exception of this little secret you've just let loose, but I suppose that one wasn't just mine to keep. Honestly, Tommy, I couldn't think of anyone else who could fill the spot of annoying little brother better than you." The audience chuckled. "I'm proud to call you my brother, and this means that B'Elanna will soon be my sister as well. I couldn't have chosen better sisters then the ones I have myself. I will now have two very wonderful sisters; one close to me and one a quadrant away. To family, our loved ones and relatives, our Voyager family as a whole, and the families we're creating on board." The occupants of room raised their glasses and toasted to family.

The next morning Harry and Kes announced their own engagement. Following by mere weeks was the engagement of Julia Harper and Billy Telfer, but the big surprise, only a week after that, was the engagement of Ensigns Martin and Kaplan.

A week later Chakotay officiated Tom and B'Elanna's wedding. Kathryn was her new sister-in-law's maid of honor and Harry stood as Tom's best man. Interestingly enough, there seemed to be no mention of a bachelor party this time around. Kathryn suspected that there had been one but the men had wisely made it a well-kept secret. After all there was that night that the men all went "camping" and "rafting" on the holodeck. Of course the women hadn't told the men that they had the other holodeck on the very same night.

The Captain and Commander Chakotay finally worked out who would stay home with Xoe, who was now known as Spitfire to the entire crew thanks to Tom Paris. It was so common to hear her referred to that way that even they, her own parents, occasionally let the nickname slip. Chakotay, after much thought, agreed that having sometime to bond with her would be nice. Ultimately they decided that Kathryn would stay home with little Spitfire for the first three weeks and Chakotay would stay with her for the next three weeks. Once both her parents returned to work she would go to the child care center where Julia and Tal had already set up an infant's area for her.

The night before Kathryn's first shift back Chakotay returned from beta shift to find her crying as she nursed the infant. He was immediately concerned and inquired as to what was wrong. "I don't want to leave her." Was all she answered. The next morning, however, the Captain reappeared and she was as cool, calm and collected as she had ever been.

During her first weeks back Kathryn was on an away mission with Neelix when_ Voyager_ encountered a macrovirus that infected the entire crew. When they returned to the ship she and Neelix found it seemingly abandoned. She checked Ensign Wildman's quarters as well as her own and found that even the infants were missing. The Doctor informed her that the crew was in the mess hall and the cargo bays, all infected and being used as food for the macrovirus. She immediately thought of the littlest crew members, Xoe and Naomi. They were surely the ones who were most likely to succumb to the infection. She worked quickly and was eventually able to cure the crew and rid _Voyager_ of the Macrovirus. Xoe and Naomi, however, would have to spend a few days in sickbay as their bodies were the most severely compromised.

The two children never had a shortage of visitors and soon the Doctor was ordering the visitors to take their stuffed animals and toys with them as there was no more room in sickbay for them all.

Janeway often felt guilty for causing the circumstances that required the two little girls to grow up on a ship stranded in the Delta Quadrant. The show of love and support the entire crew gave these children, however, was astonishing. She knew there couldn't be any children more loved than those two. She whole heartedly believed that any member of the crew would give their own life to protect _Voyager's_ children. She hoped this feeling would apply to any and all children born aboard_ Voyager_, as Tom and B'Elanna, had just announced that they too would soon be parents.


	38. Chapter 38

**I still own nothing. The character's are not mine, with the exception of Xoe Ciaran "Spitfire" Janeway. I make no money. I expect to put out a sequel to this story. I hope you have enjoyed it. Thank you.**

Kathryn and Chakotay stood outside of the child care center; both a bit unwilling to leave.

"Maybe I could take another week leave." Kathryn told Chakotay.

Chakotay eyed her with curiosity and disbelief. "Who are you and what have you done with my wife?"

"You know that would be funny if it wasn't so damn likely to happen; but no, there haven't been any alien possessions today. I just don't want to leave her. It was hard enough leaving her home with you, but now…" Kathryn's words trailed off.

"I know what you mean. I didn't think it would be this hard either. What do you mean it was hard leaving her with me? I know I'd feel better if she was home with you than in the center!" Chakotay feigned offense.

"We're being ridiculous. You know she's perfectly fine with Tal and Julia; they love the girls. You know with so many couples forming and planning families we may need to expand this center and add more workers." Kathryn mused.

"I think you might be right but let's wait and see we still have several months before our next addition arrives." They began walking away and toward the bridge. "However, I was thinking, Naomi is an extremely bright child, and currently growing at approximately twice the rate of a human child. I think we may need to talk about a preschool curriculum for her soon." Chakotay had been thinking about this ever since spending almost a week of his paternal leave in sickbay with the two children. "She's talking so clearly now, and she can identify most colors, she's learning to count. Samantha is doing a wonderful job, but I think we can do more."

"Alright, Chakotay if you think so, we'll get together with Samantha, Tal, and Julia and come up with some ideas. Maybe we can find some samples of preschool curriculums in the computer data base and we'll go from there."

They arrived on the bridge hand in hand; looking forward to the future.


End file.
